Miscellaneous: Today, I was dared to eat durian. With my reputation hanging...

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By cadillacfrank - 24/07/2011 21:01 - United States

Today, I was dared to eat durian. With my reputation hanging in the balance, I bought one. Only after I opened it did I realize the extent of the dare. It smelled and tasted like dried cat shit that Satan himself had regurgitated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 821

You deserved it 36 587

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Same thing different taste

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By Anonymous - 21/02/2024 22:00 - United States - Bisbee

Today, I decided to be adventurous and try a new exotic fruit. I bought a dragon fruit, but no one warned me that it looks better on Instagram than it tastes. Now I have a fridge full of disappointment and a dragon fruit that's more like a dragon letdown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 655

By Coldsnap - 12/08/2011 17:25 - Sweden

Today, my father tricked me into eating a Tasmanian habanero, saying it was just another pepper. The burning in my mouth was unbearable, but nothing compared to when I took a shit later in the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 853

You deserved it 5 014

By anonymous - 21/10/2013 06:53 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I noticed that my sweat smelled like cat food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 310

You deserved it 7 210

By my bravado's gonna kill me one day - 10/08/2018 13:00

Today, as a big fan of spicy food and a huge challenge seeker, I decided to try the hottest burger I could order. Despite being warned by a waitress, I went for it. After eating a third, I had trouble breathing from the spiciness. The waitress was smirking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 273

You deserved it 3 897

Thanks, I hate it

By CabbageFart92 - 04/09/2017 01:30

Today, a package was delivered to my house. Thinking it was my new blender, I hurriedly brought it in to open it. Inside the box was an assortment of rotten vegetables that stank like Satan's asshole. I have no idea who it's from or why they hate me so much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 627

You deserved it 331

By :x - 03/02/2016 15:40 - United States - Richmond

Today, I tried to be sexy by pulling down my girlfriend's panties with my teeth. I didn't expect to be faced with the mother of all shit stains and start gagging so bad I nearly puked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 943

You deserved it 5 371

By Anonymous - 11/05/2015 16:06 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, my girlfriend surprised me with what was allegedly a birthday "cake". It was so horribly deformed, I wasn't sure whether to eat it or wear it as a hat. I had to pretend it didn't taste like play-doh, and ended up throwing it up in the toilet. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 318

You deserved it 4 518

By melon squash - 11/09/2016 10:15 - Belgium - Kessel-lo

Today, I lifted up a watermelon, not realising it had gone bad. The thing exploded like an alien giving birth. Stinking juice and rotten inside all over the kitchen. Even behind the build-in closets. It smells like rotten fruit cheese and I can't reach behind the closets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 570

You deserved it 1 330

Fermentation

By Anonymous - 20/09/2010 08:28 - United States

Today, I ate what was supposed to be a delicious mini powdered donut. The first one tasted funny, so I pulled out another one and realized that the powdered sugar was now in fact powdered hairy mold. Then I looked at the package and realized it was over a year and a half old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 733

You deserved it 40 822

By Ammile - 25/12/2018 04:00

Today I had a customer come into my office smelling like feces, urine and body odor. I tried not to get sick to my stomach but failed miserably. I threw up in my trash can in front of him. It now smells like feces, urine, body odor and vomit in here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 917

You deserved it 200

Sesh54 7

Monday 25 July 2011 0:29

uhh......well worded and described I guess........

dolphincheddar 10

Monday 25 July 2011 0:41

so you have a reputation of eating shit from the Bowels of Satan and you wanted to keep it? is this charlie sheens fml?

Comments

mpclaw 3

Monday 25 July 2011 7:13

no, I actually think it's worse than what you described.

mLsSfTw208 0

Monday 25 July 2011 7:17

**** i durin is awsome i would know im asian

TayRAWR10 0

Monday 25 July 2011 7:21

I'm not sure myself what that even is..but the way you described it....thanks for sharing.

fmylifehardbody 3

Monday 25 July 2011 7:23

there's nothing wrong with durian. it looks gross but tastes great

j_casa 5

Monday 25 July 2011 7:27

so your reputation consists of eating dried cat poop?.... you should rethink your life.... just saying..

lolol_BKYCHO 3

Monday 25 July 2011 7:28

81, As a Texan I can assure you that rattlesnake is not a delicacy and that only the eccentric eat it.

SteelCladAngel 0

Monday 25 July 2011 7:28

lol durian is the only thing Andrew zimmern ((bizarre foods guy)) won't eat!!

lmBobSaget 0

Monday 25 July 2011 7:30

well, i heard very bad things about the smell, in some country's you cant even take it on a public bus. But from most people i heard it tastes almost like vanilla.