Kids: Today, I was desperate to teach my 2-year old to use her potty....

By Overflow - 16/08/2009 21:05 - United States

Today, I was desperate to teach my 2-year old to use her potty. I had to pee, and thought maybe she would learn by watching me use it. Everything was going well, until I realized that I had a long pee. So long that it overfilled her potty all over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 256

You deserved it 63 137

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 10/02/2015 04:12 - United States

Today, in an attempt to potty train my 2-year-old, I sat her on the toilet and waited for several minutes. I finally gave up and lifted her off the toilet just in time for her to pee on my new shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 890

You deserved it 5 851

So pissed

By soaked - 25/02/2013 19:16 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I was babysitting, and I had to pee really, really badly. I couldn't figure out how to get the stupid toilet lock off, and ended up pissing myself. As I stood in the bathroom in tears, their child screamed, "No, no, pee-pee in the POTTY!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 563

You deserved it 9 078

Well done sweetie

By Mommy - 29/09/2010 22:47 - United States

Today, my daughter watched a potty training video on Sesame Street. In the middle of the video, she got up and ran to her potty to practice. She then announced, "All done!", and proudly closed the lid to her potty. She then immediately stood on top of it and peed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 506

You deserved it 3 676

By fired - 13/05/2012 06:26 - United States - Portland

Today, I really had to pee while babysitting. Normally this isn't a problem, except the kids were sleeping and going potty would wake them up right before their parents were due home. Desperate, I decided to pee in a cup in the kitchen and wash it down the sink. Their parents came home mid-stream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 669

You deserved it 47 001

By subtweetqueen - 09/09/2016 04:18 - United States - Santa Clarita

Today, the 3-year-old I nanny wanted to prove to me that he was tall enough to pee standing up in front of the toilet. When he realized he actually was tall enough, he got excited and misdirected his stream, covering himself, his brother, and me in urine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 524

You deserved it 1 234

By Disgruntled - 16/03/2016 12:01 - United States - East Lansing

Today, my 2-year-old daughter started showing signs of understanding the potty training concept. She announced to my mother-in-law that she needed to go potty, only to be flatly told, "No, you don't." So she crapped herself. Now it's going to take forever to train her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 149

You deserved it 1 299

Training day

By Anonymous - 09/11/2011 21:52 - United States

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 534

You deserved it 24 653

Potty drama

By NeverEndingBathtime_ - 03/08/2017 20:00

Today, my two year-old is being potty trained. He got the gist of it and actually did #1 and #2 in the potty and after our little celebratory dance, I went to get him a cookie (which took me two seconds). I come back to see him covered in shit and pee because he tried to go empty the potty himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 748

You deserved it 1 093

By peepants - 04/06/2019 14:00

Today, I was in a public restroom with my one-year old. I had no idea he could reach the lock until he opened the door and ran out. In my haste to catch him, I not only peed all over my pants that were still around my ankles, I faceplanted on the nasty, moist bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 222

You deserved it 334

Sprinkler system

By missed - 25/06/2021 14:01 - United States

Today, I was using a mall bathroom. Thinking the toilet seat had to be unsanitary, I decided to squat. I was a little farther out than I thought, and ended up peeing all over the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 1 392

banana2022 4

Monday 17 August 2009 1:49

You didn't think to show her by peeing in a big kids' toilet? YDI for that genius idea.

outofmyelement 0

Monday 17 August 2009 1:53

eww, you used a toddler potty? you couldnt just use a toilet?

Comments

sk8erboy_fml 0

Monday 17 August 2009 8:38

oh man wtf? thats the wierdest way to teach ur daughter to use her potty!

crackberrie 0

Monday 17 August 2009 8:42

ok seriously.. desperate to teach a TWO year old to potty train? wtf? isn't a two year old only meant to start potty training? this isn't an fml. that was just stupid thinking on your part

PaulieeBooMN 0

Monday 17 August 2009 9:09

YDI for having a kid not able to pee on the toilet all 3 of my kids learned on their own by 6 months

bobleheadNS 0

Monday 17 August 2009 9:37

wow ur a fuking idiot. r u sure ur kids rnt like 6 YEARS old?

pyros09 0

Monday 17 August 2009 9:49

Ohhhhhhh ok you mean the age where they can't even walk....and they taught themselves did they?....Intersting. So if they learnt at 6 months, would you say that you're 5 years old?

thequickredofox 0

Monday 17 August 2009 11:47

Seeeeeeeeee! There IS always one person who's child was toilet trained at birth and is a mensa genius blah, blah, blah! What #106 is referring to is known as "toilet timing" and all it means is that the kids train YOU to know when they need to pee and you hold them over the toilet. But hey, pass a gold star to #106 for being the Uber Parent of clearly gifted children *pfft*

PaulieeBooMN 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 1:40

they taught they're selves cuz I wouldn't let them come back inside until they learned how the one we taught in the winter learned real quick (I live in Minnesota)

xoerica9 0

Tuesday 18 August 2009 4:41

So you used child abuse to train your children? Someone's not gonna be winning parent of the year anytime soon...

PaulieeBooMN 0

Wednesday 19 August 2009 22:12

yeah but I'm gonna be wining the potty training award three years in a row

onmyway_fml 0

Monday 17 August 2009 9:11

Lol,haha, you make me laugh alot!

TheGasMaskGuy 0

Monday 17 August 2009 9:22

Why do you talk like you are 2?

bobleheadNS 0

Monday 17 August 2009 9:36

YDI. for even thinking of doing that and go see a doc. if ur bladder is that fuking big O.O

ohnomama 0

Monday 17 August 2009 11:04

...I now have a sick compulsion to go drink a ton of water and then dig my sons potty chair out of the garage and pee in it to see if it overfills... Also, everyone who is sickened by the fact that she peed infront of her daughter...wait till you have kids. Then try and and use the bathroom by yourself. You can't get them OUT of there.

thequickredofox 0

Monday 17 August 2009 12:07

ohnomama FTW! .... mainly because you have "spoken" what I was thinking *lol*

valuemeal2 1

Monday 17 August 2009 12:09

Okay, YDI for peeing in the little potty. I've been a nanny, and I've potty-trained children (some of whom were younger than 2, to all you idiots who are saying 2 is too early to learn-- it's the average age), but never have I used the tiny kid potty myself. WTF were you thinking? How did you even fit? It will work just fine if you sit on the real toilet and have the kid sit on the little potty and pee at the same time. Good luck with potty training, though.