By fruitoftheloom - 09/03/2015 05:13 - United States - Scottsdale

Spicy
Today, my girlfriend took off my pants for the first time. She was more impressed by the pattern on my boxers than by my cock. FML
I agree, your life sucks 37 966
You deserved it 7 323
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Top comments

1dvs_bstd 41

Was it shiny? Girls, like fish are attracted to shiny things. -Barney Stinson.

327 12
Mightyrif 23

Paint your **** with the same pattern. Bet that'll impress her!

290 4

Comments

nickob96 25

Did she play with it? If she played with your dick in the end who gives a shit if she liked your boxers better

201 5
Nickb55 16

This seemed a little crude. I'm ashamed to be a fellow NickB.

11 88
JazzHandsFML 28

who said anything about dick? I'm just curious why chicken is in op's boxers.

90 7
octinate 17

Impressed by a pattern? She sounds like an old lady

1 40
Retaheki 27

Sr, he's not a nickb, he's a nickob. There's a difference.

18 1
nickob96 25

#4 How is this rude???? If she took the snake out of the cage and played with it does it really madder if she's rude about anything?

4 4
incoherentrmblr 21

It maTTers...

6 2
rainbotato 14

Maybe you should buy less interesting underwear.

119 6
kitsy 14

If he does that, his girlfriend won't be impressed by anything at all

122 0
Mightyrif 23

Or wear a condom with an extravagant pattern!

67 1
Eyeslick 33

Or maybe he could get a pattern tattooed on?

23 5
1dvs_bstd 41

Was it shiny? Girls, like fish are attracted to shiny things. -Barney Stinson.

327 12
Steve95401 49

She was attracted by my boxers and that, kids, is how your mother became your mother.

46 0
1dvs_bstd 41

It's Starney Binson, so they never saw her again.

28 1
Mightyrif 23

Paint your **** with the same pattern. Bet that'll impress her!

290 4
jerryj 27

Better yet, tatoo your **** with an optical illusion pattern.

15 3
mikepzz 27

I'm just going to paint mine black and see what happens.. :0

5 1
Stillo 25

Please tell me that you wore batman boxers!!' :D

50 4
Miss_Whipped 43

I've got a good story about exactly this.

12 3
onlychildFTW 33

Batman boxers? Lame. Batman briefs are where it's at! :D

2 1
openminded8 17

you should take that as "lesson learned" minimize the wrapping, to maximize the package

55 1
earljonez 22

Your profile pic suits your comment.

28 0
ma12r 22

Damn OP. Maybe try boxer briefs? Or maybe a dull pattern? Gotta make her want the package not the packaging

5 14
mrmcleod 29

I guess once you've seen one **** you've seen them all. I wouldn't read much into it.

56 3
iAlissa 34

I can honestly say this is true. They all look the same. Men shouldn't be too offended if women don't take a massive amount of interest in it.

31 1
mrmcleod 29

Exactly. I would be willing to bet that OP probably didn't take massive interest in his girlfriend's genitalia. Kinda last thing on my mind when it comes to sex, I'm more interested in the act itself and acts leading up to it, rather than all the component parts.

26 1
iAlissa 34

"Whoopie, party-parts. Let's make out."

6 1
rivaraven 35

What did you expect? For her to be amazed for an hour, because you have a penis? It's nothing special, really.

70 4
weveallbeenthere 30

in the end, hopefully she still played with your **** rather than stare at your boxers.

16 1