Kids: Today, I was changing my son's diaper when he said "Momma." Astonished...

By milf - 06/08/2012 01:10 - United States - Muncie

Today, I was changing my son's diaper when he said "Momma." Astonished that he'd finally spoken, I clapped and smiled proudly. My clap scared the crap out of him. Literally. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 199

You deserved it 5 248

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Same thing different taste

By finalyearsofhate - 13/03/2017 22:00

Today, my son took a nap quietly for the first time ever. As I went to wake him up, I realized why. A previously poop-filled diaper came flying at me when I opened the door. FML

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You deserved it 561

Good job

By Anonymous - 11/01/2010 18:08 - United States

Today, the little boy I nanny for finally stood up and went 'pee-pee on the potty'. I started cheering and clapping, making a big deal out of it. I flushed while he smiled proudly and pooped on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 087

You deserved it 3 620

Blasted

By coolest_mom - 25/11/2015 06:00

Today, while changing my daughter's diaper, I lifted up her butt to wipe her, which coincidentally caused her to fart. I hadn't wiped her yet so the force of air caused poop to fly at me at high speed, landing on my chest and face. My husband burst out laughing, saying, "You've been ass-blasted!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 047

You deserved it 2 968

By applesmama - 17/09/2011 04:36 - United States

Today, my daughter spoke her first words. Her dad had been practicing with her for weeks in secret. She crawled to me and said, "I poop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 479

You deserved it 4 687

Loud fart

By naomi3271 - 18/11/2019 20:00

Today, I accidentally scared my one year-old son with my huge, smelly fart that was really loud. He now won't come near me without crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 941

You deserved it 671

Amplified

By Anonymous - 01/09/2010 23:04 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML

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You deserved it 4 373

Daddy's in the shit again

By habbsrule - 15/06/2012 14:21 - Canada

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 508

You deserved it 30 129

By Anonymous - 18/04/2014 22:35 - Canada - Concord

Today, my son said his first complete sentence: "Mommy likes shit." Not only will he not stop saying it, I have no idea who taught him to say it in the first place. FML

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You deserved it 4 861

Charming...

By Anonymous - 01/06/2018 15:00

Today, my toddler is starting to realize when she has a dirty diaper. How do I know? She walked up to me with a shit covered hand, saying "Poop Mommy! Poop!!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 371

You deserved it 406

By WOCOACH - 09/09/2009 19:33 - United States

Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 902

You deserved it 5 044

Codezlol 21

Monday 6 August 2012 9:10

The joys of parenthood and cleaning poop!

s0m3guy2010 21

Monday 6 August 2012 9:12

That's a pretty useful skill actually. Who needs laxatives when you can just clap your hands?

Comments

Kallian_fml 21

Monday 6 August 2012 11:13

Now that horrible experience is embedded in his brain. Every time someone claps, he'll be rushing to the bathroom. Congratulations OP. *claps*

bulbul116_fml 4

Monday 6 August 2012 11:17

lol poor baby..

loloalltheway 23

Monday 6 August 2012 11:41

Sooo cute !!!

reject214 10

Monday 6 August 2012 12:11

Don't get that kid The Clapper for his room! Hey, who remembers that device?

lexiieeex3 32

Monday 6 August 2012 12:58

Lol aww poor baby!

lexiieeex3 32

Monday 6 August 2012 13:00

Whoops didn't see 42

wholikesbacon 9

Monday 6 August 2012 13:11

Dam OP! Well, at Least your son said something!

DylansMomma 9

Monday 6 August 2012 14:23

Your comment : I wouldn't really consider this a FML. That's just another day in the life of motherhood.

snafu63 0

Monday 6 August 2012 14:35

so you don't put the clean diaper under the child while you clean his ass? or at least a bath towel? nice job ydi

HaileyBeth16 1

Monday 6 August 2012 16:32

She never said she didn't....

lelo007 11

Monday 6 August 2012 16:47

52- I have never heard of putting a clean diaper down until AFTER the child is cleaned. Why would you risk throwing away 2 diapers rather than 1? Poop and poop on stuff comes with the territory of having a baby.

snafu63 0

Sunday 12 August 2012 18:43

I'd rather risk throwing away 2 diapers than get shit on my carpet, bed or other surface that the baby may be on. And I am fully aware that getting crap on stuff is inevitable when you have a baby doesn't mean you can't take precautions.

SamanthaCassieL 10

Monday 6 August 2012 15:06

Congrats on the first word!!! That's a big step! And it's super exciting, especially if it's your first (I wouldn't know first hand, but hearing friends and family reactions seems that way!) but either way, congrats! Just don't clap when he learns to walk ;) lol