Work: Today, I was delivering packages as usual for work. I was dropping... - FML

By FedExMan - 11/08/2009 23:15 - United States

Today, I was delivering packages as usual for work. I was dropping off a large letter to a hot girl. Before I turned to leave the girl opened her mouth to say something. Instead, she just vomited all over me. Her letter was my first delivery of the day. I had to finish my job covered in puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 714

You deserved it 2 623

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Grossed out

By Anonymous - 10/11/2018 14:00

Today, I was helping this girl to the nurse’s office because she was so sick that she could barely walk. About halfway there, she stopped and vomited on me. My jaw was dropped in shock when she threw up on me again. A little went into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 799

You deserved it 350

Pleased to meet you

By Eww - 05/10/2014 17:48 - United States - Salem

Today, a girl puked on me. No warnings, nothing. She just threw up on me, then walked off like nothing even happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 053

You deserved it 3 146

By h0308 - 08/09/2009 09:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I got to work feeling slightly unwell. A couple of hours later, an extremely attractive customer came to my till, at which point my body decided it would be a good idea to vomit last night's dinner all over myself and the customer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 710

You deserved it 4 611

By Anonymous - 16/08/2010 20:20 - United States

Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 922

You deserved it 6 674

Office Space 2: Electric Boogaloo

By Jesstanothergurl - 18/07/2016 19:35 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I had to visit a new office building for a meeting. Halfway through the meeting, I got really nauseous and needed to throw up. I ran to find a bathroom, but got lost and ended up in a printing room. With no other option, I was forced to puke into a large envelope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 660

You deserved it 896

Job satisfaction

By Mark - 06/01/2010 02:06 - United States

Today, I started my new job as a janitor at a store. The first thing that happened when I came in was another employee telling me that there was vomit in the restroom, and that I had to clean it up. Not only did I clean up vomit, I had to clean up the poop that made the kid puke in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 116

You deserved it 4 312

By Anonymous - 23/05/2019 16:00

Today, I was at my job as a dental assistant and I was told to take an X-ray of a woman's teeth. As soon as I put the foam piece into her mouth, she projectile-vomited all over me and the floor. I had just started my 5-hour shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 881

You deserved it 294

By alf - 27/10/2008 02:34 - France

Today, I kissed the girl I love for the first time. Her reaction? She vomited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 888

You deserved it 7 259

By Andy - 16/12/2009 20:43 - United States

Today, a mother and son were in my office. The kid wasn't feeling well and threw up. Mom covered his mouth with her hand, creating a vomit nozzle and covering me in puke. She yelled that I deserved to be sprayed on because I was not quick enough in getting a bucket for her son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 391

You deserved it 2 752

Get me out of here

By fraz206 - 18/03/2019 16:00

Today, after feeling sick all day at work, my shift was about to end. Twenty minutes before I was able to clock out, some kid puked all over herself in the playground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 999

You deserved it 174

Next

Top comments

Hellcrapdamn 0

Wednesday 12 August 2009 9:55

You sure have a way with the ladies!

teehee520 0

Wednesday 12 August 2009 9:09

Eww, definitely FYL.

Comments

jt_ski17 0

Monday 14 March 2011 16:30

Writing an fml isn't an art omg he was just telling the story from his perspective. Freaking fml critics get a life

TheAPPLESLAVE 4

Tuesday 16 August 2011 10:35

Pwned! Lol fyl

kimberly4 0

Sunday 25 December 2011 0:32

You say you were delivering mail as usual at work but it was also your first letter ever mailed. I don't understand

InsanishDanish 10

Thursday 10 May 2012 0:29

First letter of the day, not ever.

mowmowlife 21

Saturday 14 July 2012 8:43

I really wasn't expecting that FML to go where it did

tuckit 28

Sunday 22 June 2014 3:12

Ew, that's so gross.

Keywords

Coworkers Work Dogs Animals Cars Transportation Art Photography Miscellaneous Videos Love Awkward Health Scams My ex Money Sex Family AITA Am I overreacting? Healthy Lifestyle Babies Kids Sleep Mental health Parents Cheating Break-ups Facebook Nice Guys

The Top

Today, I followed my daughter and found out she wasn’t with friends, she was on a date. I confronted her about the lie, but she takes after her mother, a lawyer, and steamrollered over me about invading her privacy, so even though she lied, she somehow has the moral high ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 566

You deserved it 2 707

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head during the horror flick we were watching. Little did I know, my girlfriend isn't a big fan of horror films. It was during a sex scene that intensified the moment. The same sex scene from which emerged a sudden jump-scare. I now have bite marks on my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 865

You deserved it 62 130

The Top

Today, my mother admitted to me that she sends me up and down the stairs to get things for her because she thinks I could use the exercise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 345

You deserved it 5 400

Today, I'm exhausted and sore from a long night of pulling semis out of the snow. My wife is pissed because I want to sleep, instead of be with her. Every time I drift off, she starts doing things like loudly unloading the dishwasher or standing by our bedroom door talking loudly on the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 475

You deserved it 90

Today, my boyfriend of almost six years asked me to move in with him. I assumed he meant that he was finally moving out of his parents' house and had found a place for us to live. No, it turns out he means he wants me to move in with him at his parents' place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 898

You deserved it 5 897

Today, I was driving into work in my hubby’s truck. It’s his pride and joy. I managed to both get a flat tire and lock my keys inside the truck at a gas station, with my face mask also inside. Oh, and it’s 19 degrees. At least it’s sunny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 794

You deserved it 353

Today, I was having a romantic dinner at home with my girlfriend. Everything was perfect—candles, wine, the whole shebang. As we sat down, I felt something moving under the table. I thought it was her playing footsie. Nope, it was our cat with a very live, very tetchy mouse he'd just caught. Cue the screaming and wine spilling everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 104

Today, a little girl at work was coloring a picture that said "Best Dad" on it. Wanting to be nice I asked her if she was making it for her dad for father's day. She looked at me with a sad face and said, "I don't have a dad..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 952

You deserved it 6 874