Intimacy: Today, I was having sex with a guy I met and in the middle of...

By MarMar - 15/03/2009 20:47 - United States

Today, I was having sex with a guy I met and in the middle of it his mother called him. After stopping to answer the phone, he tried to put me on with her because she didn't believe anyone would actually sleep with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123 596

You deserved it 17 308

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Same thing different taste

Tactical nuke

By not getting laid - 13/10/2013 14:38 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 306

You deserved it 93 899

By liz1234 - 23/03/2009 00:11 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. His mom called to him from the next room telling him dinner would be ready soon, he needed to move his car, etc. They had a 5 minute conversation...while he was still inside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 218

You deserved it 8 138

Overbearing parents are the worst

By SoDead - 05/12/2020 04:01 - United States - Center Point

Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 804

You deserved it 1 741

By T1A2Z3 - 13/11/2018 03:00

Today, right before sex, with his dick out and the condom in one hand, the guy I was with answered a phone call from his mum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 258

You deserved it 401

By anonymous - 21/02/2011 05:01

Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 990

You deserved it 14 931

Knock next time please

By Anonymous - 09/11/2020 21:32 - India

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 969

You deserved it 794

You OK hun?

By notexactly - 29/12/2009 00:48 - Sweden

Today, the guy I like called me, and my mom picked up. Just as it happened, I slipped and fell in the shower, and was sitting there moaning. The guy asked if he could speak to me, but my mom heard me and answered, "Well, she's masturbating right now, but I'll tell her to call you later!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 146

You deserved it 3 336

Mama's Boy

By Anonymous - 08/03/2017 04:00 - United States

Today, my husband answered a FaceTime call from his mother not 30 seconds after sex. I was naked in bed next to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 785

You deserved it 600

By BlackPolarbear - 23/01/2010 08:05 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 133

You deserved it 29 773

Where did that come from?

By psychicmother - 09/09/2011 10:58 - United Kingdom

Today, I was driving my drunk mother home when my phone rang. It was my boyfriend, so I asked her to answer the call. My mother then questioned him on our sex life and was especially interested to know if we'd used handcuffs because I "like them." I have no recollection of ever telling her this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 771

You deserved it 4 872

Miller_Time 0

Monday 16 March 2009 2:13

See, that's just really, really awkward. Like in the way you never want anything to be.

Shadic 0

Monday 16 March 2009 2:15

Why'd he answer the phone?

Comments

c3ns0r3dn4m3 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 2:56

shouts out ! ahha take pix and send it or somethin

Wendelaa 0

Saturday 13 June 2009 18:24

How's that **** your life?? more like, **** his life

king_jeff 0

Monday 29 June 2009 5:19

Haha you sleep with wierdos. You deserve it!

supercereal 0

Tuesday 20 October 2009 15:41

lmao, this isnt bad, just funny. Id have just answered the phone.

freak14 0

Thursday 29 October 2009 1:21

More like FHL. Even his mom didn't think he could get laid.

SIMRRF 0

Friday 5 February 2010 10:21

ok so this isn't really a FML, it's more of a FHL. ot sounds like a very sad, lonely one, lol....

iloveelephants 0

Wednesday 28 July 2010 8:15

you have sex with guys you just meet ? ;S

iluvpink10 0

Wednesday 30 March 2011 1:51

and u had sex with this guy?!?

chaleighrae7 4

Thursday 26 May 2011 4:29

well yeah. no ones gonna sleep with him when he answers his moms calls during sex. what a turn offff.

emily666 0

Tuesday 18 October 2011 6:51

Lol *****!!

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The Top

Today, I was driving down the road when a dog suddenly ran across the street. In attempt to spare its life, I swerved to the side of the road and rear-ended another car. The car I hit belonged the family who owned the dog. Now I have to pay them because I saved their dog's life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 358

You deserved it 5 959

Today, my boyfriend was complaining about his kids being hard to handle. He repeatedly said the other day that if he had a woman to help then maybe it wouldn’t be so hard. I don’t really know how to take that, since I’ve said multiple times I’m willing to meet them. I feel like I’m too close, to soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 177

The Top

Today, for the third night in a row, I got cockblocked by my 10 month-old not sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 243

You deserved it 432

Today, after his second week of babysitting, my boyfriend has begun the disturbing habit of saying, "Ready or not, here I come!" every time he's about to orgasm. He doesn't see why this doesn't appeal to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 334

You deserved it 3 338

Today, after a horrible day at work, I called my wife on the drive home and asked if she could start the kettle so I could have a cup of tea when I got home. She shrieked, "I'm not your maid!" and hung up on me, then threw hot water in my face when I got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 678

You deserved it 99

Today, my grandmother and I got mugged. As I stood there paralyzed with fear, she grabbed the mugger from behind as he escaped, and gave him a suplex, knocking him out. Then, as if nothing happened, she dusted herself, picked up our things, held my hand, and said, "Come on baby, let's get you a clean pair of shorts." FML

I agree, your life sucks 215

You deserved it 474

Today, I found out my dad thinks he's famous because he's been on 'Cops', twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 998

You deserved it 4 112

Today, my partner of 4 years has told me that trying to be emotionally present and initiate affection from time to time is too much of a change for them to handle. I wish they had said that the first time I brought it up, instead of stringing me along. Oh, but they "love me". Just not enough to be a better person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 658

You deserved it 199