Intimacy: Today, I was getting to second base with a really hot guy, but...

By weirdthingtosay - 21/11/2014 09:56 - United States - Kalama

Today, I was getting to second base with a really hot guy, but I couldn't stop laughing when he said my boobs were "soft like cake." He got so embarrassed that he lost his boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 914

You deserved it 11 914

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Same thing different taste

By princess - 12/04/2014 21:01 - United States - San Marcos

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky, and I whispered that I love him. He immediately lost his boner, and a few minutes later "remembered" he had to be somewhere else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 588

You deserved it 7 162

By MulticoloredSlug - 13/10/2016 10:57 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 433

You deserved it 1 416

By Anonymous - 17/11/2011 14:06 - United States

Today, I was doing the reverse cowgirl with my boyfriend. I was on the way to a glorious finish when he pointed out that I had a pimple on my butt. He began to laugh so hard that he went soft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 704

You deserved it 6 087

Smooth talker

By ugh - 31/01/2012 00:25 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 969

You deserved it 5 604

The big reveal

By victoriassecret - 03/03/2010 09:24 - United States

Today, I finally felt ready to take my bra off during sex. My breasts had "deflated" somewhat due to weight loss and I was really self-conscious about them, but my boyfriend insisted I was hot no matter what. When the bra came off, the dick got soft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 692

You deserved it 4 145

WTF dude?

By Bug5992 - 09/12/2012 22:46 - United States - Kent

Today, I was getting intimate with my current booty-call when he thought it would be funny to make animal sounds. He "baa-ed", "moo-ed", and "gobbled" until losing his erection from intense laughter, leaving me there very confused and unsatisfied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 881

You deserved it 10 324

Giggle loop

By Anonymous - 18/03/2010 10:39 - United States

Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 323

You deserved it 38 286

By Anonymous - 24/04/2013 18:56 - United States - Huntington Park

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 466

You deserved it 9 862

Squelching the night away

By alison - 04/07/2015 05:02 - United States

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 035

You deserved it 4 955

By Anonymous - 27/04/2013 04:11 - United States

Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 660

You deserved it 15 429

horneyhic 15

Friday 21 November 2014 15:49

So "help" him get it back

TanzWolf 26

Friday 21 November 2014 15:51

Better then most girls, others would have posted an FML saying "Today, a really hot guy I was getting to second base with said my boobs were "soft like cake". FML"

Comments

GnaR_KiLL5150 12

Friday 21 November 2014 17:20

**** his life is more like it...

dcats 13

Friday 21 November 2014 17:39

Give him a desert fork then

topher5110 7

Friday 21 November 2014 17:45

what does that even mean?

amused4u 7

Friday 21 November 2014 18:06

lol I had an ex boyfriend who said "feed me mommy " while playing with my breast lol so your not alone

DBKT 25

Friday 21 November 2014 19:07

That is just so wrong!!

lulinator 40

Friday 21 November 2014 19:19

I'm glad that says "ex."

battlehamster 8

Friday 21 November 2014 18:18

Wait.. Aren't you already at second base and he's just arriving?

5secondsoffuck 4

Friday 21 November 2014 18:23

I'm sorry this is the funniest thing I've read on FML ??

Setareh23 34

Friday 21 November 2014 19:06

Aw, poor guy probably feels really self-conscious now. I feel bad for him! Be nice about it, and hopefully you two can work it out and continue where you left off :3