Miscellaneous: Today, I was carrying a hot cup of noodles. I sneezed and accidentally...

By Nick - 11/02/2010 18:35 - United States

Today, I was carrying a hot cup of noodles. I sneezed and accidentally stabbed myself in the forehead with a fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 496

You deserved it 5 583

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 29/12/2014 19:11 - United States - Hillsboro

Today, while putting a water bottle into the fridge, I suddenly had to sneeze. The force of my sneezing propelled my head against the open fridge door, causing a gushing wound to my forehead. Bless me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 112

You deserved it 3 608

By Etta - 04/03/2017 22:00 - United States

Today, I stayed home from work, feeling ill. Come lunch time, I made myself some ramen noodles, thinking that the broth would feel good on my throat. Too bad I sneezed while carrying the bowl, dumping the boiling hot broth all down my front. The skin on my boob peeled away like tissue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 537

You deserved it 589

By ke - 29/01/2010 05:10 - United States

Today, I did something clever at work and I was telling one of the other girls about it. I said "Just using my noodle" and went to tap my temple but instead I jabbed myself in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 855

You deserved it 30 874

Clumsy

By Anonymous - 11/01/2021 20:02

Today, I was making Cup Noodles for breakfast. After microwaving it for 3 minutes, I carefully grabbed the cup to pour some water out, but my hand gave out and some water spilled on it. Now I have a burned hand and no noodles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 761

You deserved it 280

By mwja - 26/02/2011 22:59 - France

Today, thanks to a particularly spicy bowl of noodles, my nose decided it would rather be a fountain. A fountain of blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 530

You deserved it 3 948

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 20:13 - France

Today, I broke my nose by sneezing too close to a table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 323

You deserved it 7 577

By Anonymous - 22/05/2019 00:01

Today, a fork hit me in the eye. I was holding it. I didn't even get to eat my chicken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 410

You deserved it 559

By yankesik - 03/01/2016 22:42 - Poland - Kalisz

Today, I sneezed hard while eating some quite spicy potato chips at my friend's house. Some of the chips passed to the nasal cavity, and I ended up having to pick my nose for some pointy, spicy chips shrapnel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 292

You deserved it 1 829

By klutz - 25/08/2010 04:14 - Canada

Today, while grabbing a husk of corn out of the boiling hot pot, I splashed hot water on my neck, dropped the corn on my injured toe, and cut myself on the counters, all while my family laughed at my pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 210

You deserved it 9 714

By HWS - 15/04/2011 05:47 - Canada

Today, I sneezed so hard I fell down the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 286

You deserved it 7 776

angry_girl 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 23:18

you forked yourself ... who hasn't

maskedman 9

Thursday 11 February 2010 23:18

wow. was there penetration or was it like softcore ****?

Comments

MermaidSongXOXO 6

Thursday 11 February 2010 23:26

D'oh :[

deathcab7 0

Friday 12 February 2010 0:46

hahahahahahahahaha ^ so true.

Ajjas013 6

Friday 12 February 2010 2:07

At least OP wasn't spooned xD

metazoanhaddock 11

Friday 12 February 2010 7:08

but that might be considered a win, no? 0_o

AngryNinja 1

Thursday 11 February 2010 23:26

op, as me and my friends would say, what a shelby move! my best friend is a total klutz. :P anywho, how is your life ******, exactly?

vampyre_girly 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 23:27

it happens. gosh snickerdoodles you get on my nerves. just because it never happened to you doesn't mean it can't happen to anybody else. nobodys perfect. especially you.

focusf111 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 23:30

well what did we learn??? walk with the pointies???thats right, down

CallMeHush 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 23:33

You didn't eat the snooger that landed in the cup did you? Oh no, FYLife again.

Foxracingluver 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 23:35

wait then I'm confused.. wat does the bowl of noodles have to do with anything??

28actress 22

Wednesday 7 September 2016 15:05

I think he stabbed himself in an attempt to cover his mouth without sneezing in or dropping said noodles

icanspellgud 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 23:36

vampyre, are you on your period?

omgitsdomonique 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 23:37

win.

applesmoothiee 2

Thursday 11 February 2010 23:42

loll thtt wss lykk so funii zomgg

Mr_26 0

Friday 12 February 2010 7:34

the hell you talking bout?

applesmoothiee 2

Friday 12 February 2010 14:08

I know i hate it when people do that, amost as much as I hate the word 'yhouu' I was hungry and wanted someone to feed the troll. And it worked!

FYLD0UCHE_fml 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 23:46

She just got done reading twilight, which is known to cause spontaneous periods and the downfall of literature.

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Sleep Work Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Teenagers Dogs Animals Video games Gamers Ironic Zoom

The Top

Today, at work, I'm supervising one person. Recently there's been tension between her and a couple of other coworkers, one of which was her friend. I spent the day running around and trying to smooth things over, just to find out what started this was her walking in on her former friend talking about her behind her back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 293

You deserved it 95

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 482

You deserved it 11 505

The Top

Today, my mother lectured me for not spending enough time with her. We literally just got back from a 10 day vacation together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 756

You deserved it 834

Today, I finally got the cast off my leg after being unable to walk for 6 weeks, watching daytime TV or playing my husband's Xbox all day. The second the plaster came off, I tried to stand up, tripped over the doctor's foot and broke the apparently still not fully healed leg again in the same spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 121

You deserved it 239

Today, I learned that my 18-year-old son has had more sexual partners together at one time than I've had separately in total in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 180

You deserved it 222

Today, I went to a Halloween party dressed as a pirate. Someone complimented me on how convincing the fake teeth were that I had on for my costume. I wasn't wearing fake teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 201

You deserved it 6 568

Today, I saw my ex husband walking with his very beautiful, very pregnant wife. We divorced 7 months ago because he told me he was gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 636

You deserved it 5 591

Today, my friends and I were messing around with an app on my phone that makes your picture look fat. My picture looked the same before and after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 234

You deserved it 10 426

Same thing different taste

Clumsy

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