Intimacy: Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I... - FML

By FML.. - 06/04/2009 19:51 - China

Spicy

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

I agree, your life sucks 705

You deserved it 485

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

TBD3 0

Tuesday 7 April 2009 2:07

Wow, I almost read this very wrong. I missed the "I asked my friend..." part and thought your Hispanic boyfriend was a "she"...

SundayNight_fml 0

Thursday 28 January 2010 0:39

Maybe if your boyfriends initials were KFC?

Comments

eminemluvr 3

Tuesday 9 July 2013 11:28

LMAOOOOO

halloimramdom 5

Tuesday 16 July 2013 7:41

HAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHHAHAH

JoseIsAdork 31

Wednesday 17 July 2013 9:45

Lmao!!! omg ^_^

MESammyG 10

Wednesday 24 July 2013 17:02

I died. Some common knowledge of the language would've served you well at this point.

bluerara912 12

Sunday 28 July 2013 6:25

That's what you get for ******* a spick

yellowaholic 25

Monday 12 August 2013 9:49

*you're so dumb, oh the irony.

Slawter16 24

Saturday 17 August 2013 18:19

I still laugh so hard when I see this.

Boredboard 3

Monday 2 September 2013 19:17

FRIED CHICKEN! FRIED CHICKEN!

bryguy89 10

Friday 27 September 2013 3:31

Why wouldn't he tell her what it meant?

DevilsAltair 8

Tuesday 15 October 2013 4:41

Why is this YDI

wolfheartmoon 12

Wednesday 20 November 2013 17:44

Because spanish/english dictionaries exist. OP could of looked it up.

52
53
54
55
56
57
58

Keywords

Awkward Love My ex AITA Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Health Embarrassing Sports Proposal Annoying Snow Cold weather Cheating Work Money Relatable Kids Parenting DIY Accident Parents Medication ADHD Weather Miscellaneous Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird

The Top

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves, so I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview, I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202 664

You deserved it 52 036

Today, I learned that I actually like my boiled eggs a bit softer than I usually make them. I also learned that an outwardly lukewarm egg, when bitten into enthusiastically, is perfectly capable of creating a volcanic eruption of boiling hot yolk all over your hands, clothes and kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 645

You deserved it 413

The Top

Today, a homeless man asked me for money in a train station bathroom. When I told him I had no money he left. He then returned only to pour a bottle full of urine on my head while I was in the stall. I use a metro card. I honestly had no money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 801

You deserved it 2 175

Today, I went to the House of Horrors at Universal Studios. People dressed up as monsters would jump at us, and I was so freaked out that I tripped. My equally terrified mom fell on top of me. Frankenstein's monster was nice enough to ask us if we were alright. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 578

You deserved it 15 817

Today, as I was walking my dog around the block, I fell in the splits position on wet dirt and ripped my pants right on the front. I then had to walk home casually holding a chihuahua on my crotch hoping I would not run into anyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 492

You deserved it 1 215

Today, I was getting frisky with my girlfriend. It was going well until we had to put our clothes back on quickly because someone was coming upstairs. It was my sister, who opened the door and said, “It smells like salami in here! Can I have some?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 699

You deserved it 103

Today, I was driving through the mountains and there was a chain requirement. I went to put them on and found a note where my chains used to be saying, "Have fun in a blizzard now bitch" from my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 738

You deserved it 6 644

Today, my brother and his girlfriend got married. I got a pretty bad pimple on my nose not long before, and I'd tried to pop it. It turned into a really bad scab instead, so I put makeup on it. I didn't notice until after the wedding that the makeup made the scab look badly infected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 837

You deserved it 193