Transportation: Today, I was helping some friends put supplies in my crush's...

By friendly_neighbourhood_psycho - 19/08/2011 22:47 - Sweden

Today, I was helping some friends put supplies in my crush's car for our picnic. His girlfriend cracked a joke about me, so I just sarcastically laughed and slammed the door shut. Now she has three broken fingers, and I have a reputation as a psychopath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 367

You deserved it 9 394

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Same thing different taste

By yoyyo - 07/11/2016 06:29 - United States - Manhattan

Today, I accidentally sliced open my crush's hand at work while we were messing around on break. A month ago, I broke his brother's finger playing dodgeball. No wonder I'm still single; he must think I'm out to get his family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 116

You deserved it 1 340

By wtf - 16/06/2016 06:02 - United States - Fairfield

Today, my best friend was walking next to her crush, so I pushed her into him gently as a joke. She ended up stepping on his foot, which caused him to fall and crack his head against the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 277

You deserved it 5 912

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 22:50 - France

Today, my girlfriend gave herself a black eye by running into a door. To avoid being teased about her clumsiness, she's telling everyone that I hit her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 106

You deserved it 3 666

By Z - 03/07/2010 19:26 - United States

Today, after a large, dramatic fight with my girlfriend in a parking lot, we stopped arguing altogether and hugged, dropping the issue. Twenty seconds later, I accidentally slammed her hand in the car door, breaking two of her fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 833

You deserved it 14 275

What the F, lady?

By Anonymous - 01/09/2012 00:49 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, the girl I went on an awkward date with two weeks ago showed up at university and started smashing my car with a bat. She then broke down in tears and alternated between declaring her love, and cussing me out for "cheating" on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 196

You deserved it 2 500

Be careful, please!

By WolfsScar - 08/01/2020 14:00 - United States - Lincoln

Today, while I was telling a friend she needs to be more careful about getting hurt, I dislocated and sprained my thumb. She then laughed at me and said, "Yes, I will." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 475

You deserved it 553

By MyLife - 03/03/2019 12:00

Today, my best friend broke up with her partner. In retaliation, he got drunk and stole my car, then crashed it into a neighbour's house. Then after dealing with the police who didn't arrest him, he and my best friend made up and went to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 613

You deserved it 198

By no more mr nice guy - 27/12/2016 07:32

Today, my friend invited me, his girlfriend, and the girl I like over to his house to hang out. We hoped it would get me closer to my crush. The day ended with them having a threesome and me locked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 101

You deserved it 970

Roadworthy

By MerryDeathmas - 18/07/2015 04:31 - Canada - Lloydminster

Today, after an argument with my girlfriend, I tried to be dramatic by slamming my car door shut as hard as I could. Something broke and now it won't open. Now I have to climb through the passenger's side just to drive my car to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 533

You deserved it 30 098

By *facefloor* - 24/07/2012 20:08 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 074

You deserved it 5 417

muhaidib 2

Saturday 20 August 2011 5:31

Wow, I think you might need to look for another crush...

skinthesnakes 6

Saturday 20 August 2011 5:44

she now has 3 reasons not to ever make a joke about you again.

Comments

Phendraana 0

Saturday 20 August 2011 14:01

hey, even if you didnt mean to do it she deserved it for making fun of you. betcha nobody else will ever crack a joke at your expense again : D

mbrooks5110 0

Saturday 20 August 2011 14:42

You should watch wtf you are doing.

BighornB 0

Saturday 20 August 2011 14:44

No hand job for your crush. Guess you'll have to do the deed for him.

Give_Linux_A_Go 28

Saturday 20 August 2011 17:08

people tend to have 2 hands

Zombie65 0

Saturday 20 August 2011 14:53

That's cool ;-) I like it But yeah I think you need to find a new crush

ItsApril 0

Saturday 20 August 2011 17:43

Haha, I wouldn't really have felt too bad. Maybe because her fingers are broke, but not because she was hurt. Not because she would be my crush's girlfriend, but because of the wise crack.