Sex and Intimacy: Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first...

By illequipt - 16/03/2009 03:20 - Canada

Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my cock over my jeans and said, "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204 551

You deserved it 32 061

Summer vacations: Sun and blunders
From beaches to campsites, embark on a journey filled with laughter under the sun... and a few sunburns! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 24/04/2013 18:56 - United States - Huntington Park

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 459

You deserved it 9 861

By Photagrapher - 18/08/2010 04:09 - France

Today, my girlfriend asked for a picture of my penis, so I sent her one. Then later on, she asked for one when I was hard, the first one I sent I was hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 606

You deserved it 17 783

By arctic1 - 27/05/2009 09:45 - United States

Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 323

You deserved it 68 689

By Eddie - 07/08/2011 19:43 - Israel

Today, I took my clothes off in front of my girlfriend for the first time. She made a weird face for a moment, then burst into laughter. She couldn't stop laughing, no matter how hard she tried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 898

You deserved it 4 923

By Anonymous - 12/08/2015 02:23 - Israel - Tel Aviv

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, I pushed all the way in. She said, "Stop teasing me, put everything in." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 289

You deserved it 4 520

By fruitoftheloom - 09/03/2015 05:13 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, my girlfriend took off my pants for the first time. She was more impressed by the pattern on my boxers than by my cock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 960

You deserved it 7 322

By tigerbyrn - 30/05/2016 15:35 - Canada - Scarborough

Today, as I was about to meet my girlfriend's parents, she thought it would be funny to grab my junk and give me a hard-on right before they walked in. I couldn't hide it quickly enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 062

You deserved it 2 094

Like a virgin

By chchboy - 22/05/2012 05:05 - United States

Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 148

You deserved it 7 121

Bazinga

By Anonymous - 20/03/2009 15:07 - United States

Today, I had my girlfriend over and we were hugging when she put her feet on my feet. We started walking around like that and I said, "This is hard to maintain." She replied with "So's your erection." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 686

You deserved it 17 081

By herve - 22/05/2009 19:50 - Lebanon

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 016

You deserved it 11 617

jackaaa 0

Monday 16 March 2009 12:02

Aww baby penis.

Puolukka 4

Monday 16 March 2009 12:23

Maybe it was the first time for her to fool around with a guy like that period and she just didn't know what it's supposed to feel like/what it feels like when it's not hard?! She obviously has never touched a penis before...because even if it was pretty small you can still tell if the guy is hard or not... o.O

Comments

Kingrayer 0

Monday 16 March 2009 20:50

i guess u better get her to stay with you some other way

jayfx 0

Monday 16 March 2009 20:56

Not that hard to tell through jeans. LOL @ 36

wont_stop 0

Monday 16 March 2009 21:52

lmfao at # 22. don't worry about it. that's a bitchy thing to say regardless.

CinnamonSpider 0

Monday 16 March 2009 23:19

LOL@ 17, great quote. @OP: Yeah, I'm gonna go with what everyone else said and guess that your jeans were hiding it, and that your girlfriend sounds kinda dumb...still sucks though.

maremaid 0

Monday 16 March 2009 23:22

oh damn.

justing_fml 0

Monday 16 March 2009 23:50

@19, you're totally right. Boxer breifs are so constricting. I wear them and I def don't have a small package but sometimes it seems like it. But jeans don't hide it either way.

lolol182 4

Monday 16 March 2009 23:54

ahah nice small dick

bearbear123 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 0:34

CHODE CHODE CHODE CHODE CHODE CHODE CHODE CHODE CHODE CHODE CHODE CHODE CHODE CHODE CHODE CHODE CHODE CHODE CHODE CHODE CHODE CHODE CHODE CHODE CHODE CHODE CHODE CHODE CHODE CHODE CHODE CHODE