Kids: Today, I was driving when a guy in a truck swerved in front of...

By Mommy - 26/06/2011 20:47 - United States

Today, I was driving when a guy in a truck swerved in front of me. I didn't realize I'd sworn until I'd come to a red light and my one year old daughter yelled her own version of what I said. She now yells "Chicken in the hole!" whenever the car comes to a stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 473

You deserved it 28 194

Summer: Sun, Sea and Blunders
Summer anecdotes where the sun shines... and blunders are never far away! More…

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Same thing different taste

By John - 22/08/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, I took my 15 year old daughter driving. I yelled at her for not going safely around corners. On the way home, while demonstrating how to drive right, I went around a corner and hit a cement truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 370

You deserved it 57 961

AITA?

By Kathryn - 13/08/2011 10:31 - Belgium

Today, I was driving my twin daughters to school, when I accidentally honked my horn. I told them it was an accident, then one of my kids said she already knew, because I didn't yell "ASSHOLE!" afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 402

You deserved it 41 165

By Anonymous - 15/07/2013 03:40 - United States - Odenton

Today, I was teaching my daughter how to drive. We were passing by a merge lane; I told her to slow down and let a green car merge in front of us. She said, "Fuck the green car" and sped up, colliding with it. Apparently she didn't know that would happen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 990

You deserved it 7 186

The Thin White Duke

By DJ Clitter - 16/04/2012 19:35 - United States

Today, I was in the car with my daughter when I narrowly missed hitting a car after running a stop sign. After she screamed at me and demanded to know what I was doing, I had to admit that I'd been daydreaming about David Bowie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 103

You deserved it 33 566

Denial

By Anonymous - 19/05/2009 06:19 - United States

Today, I was driving in my very own car that I bought and paid for myself, when I stopped at a stop light. Then I noticed the truck in front of me turn on his reverse lights. I honked desperately. He hits me, looks out the window and says, "I see no damage" and drives away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 452

You deserved it 3 749

By Anonymous - 15/11/2014 15:23 - Australia

Today, while driving to my daughter's wedding, the person behind us kept laying on her horn and yelling every time I stopped for a red light. That person was my wife. Sadly I'm too whipped to stand up to her and spent the whole drive pretending not to hear my passengers snickering at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 395

You deserved it 8 499

By Anonymous - 27/06/2014 20:22 - Spain - Valencia

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 295

You deserved it 9 384

By k…… - 09/06/2012 21:35 - United Kingdom - Telford

Today, while driving home from work, I noticed the driver next to me was happily chatting on her phone. I fucking despise these would-be murderers, so I slammed my horn to signal my disgust. She panicked and swerved straight into my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 557

You deserved it 64 559

By Tom Ali - 10/01/2012 20:50 - United States

Today, while driving to my girlfriend's house, I passed up a stop sign without stopping. A car passing by honked. I honked back several times and flipped them the finger. Turns out it was my girlfriend's dad trying to say hi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 211

You deserved it 65 134

Before you get mad…

By Anonyme - 05/12/2018 03:30 - United States - Pleasant Hill

Today, my wife came home and said, "Before you go into the garage, let me tell you what happened…" She was stopped at a traffic light and when it turned green, she stepped on the gas, but the truck in front of her didn't. The grill was smashed and the car has a 3-inch hole in the bumper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 575

You deserved it 248

JustinThunder 8

Monday 27 June 2011 0:34

******' Asshole?

rebekahah 7

Monday 27 June 2011 4:36

77- you misspelled *smart. Ironic?

Comments

sam_ash 3

Monday 27 June 2011 0:40

Probably "******' asshole?"

iAmScrubs 19

Monday 27 June 2011 0:42

Chicken in the hole's these days. When will they learn?

princessjazz 0

Monday 27 June 2011 0:45

que?

saIty 17

Monday 27 June 2011 0:45

Suck my **** in the anus.

pamelax3 6

Monday 27 June 2011 0:47

That made no sense whatsoever.

GuidoCheese 0

Monday 27 June 2011 0:45

Parents like you make me sick! Chicken in the holes.... gosh.

supermankisses 1

Monday 27 June 2011 0:51

It happens, and I'm sure the kid will grow up just fine.

BigBrownEyes675 0

Monday 27 June 2011 2:11

Your one to talk when your smoking a cigerette in your profile pic! Imagation when you have kids. when you smoke around them , that's sending them a message that it's alright and that if you get to do it, one day they will too

hansenisabelle 0

Monday 27 June 2011 2:36

I'm pretty sure he was joking

bjulie1998 5

Monday 27 June 2011 2:57

He was being sarcastic. Psh...people these days (that was sarcasm too).

bennetts211 2

Monday 27 June 2011 3:02

Hey, 63, could you tell me what "imagation" means? And also [while I do NOT support smoking, by any means] people believing that smoking's okay, and doing it when they're above the age limit is perfectly legal and okay. That's their choice, not yours.

nerdfighteria 7

Monday 27 June 2011 3:10

Is that what you're worried about? If you smoked around your kids, you'd basically be killing them with the secondhand smoke. Anyway, the guy was kidding.

geeksaresexy 18

Monday 27 June 2011 11:33

Even if you don't smoke around your kids (if you go outside etc) they still know what you're doing. It's widely accepted that children are more likely to smoke if one of their parents smoke. Kids copy their parents whether it's smoking, swearing, eating habits or dress sense. They WILL mimic you! #18 was clearly joking though..

cheer4ever96 8

Monday 27 June 2011 0:47

at least she's not saying why you really said. :P

shali14 0

Monday 27 June 2011 0:57

well watch what Yu say around Yur child!

Pokadotshorts 0

Monday 27 June 2011 1:38

You should learn to spell.

bennetts211 2

Monday 27 June 2011 3:05

"Yu" couldn't be ******* bothered to type two o's, but "yu" could hold the shift key, twice? "Yu" must think "yur" so cool!

geeksaresexy 18

Monday 27 June 2011 11:37

Even worse, I bet they used caps lock not shift...

TacoDog 0

Monday 27 June 2011 0:59

Wash her mouth out, there is no need for that kind of smut!

ThorneCrossed 9

Monday 27 June 2011 1:10

**** shit ass bitch **** shoobidy doo whop

ProudTexan117 0

Monday 27 June 2011 1:22

skippidy beebop, uh Christopher reeves, sonny Bono, skis, horses, and hittin some trees.

ThorneCrossed 9

Monday 27 June 2011 1:36

glad someone caught that haha

chiddy_bang71 0

Monday 27 June 2011 1:44

Ahh 41 beat me there!

BigBrownEyes675 0

Monday 27 June 2011 2:15

**** Shit Pussy Ass Mother ******' Damn Bitch. words curtsy of Insane Clown Posse!

pimpadelic12 4

Monday 27 June 2011 3:02

hell yea ICP  please dont hate me is the best;)

chiddy_bang71 0

Monday 27 June 2011 3:37

eminem>insane clown posse

TacoDog 0

Monday 27 June 2011 14:31

Please remove your jiggalo behavior from my comment.

chiddy_bang71 0

Monday 27 June 2011 14:48

I havnt heard any recent icp so I don't know about now, but the new eminem isnt great. however, em was a better mc than shaggy and violent when he was in his prime. hands down.