Intimacy: Today, I was giving my boyfriend oral sex when he pulled away...

By Junkrat - 08/12/2016 13:32

Today, I was giving my boyfriend oral sex when he pulled away without warning. As I looked up at him to see what was wrong, he screamed "JUSTICE RAINS FROM ABOVE!" and shot his load in my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 518

You deserved it 3 294

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Same thing different taste

The heat of the moment

By righthook - 08/04/2015 19:56 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 889

You deserved it 8 654

By eeewww - 21/11/2018 03:13

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and he ejaculated without warning, shooting straight up my nostril. I accidentally snorted it, started choking, and then coughed it up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 462

You deserved it 803

By Anonymous - 25/06/2015 03:55 - United States - San Francisco

Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 499

You deserved it 5 019

No nut will do that

By Anonymous - 02/05/2023 00:00

Today, my boyfriend wanted a blowjob, shortly after we've started dating. He said to be careful because he blows a massive load. Thinking he's full of crap, I rolled my eyes and got to work. Had him going and then a massive load shot down my throat and a bunch of fire hoses sprayed out my nose. It burned so bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 1 342

Squirting the night away

By svet - 22/02/2009 02:07 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob, which I don't normally do because I have a fear of getting hit in the eye. Afterwards, I went to suck a lemon to get the taste out of my mouth. Sure enough, I bit the wrong spot and had lemon juice shoot right into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 513

You deserved it 84 250

Wrong sort of poking

By Anonymous - 22/09/2013 05:40 - United States - Brandon

Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 194

You deserved it 9 739

By Anonymous - 16/03/2012 20:23 - Ireland

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 773

You deserved it 13 694

By abc123 - 16/12/2013 16:44 - United States - Marysville

Today, I was taking a shower with my boyfriend. While we were washing our hair, he got soap in his eyes and mouth. I was facing him, and since his eyes were closed he didn't realize how close I was. When he spat the soap out, it went straight into my eyes. Neither of us could see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 534

You deserved it 6 897

Observation

By Anonymous - 17/04/2009 05:43 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 756

You deserved it 8 003

By Anonymous - 07/11/2010 22:00 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when I lifted myself up a little bit. What I was not prepared for was my boyfriend leaning down to kiss my neck. We collided heads, hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 963

You deserved it 6 539

LyricaSilvan 29

Friday 9 December 2016 5:16

Not gonna lie; I'd be pissed if that happened to me, but the way you put it makes it sound so funny.

friedpwnadge 25

Friday 9 December 2016 5:14

Guess you didn't see it cumming until it was too late.

Comments

rhetoricalauthor 4

Friday 9 December 2016 20:18

"Stranger things" will do that to a man...

whydough 14

Friday 9 December 2016 20:48

Your bf is an absolute legend ?

D0minik 9

Friday 9 December 2016 20:50

So he hit the bullseye?

BigRed78 0

Friday 9 December 2016 21:18

Revenge of the nerds ****!

xbaconator9000x 16

Friday 9 December 2016 21:47

As long as he followed up with "Justice has been served!".

Aylla89 3

Saturday 10 December 2016 0:56

I feel for you OP. That stuff burns like fire.

cardjoker6500025 0

Saturday 10 December 2016 3:33

well next time you'll see it cumming

peglegmeg9117 4

Saturday 10 December 2016 7:01

id have yelled back that revenge tastes so much sweeter than justice and wiped some cum off my face and tackled him forcing his own cum into his mouth. Boy wants to play that shit then he can eat his shit smh