Kids: Today, I was changing my son's diaper when he said "Momma." Astonished...

By milf - 06/08/2012 01:10 - United States - Muncie

Today, I was changing my son's diaper when he said "Momma." Astonished that he'd finally spoken, I clapped and smiled proudly. My clap scared the crap out of him. Literally. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 199

You deserved it 5 248

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Same thing different taste

By finalyearsofhate - 13/03/2017 22:00

Today, my son took a nap quietly for the first time ever. As I went to wake him up, I realized why. A previously poop-filled diaper came flying at me when I opened the door. FML

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You deserved it 561

Good job

By Anonymous - 11/01/2010 18:08 - United States

Today, the little boy I nanny for finally stood up and went 'pee-pee on the potty'. I started cheering and clapping, making a big deal out of it. I flushed while he smiled proudly and pooped on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 087

You deserved it 3 620

Blasted

By coolest_mom - 25/11/2015 06:00

Today, while changing my daughter's diaper, I lifted up her butt to wipe her, which coincidentally caused her to fart. I hadn't wiped her yet so the force of air caused poop to fly at me at high speed, landing on my chest and face. My husband burst out laughing, saying, "You've been ass-blasted!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 047

You deserved it 2 968

By applesmama - 17/09/2011 04:36 - United States

Today, my daughter spoke her first words. Her dad had been practicing with her for weeks in secret. She crawled to me and said, "I poop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 479

You deserved it 4 687

Loud fart

By naomi3271 - 18/11/2019 20:00

Today, I accidentally scared my one year-old son with my huge, smelly fart that was really loud. He now won't come near me without crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 941

You deserved it 671

Amplified

By Anonymous - 01/09/2010 23:04 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML

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You deserved it 4 373

Daddy's in the shit again

By habbsrule - 15/06/2012 14:21 - Canada

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 508

You deserved it 30 129

By Anonymous - 18/04/2014 22:35 - Canada - Concord

Today, my son said his first complete sentence: "Mommy likes shit." Not only will he not stop saying it, I have no idea who taught him to say it in the first place. FML

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You deserved it 4 861

Charming...

By Anonymous - 01/06/2018 15:00

Today, my toddler is starting to realize when she has a dirty diaper. How do I know? She walked up to me with a shit covered hand, saying "Poop Mommy! Poop!!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 371

You deserved it 406

By WOCOACH - 09/09/2009 19:33 - United States

Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 902

You deserved it 5 044

Codezlol 21

Monday 6 August 2012 9:10

The joys of parenthood and cleaning poop!

s0m3guy2010 21

Monday 6 August 2012 9:12

That's a pretty useful skill actually. Who needs laxatives when you can just clap your hands?

Comments

skyeyez9 24

Monday 6 August 2012 15:43

My daughter usually waited till about 30 seconds after I changed her diaper and put her clothes back on to take a shit.

scr_sensei 14

Monday 6 August 2012 17:00

And now your child has to live with the inevitable horror of hearing this story of his first word for the rest of his life.

Calyx_fml 21

Monday 6 August 2012 18:51

You gave your son the clap.

mskimbelinapham 5

Monday 6 August 2012 18:57

My baby cousin's first word is my name! ;) lol

Oceanlondon 5

Monday 6 August 2012 22:28

at least you were prepared xD

SS 31

Tuesday 7 August 2012 0:51

If I was told this story of me doing this I wouldn't be embarrassed by it; I would just laugh at it. After all, we were all babies once, and we can't help it. Also, be thankful for changing matts eh (presuming you were using one). it could be worse; I know a baby who twice pissed all over his mum while having his nappy changed.

AnnaMarieGoodson 3

Tuesday 7 August 2012 0:58

lol okay milf.

worldclassrager 39

Tuesday 7 August 2012 3:52

I really hope that wasn't on what you were changing him on depending on that it may be okie or horrible...

hateevryone 14

Tuesday 7 August 2012 5:21

This doesn't even need to be on here.

Negroification 7

Tuesday 7 August 2012 5:36

Americans will clap at anything. Americans clap in the weirdest situations. I've seen them do it in movies, at the grocery store, at KFC. What is it with you guys and clapping?