Geek: Today, I was home alone. It was very dark and so I went to turn...

By OhaiiKid - 07/03/2010 05:02 - United States

Today, I was home alone. It was very dark and so I went to turn on the lights, when I heard the sound of a gun loading. I dropped to the floor but never heard a gun fire. I got up and heard the sound again. When I got lights on, I discovered it was only my printer telling me it was out of paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 482

You deserved it 26 060

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Spooked

By Anonymous - 15/11/2010 05:08

Today, I thought my house was being broken into in the dead of night. Frightened, I dismounted a floor lamp as a makeshift weapon and crept through the house, channelling my inner Ellen Ripley. It turned out to be the wireless printer with a paper jam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 799

You deserved it 6 774

By Anonymous - 03/09/2013 19:50 - United States

Today, I had to visit a client because his printer had broken down. After driving for an hour, then being screamed at about how horrible my company's service is, I walked over to his printer and found the problem: there was no paper loaded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 402

You deserved it 3 127

Caught

By Anonymous - 25/10/2015 02:47 - United States - Apollo

Today, I woke up to noises in my living room. I was scared, but I loaded my gun and snuck downstairs. I burst into the living room, yelled for the motherfucker robbing me to put his hands up, and flicked on the light. My cat stared back at me like I was a moron then calmly walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 616

You deserved it 7 924

Brain fart

By jonjon - 13/06/2010 13:16 - United States

Today, after spending the evening with friends, I went home and realized that the living room light was on. Thinking someone was robbing me, I hid behind a bush. I got impatient and crept up to the door. Then I remembered that I'd left the light on before I left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 961

You deserved it 47 320

By Anonymous - 03/01/2010 16:35 - United States

Today, I was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling with the lights off. It was 1AM and I'd just finished watching a scary movie so I was a little paranoid. I was about to fall asleep when an eerie light lit the room. I jumped, got tangled in the sheets, and hit my head against the bed frame. Where'd the light come from? Not a space ship. Not someone breaking in. It was my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 562

You deserved it 29 184

By Anonymous - 09/01/2017 23:42

Today, I was the last to go upstairs, so I had to turn off the lights. My tired brain decided to use my phone flashlight to check if all the lights were out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 082

You deserved it 1 202

Stealth mode

By Slipperywhenwet - 28/02/2009 13:08 - United States

Today, I was stepping out of the shower while home alone. I heard voices coming from the living room. I grabbed a bat to defend myself and ran into the living room. I slipped on my tile floor and smashed my TV with the bat. No one was in my house, but I'd left the radio on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 631

You deserved it 48 170

By Anonymous - 12/12/2014 02:04 - United States - Yorktown

Today, I was home alone when I heard the carbon-monoxide detector beeping. Panicking, I grabbed my dog, ran out of my house as fast as I could, and waited outside for 3 hours for my mom to get home. Turned out the detector was just out of batteries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 452

You deserved it 7 682

Jumpy

By Chelsea - 21/04/2009 05:20 - United States

Today, my mom made me clean. I was dusting in the living room and heard gunshots outside the apartment. I dove on the floor and started crying and screaming. My mom walked in and informed me that the sound was her making popcorn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 694

You deserved it 71 096

By Lilly_28 - 11/08/2009 14:01 - United States

Today, I was home alone. I didn't expect anyone to be anywhere near home, so when I got out of the shower, I walked to the living room, naked, to get the tv remote for my room. Only to find the UPS guy standing at our glass front door. I screamed... so did he. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 981

You deserved it 18 451

astro_plastic 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 12:27

Little do they know, their printer is actually Optimus Prime.

shorty1989 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 12:18

wow paranoid!

Comments

thenumberblue 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 21:40

retard

unknown_female 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 22:26

well at least you were cautious....

jakeomatic 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 22:33

"...my printer told me it was out of paper.. then it fired."

allmidnighteyes 10

Monday 8 March 2010 0:03

"When I'm home alone and I hear a noise, I suddenly go ninja" Thank you, Facebook, for having a fan page for every situation

baffelbug 0

Monday 8 March 2010 0:26

LMFAO. I nearly shit myself after reading this.

stainglassvtv 0

Monday 8 March 2010 0:32

i would be like wat da f*** diee! frikin printer scaree me half 2 death gosh lol good reaction OP

chaldochamp3 6

Monday 8 March 2010 0:49

is it possible to be any stupider. no printers sound like a gun loading. get off call of duty

Turbolag25 7

Monday 8 March 2010 0:59

first?

yourlifesfucked 0

Monday 8 March 2010 1:10

how could u confuse a printer for a gun loading? srsly, they dont sound similar at all. then again ive been shooting guns since i was 14 so its not like im unfamiliar with them or something