Love: Today, I was called a ruthless bitch for not waking up early...

By cantfallbackasleep - 22/10/2015 14:05 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I was called a ruthless bitch for not waking up early to search for my car keys, so my boyfriend could go get his pipe and get high before work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 765

You deserved it 5 374

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By probablyfired - 25/07/2019 02:01

Today, I was running late for work. I was trying to find my car keys, then realized I'd left them in my boyfriend's car. My phone charger was locked in my car, and my phone was dead. I couldn’t get hold of my boss and explain what had happened. I’m fired, aren’t I? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 352

You deserved it 595

By cockalicious - 01/03/2011 05:29

Today, my boyfriend let me know he wanted me to leave by repeatedly jabbing me with my car keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 713

You deserved it 5 022

Not a morning person

By crazybitch - 18/06/2012 04:57 - Canada - Okotoks

Today, I learned that when my girlfriend told me that she's a different person without coffee and smokes in the morning, she wasn't kidding; after I'd asked her how she'd slept, she bitched me out for "mocking her" and hurled a hairdryer at my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 009

You deserved it 4 069

Red flags all over the place

By DumpedHisAss - 14/10/2009 15:19 - United States

Today, I got a phone call from my boyfriend, who screamed at me for being a f-ing liar and never taking time for him. He'd called my work and knew I wasn't there as I said I'd be. He was right - I was lying. I'd been driving for the past 10 hours to his family's beach house to surprise him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 293

You deserved it 3 776

By Anonymous - 02/02/2014 17:33 - United States - Far Rockaway

Today, I was bitched out at 2 a.m. by my parents, for trying to "sneak out." I was sneaking out of my bedroom to take a crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 040

You deserved it 3 988

By GoodDog - 09/09/2009 13:21 - United States

Today, I yelled at my dog for waking me up growling and barking out the window. He was doing it at the person stealing my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 855

You deserved it 51 893

Drunk dick

By Anonymous - 07/10/2019 20:00

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called the cops on me and told them I wasn’t letting him in the house. His keys were in the door, he was just too drunk to unlock it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 851

You deserved it 180

Short nap

By Anonymous - 10/09/2024 06:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, my girlfriend told me I could sleep in. Twenty minutes later, she was banging on the door, yelling, "Get up, fat lazy fuck! It's seven o'clock, we have chores! You expect me to do everything for your worthless ass!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 486

You deserved it 118

So you had a bad day…

By That guy - 15/10/2020 17:01

Today, I woke up early for work and spent 30 minutes frantically looking for my keys. I had to take a 30-minute Uber ride to work, then drove an hour in the company truck, only to be stood up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 958

You deserved it 149

Drunken lout

By whippingpost - 08/03/2020 04:56

Today, I learned a co-worker called and awoke my boss at 3 a.m. to complain that I'd been "rude" to him. All I'd done was make a disapproving face because he'd been drinking and he was slobbering drunk, and wanted to charge his purchase to his employee account, a definite no-no when not on the clock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 561

You deserved it 128

zilfy 17

Friday 23 October 2015 1:42

How can you even stand someone like this?

Hiimhaileypotter 52

Friday 23 October 2015 1:44

Real respectful boyfriend you got there.

Comments

ladyg228 15

Friday 23 October 2015 19:08

And your with him?

verybadgod 12

Friday 23 October 2015 19:25

That's a Dealbreaker, ladies (copyright Liz Lemon)

ELoni_fml 25

Friday 23 October 2015 22:57

He sounds swell..

GrumpyGrinch 23

Friday 23 October 2015 23:31

YDI! He should be an ex long ago!

gabriel57 4

Friday 23 October 2015 23:32

why do assholes like these have girlfriends and i don't?

arp2169 8

Saturday 24 October 2015 2:15

Are you being forced to date this piece of crap? No, it is apparent you have terrible taste in men so shut up about your problems. You did this to yourself. You want me to call the wambulance, you crybaby.

ammacias13 9

Saturday 24 October 2015 4:50

that jerk. break his pipe!!!!

mariri9206 32

Saturday 24 October 2015 5:14

Call him your ex.

tinyalmeida 11

Saturday 24 October 2015 5:31

Sounds like your boyfriend has a drug problem.....real wonder there!

LovelyLyssa911 5

Saturday 24 October 2015 5:42

I have no problem with weed, I smoke it. But I would never put it before my boyfriend. That's pretty breakup worthy, especially if similar things have happened before. Sorry OP, that really sucks.