Miscellaneous: Today, I was drinking in the park with my friends. Being drunk,...

By Anonymous - 29/09/2009 06:47 - United States

Today, I was drinking in the park with my friends. Being drunk, I relieved myself on a nearby tree. Unknown to me, a 4 year old was having her birthday party 100 yards away. I was arrested for public intoxication and exposing myself to a minor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 928

You deserved it 73 789

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
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Same thing different taste

By whatislife1969 - 08/10/2017 04:30

Today, my work had an employee party at the park and I drank a little too much vodka. Towards the end of the party, I found myself making out with a tree in front of all my co-workers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 425

You deserved it 4 852

By Chase - 15/05/2017 18:00

Today, I turned 21 and had a huge party because I could finally drink legally. Got arrested for public intoxication. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 335

You deserved it 6 411

By meeks123 - 20/06/2012 05:03 - Australia - Queanbeyan

Today, I was arrested for drinking in public. It was my friend who was drinking; I was taking the alcohol from her so she wouldn't be arrested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 007

You deserved it 5 332

Busted!

By angela - 09/04/2020 23:00

Today, I went to a party. Although I wasn't drinking, I was still afraid the cops would bust me. Halfway through the party, the cops showed up. I tried to hop a fence, ripping my pants and cutting my leg in the meantime. It wasn't until was on the ground that I found out there was a gate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 2 106

By Noj12345 - 25/06/2009 08:05 - United States

Today, after finishing work, my friend was having a party next door and my driveway was blocked. I parked 6 houses down and went to the party for 20mins. After coming out after 3 beers, I went to move my car back to my house and go to sleep. I got a DUI for driving 30 feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 293

You deserved it 57 195

Childfree confirmation ceremony

By Kathya Wilson - 01/08/2022 10:00

Today, I hung out with a friend who doesn’t have any kids. We went to the park, where my three year-old son decided to drop his drawers and shit next to a tree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 775

You deserved it 309

By Unluggee - 04/06/2009 10:38 - United Kingdom

Today, at a party, my three friends and I thought it would be fun to urinate in a jug. We dislike the neighbours, so decided to throw the contents of the jug over the fence into their garden. It hit a tree and splashed back. I ended up covered in our piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 960

You deserved it 188 764

By gingerbread - 18/12/2017 18:00 - Armenia - Yerevan

Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 990

You deserved it 3 710

By AmberHavoc - 02/01/2013 15:01 - United Kingdom

Today, I got so drunk that I decided it was a good idea to get naked and jump on a trampoline in the back of a neighbour’s garden. Said neighbour is a police officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 998

You deserved it 46 801

Worst party ever

By Dumbass - 10/01/2019 12:00

Today, I got too drunk at a party and cracked a tooth from opening a beer bottle with my teeth, farted something nasty in a room alone with someone, tried to climb a tree and fell out, and watched my crush make out with his new girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 887

You deserved it 4 037

skullfuckery 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 16:15

Are you 13 or something? Drinking in a park, really?

powersmoke 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 16:12

YDI. Drink at home.

Comments

foobarbaz 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 19:22

You're an idiot. I hope you die very soon.

kremit 1

Tuesday 29 September 2009 19:27

Parks are like giant homeless shelters you must be a very distinguishing hobo for a police officer to spot you, unless he/she caught you in the act... in which case LOL

LewJH 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 19:29

Yeh. For all the people saying he's deserved it for drinking in broad daylight in a public place, I'm pretty sure most people have done it. I have, several times.

teentee401 36

Sunday 22 March 2015 15:57

Oh, so because you've done it several times that HAS to mean that most people have done it. You and the OP both need help.

FoundManyLemons 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 19:29

If you're that drunk that early, YDI.

quaggledoo 0

Tuesday 29 September 2009 19:35

Enjoy being labeled a sex offender for the rest of your life. Of all the FMLs I've seen, I've never seen one that will literally ruin someone's life. Until now...