Miscellaneous: Today, I was dared to eat durian. With my reputation hanging...

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By cadillacfrank - 24/07/2011 21:01 - United States

Today, I was dared to eat durian. With my reputation hanging in the balance, I bought one. Only after I opened it did I realize the extent of the dare. It smelled and tasted like dried cat shit that Satan himself had regurgitated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 821

You deserved it 36 587

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By Anonymous - 21/02/2024 22:00 - United States - Bisbee

Today, I decided to be adventurous and try a new exotic fruit. I bought a dragon fruit, but no one warned me that it looks better on Instagram than it tastes. Now I have a fridge full of disappointment and a dragon fruit that's more like a dragon letdown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 655

By Coldsnap - 12/08/2011 17:25 - Sweden

Today, my father tricked me into eating a Tasmanian habanero, saying it was just another pepper. The burning in my mouth was unbearable, but nothing compared to when I took a shit later in the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 853

You deserved it 5 014

By anonymous - 21/10/2013 06:53 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I noticed that my sweat smelled like cat food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 310

You deserved it 7 210

By my bravado's gonna kill me one day - 10/08/2018 13:00

Today, as a big fan of spicy food and a huge challenge seeker, I decided to try the hottest burger I could order. Despite being warned by a waitress, I went for it. After eating a third, I had trouble breathing from the spiciness. The waitress was smirking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 273

You deserved it 3 897

Thanks, I hate it

By CabbageFart92 - 04/09/2017 01:30

Today, a package was delivered to my house. Thinking it was my new blender, I hurriedly brought it in to open it. Inside the box was an assortment of rotten vegetables that stank like Satan's asshole. I have no idea who it's from or why they hate me so much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 627

You deserved it 331

By :x - 03/02/2016 15:40 - United States - Richmond

Today, I tried to be sexy by pulling down my girlfriend's panties with my teeth. I didn't expect to be faced with the mother of all shit stains and start gagging so bad I nearly puked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 943

You deserved it 5 371

By Anonymous - 11/05/2015 16:06 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, my girlfriend surprised me with what was allegedly a birthday "cake". It was so horribly deformed, I wasn't sure whether to eat it or wear it as a hat. I had to pretend it didn't taste like play-doh, and ended up throwing it up in the toilet. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 318

You deserved it 4 518

By melon squash - 11/09/2016 10:15 - Belgium - Kessel-lo

Today, I lifted up a watermelon, not realising it had gone bad. The thing exploded like an alien giving birth. Stinking juice and rotten inside all over the kitchen. Even behind the build-in closets. It smells like rotten fruit cheese and I can't reach behind the closets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 570

You deserved it 1 330

Fermentation

By Anonymous - 20/09/2010 08:28 - United States

Today, I ate what was supposed to be a delicious mini powdered donut. The first one tasted funny, so I pulled out another one and realized that the powdered sugar was now in fact powdered hairy mold. Then I looked at the package and realized it was over a year and a half old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 733

You deserved it 40 822

By Ammile - 25/12/2018 04:00

Today I had a customer come into my office smelling like feces, urine and body odor. I tried not to get sick to my stomach but failed miserably. I threw up in my trash can in front of him. It now smells like feces, urine, body odor and vomit in here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 917

You deserved it 200

Sesh54 7

Monday 25 July 2011 0:29

uhh......well worded and described I guess........

dolphincheddar 10

Monday 25 July 2011 0:41

so you have a reputation of eating shit from the Bowels of Satan and you wanted to keep it? is this charlie sheens fml?

Comments

crashblossom 0

Monday 25 July 2011 7:44

Ha the agrees are at 666 now.

littlemissalex 3

Monday 25 July 2011 7:46

I was going to say that YDI, but FYL had 666 votes, and it bothered me. Feel lucky.

sillymcjews 0

Monday 25 July 2011 7:59

wow that funny cuz i was also dared the exact same thing today. but it tasted and smelled like rotten junk from a garbage can

MeaganJFD 0

Monday 25 July 2011 8:03

and how would you know what Satan regurgitated? haha Jk

jazzybaby179 22

Monday 25 July 2011 8:12

i'm guessing you have eaten cat shit before

lexi29_fml 0

Monday 25 July 2011 8:18

So Satan ate some cat shit and upon deciding it wasn't his thing, he vomited it up. Then you eat it... nice...

DrewsFML 8

Monday 25 July 2011 8:28

Remember that movie Alive, where they ate their fellow passengers killed in the plane crash to survive? The cargo bay was loaded with cases of durian, but they couldn't bring themselves to eat it.

BGoodRBCareful 5

Monday 25 July 2011 8:29

Ummm, did you happen to mention that you're in Indonesia, you lucky guy? Only place I know where I know where you this is a treat. I'm jealous, both in location and taste. Get past the smell and you will will love it!

Captain0bv10us 0

Monday 25 July 2011 8:51

Haha, those are actually banned in some places

duaphep 4

Monday 25 July 2011 8:59

Nice wording. But ydi. Duran is one of the best fruits, though at first its smell maybe too strong for many people (like me, I used to not being able to bear it). Once you get used to the smell, you'll LOVE it!