Health: Today, I was given a powerful laxative to clear me out. I can't...

By Anonymous - 16/04/2013 23:13 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was given a powerful laxative to clear me out. I can't go to the bathroom because the four guests of my sleeping roommate are all sitting in dead silence against the paper-thin bathroom wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 529

You deserved it 4 032

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Same thing different taste

By shatMyself - 22/04/2013 19:10 - United States

Today, I was admitted to the hospital for chronic constipation. I have to share a room with two other girls who are also having bowel problems. We're all on strong laxatives, and there's apparently only one bathroom in this place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 478

You deserved it 3 422

Phantom pooper

By Anonymous - 12/11/2020 17:02 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, all of my roommates were home. I really had to poop all day but the bathroom was being hogged. Once I finally got the chance to go, I guess the toilet didn't flush all the way and I didn't notice. The other roommates loudly asked each other who it was, and they all started loudly taking about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 707

You deserved it 426

By avoid the sour cream - 30/12/2012 06:14 - United States

Today, I'm sharing a hotel room with co-workers on a business trip. The walls are paper-thin, you could hear a pin drop, and I'm trying to make my explosive diarrhea as close to silent as possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 695

You deserved it 2 839

Mess incoming

By Anonymous - 14/10/2019 16:00

Today, my apartment management notified me that my water was going to be shut off all day so they could fix the plumbing. I took a laxative last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 732

You deserved it 169

Stuck

By Anonymous - 09/08/2022 10:00 - Australia

Today, I had to take a laxative for the first time. Instead of working gently overnight like it promised, I woke up at 3 a.m. to an unrelenting river of shit that made my legs numb on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 033

You deserved it 157

By Anonymous - 17/11/2009 20:05 - United States

Today, I was at home with slight constipation, so I took two laxatives. That's when my boyfriend called me, saying his parents are in town and want to have dinner tonight, this being the first time I've met them. I've already been on the toilet five times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 560

You deserved it 5 933

By Anonymous - 21/01/2015 04:29 - United States - Bentonville

Today, thinking he was being so hilarious, my friend slipped me enough laxatives to make a horse shit its intestines out. I haven't been able to move from the toilet for over an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 001

You deserved it 2 891

By shroooms - 28/07/2011 20:37 - Slovenia

Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 728

You deserved it 3 073

Cringe

By mikesok988 - 07/05/2009 07:40 - United States

Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 475

You deserved it 4 811

By pleasestop - 11/06/2011 08:48 - Australia

Today, I woke up with bowel problems which have been causing me to violently pass wind every couple of minutes. I have to spend the next two hours sitting an exam in dead silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 199

You deserved it 3 420

Selphis 20

Wednesday 17 April 2013 9:11

Just go... they'll stop listening soon enough ;-)

greenfishbait 19

Wednesday 17 April 2013 9:13

You have to do what you have to do!

Comments

Squirrel1256 15

Wednesday 17 April 2013 9:21

Maybe you should out on a movie. One with loud explosions that you can use to your advantage.

GrinchFu1 27

Wednesday 17 April 2013 9:27

Come on now! Pretend you're taking a shower and turn some music on. Maybe light a scented candle while you're showering... and for God's sake, open a window while you're in there. Problem solved!!!

Wizardo 33

Wednesday 17 April 2013 9:28

And they'll still be sitting in silence while you drop a fat deuce, don't worry about everyone does.

Zebediabolical 39

Wednesday 17 April 2013 9:35

It's your place, not theirs. Just go drop the deuce. As soon as they figure out what's up they'll turn on something loud to drown you out. Unless one of them is very attractive and of your preferred gender. Then go down the street and use the can at a gas station or something.

jackiemora 18

Wednesday 17 April 2013 9:41

Run the tub water, sink water, anything to drown out the sound!

mackdeezy 22

Wednesday 17 April 2013 10:07

You live there.... they don't. Do your business.

DDCA 24

Wednesday 17 April 2013 10:11

You totally deserve for being bashful. When you gotta go, you gotta go!

SlapAndTickle 20

Wednesday 17 April 2013 10:17

Everyone poops. Just go. Be loud, be proud.

zingline89 18

Wednesday 17 April 2013 10:18

Love the comment, but just a heads up you spelled genius wrong in your profile...

babeababe 16

Wednesday 17 April 2013 10:20

Just put on some loud music while you're going and turn on the shower. They'll just think you're showering. And plus, who cares. If you don't know them well, it's not like you'll be seeing them often. And if they're friends then they'll understand.