Intimacy: Today, I was getting ready for bed, when I decided to watch some...

By Anonymous - 24/04/2009 20:21 - Canada

Today, I was getting ready for bed, when I decided to watch some porno on the computer. Suddenly someone from my messenger list says, "You might want to turn off the 'What You're Listening To' option if you're watching porn." I snapped and exited the porn. 63 people saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 632

You deserved it 77 891

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Same thing different taste

Now watching

By Anonymous - 14/01/2011 23:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 785

You deserved it 32 358

Caught in 1080p

By wtf - 16/05/2014 22:25 - Australia - Narangba

Today, I started watching porn in my room with the volume muted. A minute later, my dad knocked on the door, so I closed everything and called him in. He just said, "Son, you disgust me." and walked out. Now I'm too paranoid to use my own computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 639

You deserved it 15 000

By wowthatwould - 04/12/2011 21:39 - United States

Today, I was watching porn when I heard my mom call for me. I closed my laptop right as she walked in my room. The sound, however, kept going. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 408

You deserved it 46 711

By Anonymous - 24/11/2015 13:17 - United States - Westborough

Today, I was jerking off quietly so my roommates wouldn't hear me. In the middle of it, one of them sent me a screenshot of an error message on a porn site, asking if I was having the same problem. I guess I wasn't being so quiet after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 322

You deserved it 6 920

Awkward

By Anonymous - 22/10/2011 23:26 - United States

Today, my mother came into my room and had a thirty minute long conversation with me. She kept looking very nervous and uncomfortable. Only after she left did I realize that a porn site was open on my computer screen. The entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 275

You deserved it 51 656

By lunarboy - 17/02/2009 00:24 - United States

Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 704

You deserved it 68 953

By retard99 - 21/03/2010 04:04 - Canada

Today, I was chatting with my girlfriend on MSN. I screen-copied my desktop to show her the conversation I was having with my best friend. Minutes later she replied asking why I had a porn site opened on the other tab. Oops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 339

You deserved it 53 367

By Anonymous - 28/01/2011 19:59 - United Kingdom

Today, I got home from working late and decided to write a cute email to my girlfriend since I haven't seen her in two weeks. I was about to finish it off when my door swung open, and in a panic, I opened another tab to hide my email. It was porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 809

You deserved it 43 601

By Nigel - 13/07/2015 21:15 - United States

Today, most of my family was out of the house, so I took the opportunity to go to the bathroom and browse some porn. Five minutes later my sister comes and asks me to disconnect from bluetooth and that my "dinosaur noises" were blocking her and her friend's music. I'm currently hiding in shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 471

You deserved it 13 422

Listen up

By Ryan - 01/09/2022 21:00 - Canada - Quesnel

Today, after getting off the phone with a client, I got horny so I put on some porn and cranked one out. After I'd finished, I realized I hadn't ended the call and neither had my client. They heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 268

You deserved it 2 037

ohhboyy 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 2:17

that would've been great if 69 ppl saw.. haw

trixr4kids 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 2:14

HAHAHA dumbass

Comments

lazydeviant 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 10:38

Lol, no need to unplug, just don't do something stupid. If your like most people... it would say... "**** is watching X-Men Legends, Wolverine" Haha!

Amos_fml 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 10:52

#70, #69 is right. When you watch a vid or listen to a song on Itunes f.e, it shows on the "what you're listening to" thingy.

a1m2a3d4o5 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 12:36

shit if video's also work on " show what im listening to" then im screwed

Dhamy 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 13:13

Lmao! That's happened to so many people,though. Whatever, everyone watches ****.

CaptainJellyBean 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 13:13

It actually does happen. I can vouch for him. I've seen it happen at least twice with my very own eyes.

Thrillhouse 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 14:07

Number 70 is an idiot. Video files show up too. This has happened to people on my messenger.

xHaniffax 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 14:41

#69: "roflmao, #69 = a bullshitter" You just called yourself a bullshitter :

lifreisgreat 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 14:52

I agree with #36! :)

PieGuy 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 16:05

everybody watches **** dude dont worry about it. just lear to laugh about it when ppl make snide remarks

hardcore_fml 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 18:50

You deserve if you have ever visited this site. This isn't the first time this same scenario was on here. I doubt even the second.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family Cats DIY Awkward Management Poopoo peepee Work Am I overreacting? Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Frustration ADHD Dogs Animals Transportation Dating Love Health Anxiety Technology Mental health Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy Confused AITA Parents

The Top

Today, someone burgled my hotel room. As always, I had locked my passport, extra cash, and other valuables in the closet safe, so I thought the losses would be superficial. What a discovery that the safe hadn't been fastened to the closet shelf, so the thief just picked it up and took it home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 083

You deserved it 3 096

Today, my boss is going nuts after some coworkers quit, as they were some of the lucky few with enough cash to move away ahead of whatever dumbass plan the next administration has for their immigrant families and friends. My boss is complaining he can't afford to pay "normal people wages" and wants me to work overtime. FML

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 166

The Top

Today, I discovered that when my professor had said "For every A there will be an F," he was deadly serious. I earned a 94% mark, which in this class is known as a D. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 885

You deserved it 2 160

Today, my brother offered my boyfriend $50 to dump me. Guess who's single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 170

You deserved it 3 189

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me over the phone, after having left me to look after her dog while she went on a 2-week vacation with her family. Now I have to choose between paying for a kennel for her damn dog or taking care of it every day until she gets back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 167

You deserved it 2 448

Today, I lied to the treadmill about my weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 778

You deserved it 35 273

Today, I learned how hard it is to remove peanut butter from your own eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 035

You deserved it 24 192

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He's Latino, so I thought he'd like it if I made a bit of noise and called him "papi" while we did it. It freaked him out enough to kill his boner, and now he thinks I have some kind of incest fetish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 600

You deserved it 46 411