Intimacy: Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While...

By imustbegay - 09/05/2010 14:20 - United States

Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 364

You deserved it 10 406

Carnival of Disasters
Dive into carnival, where hilarious costumes meet unexpected mishaps. Laughter is guaranteed, mask or no mask! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Shy boy

By Oops - 24/10/2009 13:14 - United Kingdom

Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 995

You deserved it 6 829

Running commentary

By well crap... - 21/06/2020 14:18

Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 157

You deserved it 219

By killmenow - 10/09/2012 17:52 - United States - Seattle

Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 277

You deserved it 77 699

By ghgfd - 06/03/2013 14:53 - Canada - Barrie

Today, I went to the store to pick up some feminine products. As I was paying, the male cashier looked at me sympathetically and asked if it was my girlfriend's time of the month. I'm a girl and was buying them for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 875

You deserved it 4 427

By MenstruallyFrustrated - 23/07/2013 17:18 - United States - Surprise

Today, I was at the store, when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he was purchasing; it was a pack of condoms. When I questioned him, he said that, "They're for us, babe!" We already have an unopened pack at home, and it's my time of the month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 027

You deserved it 6 223

By yournick - 31/01/2011 21:23 - Canada

Today, at my job as a cashier, a very old man came through my checkout. His purchase consisted of a box of condoms and a can of whipped cream. The creepy smile he gave me has scarred me for life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 261

You deserved it 4 837

By Anonymous - 31/12/2015 22:33 - United States - Washington Crossing

Today, I was standing in line at the checkout, and my children were arguing with each other. The guy in front of me sighed loudly and told me over his shoulder: "There're these things called condoms, you know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 810

You deserved it 7 457

By Anonymous - 24/07/2013 20:56 - United States - South Hadley

Today, I was buying condoms but was a little embarrassed so I went to the self-check. I scanned the condoms, then a magazine and tried to put the condoms under the magazines to hide them. The store guy saw me, thought I was shoplifting and I was kicked out of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 851

You deserved it 15 942

By useless pos - 01/03/2013 00:48 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 301

You deserved it 12 386

By madfather - 23/02/2009 01:38 - United States

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go "don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 137

You deserved it 72 645

chocolateybar 0

Sunday 9 May 2010 20:10

YOUR FRIEND ROCKS :">

YUMmMm 0

Sunday 9 May 2010 20:22

LOL! your guy frnd IS amazing :P

Comments

the_undead 11

Sunday 9 May 2010 20:27

lmfao he is so ******* awesome!!!

melkell 0

Monday 10 May 2010 5:41

soooo cute :-(

TrillionHearts 0

Sunday 9 May 2010 20:26

Just laugh it off. xP

pandamaddox 0

Sunday 9 May 2010 20:26

"love you too snookems!" yep. that's what I woulda said. :)

sadez 0

Sunday 9 May 2010 20:29

really not a fml, that's awesome.

mattman154 0

Sunday 9 May 2010 20:32

Today, my friend was buying condoms so I thought I would inject some humour in his day, he now hates me cause he has no sense of humor. fml

alexxusbrowning2 0

Sunday 9 May 2010 20:33

i love your friend:)

Cheetahman103 0

Sunday 9 May 2010 20:33

lol ur friend is beast!! but, are you gay? it's what ur name says

Spastastic 6

Sunday 9 May 2010 20:34

That's really hilarious. The people who gave you dirty looks are assholes.

WolfsGuns 0

Sunday 9 May 2010 20:34

I give up, this commenting system is just way too ****** up

RaIeigh 0

Sunday 9 May 2010 20:37

Don't give up #35, I feel your pain bruh.

ImaginaryFoe 0

Sunday 9 May 2010 22:27

Yeah, my comments disappeared, too. It happens.

missdisasta 0

Sunday 9 May 2010 20:37

ur friend is awesome but those ppl behind u r hella mean for giving u dirty looks.homophobes.even if u not lol

Keywords

Miscellaneous Sleep Awkward Love Weddings Television Money Relatable Snow Transportation Annoying Family Kids Pregnancy Mental health Empathy Toxic Food Animals Cats Argument Gamers Health Valentine's Day Gross Homeowners Home improvement Babysitter Drugs Music

The Top

Today, my date left the restaurant because I didn’t agree with his opinions about the mentally disabled or mixed race couples, etc. Basically, a real scumbag. He also left me the bill, and it turned out he had all the most expensive menu items, including a £120 bottle of wine. It cost over £300 total. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 362

You deserved it 359

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 842

You deserved it 4 026

The Top

Today, after searching for a job for over a year now, I finally got an interview. The pressure made me so nervous that I passed out in the middle of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 337

You deserved it 5 695

Today some young teenager nervously approached me, saying he’d done a drawing of me, and that I could have it if I wanted, then he ran off blushing. I thought it was cute until I saw the picture. It was me and him in extraordinary detail, having anal sex, with a dildo up my vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 650

You deserved it 162

Today, my boss fired me by locking me out of my workplace after I went out to throw out the trash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 668

You deserved it 2 512

Today, after I’ve been head-over heels crushing on a girl for years, she finally told me she felt the same. A month after I'd moved to a different country forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 878

You deserved it 245

Today, my neighbor, who has 4 video cameras pointed at the front of my house, got a drone that’s now hovering over my backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 106

You deserved it 77

Today, I saw my brother on TV after 3 years of no contact. He was being arrested on Cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 164

You deserved it 4 043

Same thing different taste

Shy boy

Running commentary

Top comments

Comments