Intimacy: Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time....

By valerie - 28/05/2011 01:04 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 044

You deserved it 18 790

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Same thing different taste

Frustrated wank

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 19:00

Today, I gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. Apparently, I was so bad at it that he eventually just slapped my hand away and angrily said he'd do it himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 561

You deserved it 305

By anonymous - 02/11/2015 03:13 - United States - San Francisco

Today, was the first time giving head to my boyfriend. He couldn't finish, so I tried a handjob. In the end he kind of pushed my hand away so he could finish himself off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 314

You deserved it 7 527

By sucks at sucking - 15/12/2012 00:27 - United Kingdom - Bournemouth

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 885

You deserved it 9 239

By Highnapple - 04/03/2015 07:55 - Canada - Sarnia

Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 133

You deserved it 4 527

By Anonymous - 03/07/2013 16:25 - United States - Iowa City

Today, I was on a movie date with my boyfriend, when he asked for a handjob. I thought I was doing well until he sighed, took my hand off, and said he could finish on his own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 717

You deserved it 18 644

Waste

By Annie - 31/08/2011 03:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 819

You deserved it 5 301

By soisblueballsdickhead - 26/10/2014 14:25 - United States

Today, I finally felt ready to give my boyfriend a blowjob. Barely 20 seconds in, he said: "I'll be honest, this is TERRIBLE." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 042

You deserved it 9 713

What is it?

By Anonymous - 06/08/2009 22:46 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 191

You deserved it 8 221

No gods, no masters

By anon - 31/07/2015 20:28 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 368

You deserved it 34 712

By Anonymous - 25/06/2015 03:55 - United States - San Francisco

Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 498

You deserved it 5 019

alex1432 9

Saturday 28 May 2011 5:54

Well try using more than just your hands??

lilbeast0327 3

Saturday 28 May 2011 5:54

wow u must really suck

Comments

SirWrangler 5

Saturday 28 May 2011 5:59

At least you tried...sorry OP:)

lilyisfly 0

Saturday 28 May 2011 21:11

what Does OP mean?

hazardoussmiles9 22

Sunday 29 May 2011 7:06

Otter Pronunciations

xCookieCrazedx 1

Monday 30 May 2011 9:25

It just means shes talking to the person who originally wrote the FML

MurphyS94 4

Saturday 28 May 2011 6:00

Lol... don't sweat it, pretty much everyone sucks the first time.

Rdawgg 0

Saturday 28 May 2011 9:15

pun intended lol

jannie22 0

Saturday 28 May 2011 19:36

not all the time XD

valleyshooter 8

Tuesday 31 May 2011 5:16

if it's not all the time your doing it wrong.

LinTurk 4

Saturday 28 May 2011 6:01

That really sucks.. and apparently you don't..

SluggerJ 7

Saturday 28 May 2011 7:16

lol #17

mmsdrummer51 3

Saturday 28 May 2011 6:02

practice makes perfect... ******** move on his part though

fthku 13

Saturday 28 May 2011 13:15

Funny how in an FML the exact same, only the roles were reversed, everyone yelled at the guy that he sucks, needs to please his woman better, and was mass "YDI'd". I just can't stand hypocrisy. OP, some people are just not natural sex-gods, but that doesn't mean they can't improve. If your boyfriend did not like what you were doing, but he kept silent and let you do it, it's *his* fault. You're supposed to communicate. If you communicate, trust me, the sex is much better. Why stay silent if you don't like it? you need to give positive criticism, because that's how relationships work- communication.

Jjustin 0

Saturday 28 May 2011 6:02

jeez put some tongue into it

speedgay 0

Saturday 28 May 2011 6:02

Nobody likes handjobs; if he wants a handy he will do it himself; add a little excitement to his life and do something more errotic next time....if there is a next time, because you obviously suck at sexual favors.

suprmidgt 0

Tuesday 31 May 2011 19:03

agreed. unless you are pulling out if lube and going for it. otherwise you are doing the one thing he can already do himself and you are wondering why you can't live up to his ability. you're being silly.