Kids: Today, I was changing my son's diaper when he said "Momma." Astonished...

By milf - 06/08/2012 01:10 - United States - Muncie

Today, I was changing my son's diaper when he said "Momma." Astonished that he'd finally spoken, I clapped and smiled proudly. My clap scared the crap out of him. Literally. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 199

You deserved it 5 248

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Same thing different taste

By finalyearsofhate - 13/03/2017 22:00

Today, my son took a nap quietly for the first time ever. As I went to wake him up, I realized why. A previously poop-filled diaper came flying at me when I opened the door. FML

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You deserved it 561

Good job

By Anonymous - 11/01/2010 18:08 - United States

Today, the little boy I nanny for finally stood up and went 'pee-pee on the potty'. I started cheering and clapping, making a big deal out of it. I flushed while he smiled proudly and pooped on the floor. FML

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You deserved it 3 620

Blasted

By coolest_mom - 25/11/2015 06:00

Today, while changing my daughter's diaper, I lifted up her butt to wipe her, which coincidentally caused her to fart. I hadn't wiped her yet so the force of air caused poop to fly at me at high speed, landing on my chest and face. My husband burst out laughing, saying, "You've been ass-blasted!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 047

You deserved it 2 968

By applesmama - 17/09/2011 04:36 - United States

Today, my daughter spoke her first words. Her dad had been practicing with her for weeks in secret. She crawled to me and said, "I poop." FML

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You deserved it 4 687

Loud fart

By naomi3271 - 18/11/2019 20:00

Today, I accidentally scared my one year-old son with my huge, smelly fart that was really loud. He now won't come near me without crying. FML

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You deserved it 671

Amplified

By Anonymous - 01/09/2010 23:04 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML

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You deserved it 4 373

Daddy's in the shit again

By habbsrule - 15/06/2012 14:21 - Canada

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

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You deserved it 30 129

By Anonymous - 18/04/2014 22:35 - Canada - Concord

Today, my son said his first complete sentence: "Mommy likes shit." Not only will he not stop saying it, I have no idea who taught him to say it in the first place. FML

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You deserved it 4 861

Charming...

By Anonymous - 01/06/2018 15:00

Today, my toddler is starting to realize when she has a dirty diaper. How do I know? She walked up to me with a shit covered hand, saying "Poop Mommy! Poop!!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 371

You deserved it 406

By WOCOACH - 09/09/2009 19:33 - United States

Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 902

You deserved it 5 044

Codezlol 21

Monday 6 August 2012 9:10

The joys of parenthood and cleaning poop!

s0m3guy2010 21

Monday 6 August 2012 9:12

That's a pretty useful skill actually. Who needs laxatives when you can just clap your hands?

Comments

mtrrace 4

Monday 6 August 2012 9:16

He was scared shitless

nevershoutkendal_fml 10

Monday 6 August 2012 9:19

It's just like the device that turns on lights with a clap of the hands! Oh, the Clapper! Now your son can say goodbye to constipation forever. I hope he doesn't become a performer of any sort. When he gets a round of applause, it won't be pretty.

kittytub 12

Monday 6 August 2012 10:10

I was just gonna post that, haha. I guess the creators of the Clap On, Clap Off didn't anticipate this!

Ohreo 2

Thursday 6 December 2012 4:12

It should be called the Crapper ;)

annie_nk 22

Monday 6 August 2012 9:21

Playing "If you're happy and you know it" with him might not be the best idea lol.

wild_n_out 8

Monday 6 August 2012 16:23

Your son is freakin' adorable.

annie_nk 22

Monday 6 August 2012 16:41

Lol daughter. It's a blue dress she's wearing so yeah.

LaughterofCorn 4

Monday 6 August 2012 9:23

And from here on out, the child had a phobia of clapping and shat themselves at every social gathering that included it.

oj101 33

Monday 6 August 2012 9:42

You scared the shit outta him.

dude1122332 9

Monday 6 August 2012 9:51

I believe that was already established.

aleeshttylXD 9

Monday 6 August 2012 20:16

no shit

skyttlz 32

Tuesday 7 August 2012 10:14

You don't say.

jetsown08 21

Monday 6 August 2012 9:50

Hopefully, he didn't have sonic diarrhea and shit all over you.

Bob88rob 1

Monday 6 August 2012 9:53

Sounds like a crappy situation!

jetsown08 21

Monday 6 August 2012 10:00

Quite original! It's even funnier the 85,000th time you see it!

supportcommand 17

Monday 6 August 2012 9:58

YDI for having kids. Comes with the territory. Dogs are way better. Housebroken by 3 months. Feed the same food everyday. And you can put them in a cage if they're bad. FYL.