Kids: Today, I was holding my son and smelled poop so I checked his... - FML

By Chan - 23/01/2010 03:16 - United States

Today, I was holding my son and smelled poop so I checked his diaper, but there was nothing there. Then I realized it was my breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 112

You deserved it 40 572

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 24/05/2015 14:14 - United States - Berwyn

Today, I kept getting out of bed because I was sure my daughter had pooped in her diaper. Every time, I found nothing. I finally figured out the foul smell was my husband's breath, when he leaned into kiss me goodnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 302

You deserved it 2 588

Good smell

By smellslikeroses - 30/12/2019 05:00 - United States - Oxnard

Today, while going to the bathroom, I noticed a smell lingering. It smelled good so I kept sniffing the air. And then it hit me. My poop! My poop smelled good and I'd been sniffing and enjoying it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 671

You deserved it 1 915

Flavor of the month

By potpurri_needed - 10/06/2009 17:37 - United States

Today, I was doing the laundry but couldn't tell if one basket contained dirty clothes or clean clothes. I put my head down into the basket and took a whiff to check, and smelled something strong. I looked down and noticed I had shoved my nose into my mother's dirty panties and inhaled deeply. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 192

You deserved it 60 985

By notsoproudfather - 01/02/2016 15:54 - India - Pune

Today, I walked in on my son's new habit. Sticking his finger up his ass, farting on it, and smelling it. Apparently, the scent is the purest then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 019

You deserved it 2 315

Dinnertime

By u.p.i.c. - 02/08/2019 22:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, the smell of my own fart made me feel hungry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 168

You deserved it 565

By ninalian - 22/05/2011 06:30 - United States

Today, I was talking to this boy I really like and we were laughing together, until I got this disgusting putrid smell. I started to say how awful the smell was and he stopped laughing to take a sniff too. As soon as he closed his mouth the smell was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 181

You deserved it 4 505

By finalyearsofhate - 13/03/2017 22:00

Today, my son took a nap quietly for the first time ever. As I went to wake him up, I realized why. A previously poop-filled diaper came flying at me when I opened the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 300

You deserved it 561

By Anonymous - 16/10/2017 01:30

Today, my 1-year-old son walked up to me with a disgusted look on his face. I could tell he had something in his mouth so I pulled it out. He'd been sucking on a piece of cat poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 897

You deserved it 474

By Anonymous - 27/02/2010 06:36 - United States

Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 606

You deserved it 3 175

Loud fart

By naomi3271 - 18/11/2019 20:00

Today, I accidentally scared my one year-old son with my huge, smelly fart that was really loud. He now won't come near me without crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 940

You deserved it 671

Next

Top comments

reapfml 0

Saturday 23 January 2010 9:05

brush yo teefs fool

ReyEr9412 0

Tuesday 20 April 2010 2:07

Bad dental care is also linked to SHUT THE **** UP

Comments

bloodhoundbambam 0

Saturday 23 January 2010 12:00

There's a guy in my school who's breath is even worse. If u look for 10 sec in his face while he's talking I feel like I have to vormit. The smell is really really unbeareble I never look him in the face, cause its impossible of the smell. (He's not someone I like tho. Not at all I hate that guy)

ctgirl12345 0

Saturday 23 January 2010 12:28

ummm well maybe you have taught your little son to brush his teeth. and maybe you should start brushing.

Sennamacher 0

Saturday 23 January 2010 13:12

Ew... I've had bad breath before (usually after I wake up in the morning before I brush my teeth) but never so bad that I can smell it on myself...

Laurendorcus 0

Saturday 23 January 2010 13:28

Maybe having bad breathe is her new version of birth control, obviously her last contraception failed. :-)

killabee 0

Saturday 23 January 2010 14:52

Tonsil stones. Google that.

MadeOfAwesome 1

Sunday 24 January 2010 0:38

Yeah, I recommend you don't. I already know what they are, and ignorance is truly bliss.

rachelbrianna25 0

Saturday 23 January 2010 15:19

EW! Omg, I work at a hotel, and so many ppl come in & leave with bad breath. It's so nasty.

kingwaldo 0

Saturday 23 January 2010 15:27

Grøss.

xlostwithoutu 0

Saturday 23 January 2010 17:56

øh mÿ... fåñčÿ łëttēr...

peacockfeather 0

Sunday 24 January 2010 9:06

WIN

perdix 29

Saturday 23 January 2010 15:27

I'm sure your husband appreciated the thorough rim job and salad tossing. ♫ The things we do for love. ♫

swimspy 3

Saturday 23 January 2010 15:31

hahaha I bet tht everyone who said she shld floss more are dentists daughters and sons!!!!

CYNNER 0

Sunday 24 January 2010 4:11

#37 its probably just people that care about they're hygene. i'm one of the people who said that and my dad has bad breath and he's a mechanic. he just has no teeth to floss.

manstie 1

Saturday 23 January 2010 15:33

Maybe if your dog stopped crapping in your fridge then you might randomly pick out some decent food, yeah?

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The Top

Today, I went to a party 40 minutes away by bus with some friends. We missed the bus, waited half an hour for the second, and arrived just in time to hear the policemen say, "Party's over. Get outta here." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 193

You deserved it 8 078

Today, I was struggling through an exam and the hot girl next to me seemed to be flying through the questions. So I cheated off her. When we finished I asked her to lunch. She said, "No, I just rushed through the exam so I can go fuck my boyfriend." I got shutdown and probably failed an exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 699

You deserved it 94 041

The Top

Today, I went to my school to take my yearbook picture. I was wearing a shirt that said ANALOG on the front. When I bent in to take the picture, part of my shirt overlapped itself. Now I'm known as the ANAL kid in the yearbook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 100

You deserved it 18 935

Today, it's my first day-off for the holidays. Today is also the day they decided to start building a house next to mine. I can't sleep beyond 7 am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 942

You deserved it 2 367

Today, I was sitting down in the hallway at school. As I tried to get up, I lost my balance and fell against a hand sanitizer dispenser. It then continued to squirt sanitizer all over the back of my shirt, drenching the whole left side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 021

You deserved it 1 462

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 562

You deserved it 3 442

Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 455

You deserved it 809

Today, I was talking with a coworker about movie actors. I was trying to remember Forest Whitaker’s name and I blurted out, “the droopy-eyed King of Scotland.” Boy, did I get some looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 162

You deserved it 243