Intimacy: Today, I was hanging out with my friends. My friend started talking...

By konichiwa - 02/11/2009 22:03 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with my friends. My friend started talking about how unfair it is that women can use their breasts to get promotions. I told him that he has no place to talk, as he used his "d*ck" a few months ago with his female boss. His girlfriend of 3 years was sitting next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 906

You deserved it 34 749

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By FML - 05/07/2010 00:15 - United States

Today, I came to work ready to impress my boss. A couple of weeks ago I asked him for a promotion from stock to sales and I have been proving myself worthy. Turns out he hired a new girl for sales, with great, big, fake breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 064

You deserved it 4 628

The walls have ears

By Anonymous - 09/08/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, while sitting at a table in a coffee shop, I overheard someone on the next table talking about their horrible boss. I joined in, complaining about mine, and going into great detail about what an arsehole he can be. Turns out, I was talking to my boss's sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 647

Bigmouth strikes again

By Anonymous - 28/08/2022 16:00

Today, after two months without sex, my new coworker began telling me about how his ex dumped him after fucking all his friends. The only response I could muster was, “Well, I wish I knew you better.” That got HR involved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 575

You deserved it 1 198

By Anonymous - 17/03/2018 19:00

Today, I got a promotion because my boss “accidentally” had sex with my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 846

You deserved it 403

Creep in chief

By wow @ creepy fuckers - 17/11/2012 01:06 - United States

Today, yet again, my boss whined to me like a baby over being "friend-zoned" by his secretary. Not only does he basically stalk her and make her eat lunch with him every day, she's a lesbian in a committed relationship. He suspended me after I lost it and told him to see a fucking therapist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 160

You deserved it 6 151

Love Island is back, baby

By Anonymous - 06/06/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I introduced the girl I was talking to my best friend, and we all hung out. Until this day, her and I were doing great. After my friend left, she started gushing about how hot he is. He wasn't hitting on her at all. I reminded her that, and that he has a girlfriend. She was calm, but visibly upset. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 95

Lil' cutie

By pitytitty - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging about me to his friends, telling them I have a great smile, cute hair, and very perky tits. This wouldn't be so bad if we weren't both men. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 786

You deserved it 7 337

Fight!

By Anonymous - 03/10/2019 06:00

Today, I overheard my husband of 3 years talking to our boss, an attractive blonde. She was telling him that she couldn't believe he was with me. She thinks I'm fat and ugly and that he's hot. He said, "She's not that bad…" We work in the same store and she follows him around like a puppy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 477

You deserved it 211

By Anonymous - 31/08/2012 23:16 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I had my boss over for dinner. Knowing that I was angling for a promotion, my fifteen-year-old son spent the dinner uttering lines such as "What's the point of showering before bed?" and "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." My boss was not impressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 153

You deserved it 4 930

By Chris - 01/01/2011 05:06 - United States

Today, I was in the elevator with my female coworker and a very attractive teen in front of us. My coworker reached out and grabbed the boobs of the teen in front of us, and blamed it on me. I got yelled at, kneed in the crotch, and punched in the face. My coworker couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 517

You deserved it 3 937

EffYoLife 14

Tuesday 3 November 2009 1:45

well thats what he gets for cheating on his girlfriend. if he didnt do that, you wouldnt have had that story to tell. so oh well FHL (eff HIS life)

EmmjayHEY 0

Tuesday 3 November 2009 1:38

smooooooth

Comments

blakehilli8 0

Tuesday 3 November 2009 1:38

first

EmmjayHEY 0

Tuesday 3 November 2009 1:38

smooooooth

ruby29 0

Saturday 10 July 2010 5:05

FATL

WTSchool 0

Thursday 7 October 2010 3:27

^ EPIC FAIL.

EMTchic 14

Friday 21 December 2012 21:03

57- no, you are an epic fail. FATL means "**** all their lives"

Sp1k3FML 14

Sunday 11 May 2014 23:40

It does? O.O

flyboy57 0

Tuesday 3 November 2009 1:41

he may have dicked his boss, but did he get a promotion? if not, his dick didn't get him anything and your point is invalid. sucks for his gf though.

movies12 0

Tuesday 3 November 2009 1:44

Well aren't you smart.

EffYoLife 14

Tuesday 3 November 2009 1:45

well thats what he gets for cheating on his girlfriend. if he didnt do that, you wouldnt have had that story to tell. so oh well FHL (eff HIS life)

chaos753159 4

Friday 22 January 2010 6:04

or a FHL **** His Life cause you gave away the secret

k1w1 0

Thursday 24 June 2010 16:42

FATL (**** all their lives). they're all in a stickyy situation.

constantine91 0

Monday 26 September 2011 9:04

**** his gf's life.

Skull_300 0

Tuesday 3 November 2009 1:46

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Kreb 4

Tuesday 3 November 2009 1:49

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

stonessm 2

Tuesday 2 October 2012 0:03

Soooo... It sucks for him that OP accidentally ratted on him for cheating on his gf with his boss? This sounds more like a **** her life for having to learn of her boyfriends infidelity like that