Miscellaneous: Today, I was in minding my own business in bed in my dorm room....

By Jack - 26/10/2009 06:32 - United States

Today, I was in minding my own business in bed in my dorm room. It was dark and my roommate came over, intending to slap my ass really hard. The problem is, I was lying face up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 996

You deserved it 3 007

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Same thing different taste

It was an accident!

By innocent - 06/01/2014 21:32 - Australia

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 016

You deserved it 7 503

By ericane27 - 27/12/2011 19:53 - United States

Today, I woke up to someone screaming "FIRE!" When I sat up, my face went right into my room-mate's ballsack. Apparently it was funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 364

You deserved it 5 853

By sociallyanxiousroomie - 19/04/2016 10:22 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my roommates had a party while I stayed in my room, and that was fine by me. What was not fine was when a stranger broke into my room, asked to lay next to me, and then just went ahead and did it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 554

You deserved it 1 630

By 123roomielover - 26/01/2011 17:40 - United States

Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 565

You deserved it 3 740

By Anonymous - 02/03/2011 11:20 - United States

Today, my roommate came home and instantly began raging, cursing, and threatening to kill me. While I was cowering in my bedroom, the police had to settle the situation. All I'd done was rearrange some furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 577

You deserved it 6 347

By ayye_its_nikki - 19/12/2012 05:07 - United States - Cedar Park

Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 543

You deserved it 21 356

By NickJJ - 16/05/2014 02:34 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I woke up to somebody shaking my shoulder. I had slept over at a friend's house, so I assumed my friend was just fooling around. With my head under the pillow, I swung my hand at his face then gave him the finger. Turns out, my friend left for basketball and I had slept in. It was his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 494

You deserved it 18 442

By SoVeryMonday - 30/11/2009 18:01 - Canada

Today, we rearranged the bedroom and my boyfriend and I switched sides of the bed. When the alarm went off, he got confused as to which side the clock was on. Instead of hitting the snooze button like he normally does, he hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 159

You deserved it 9 525

By Sawarski - 07/01/2013 20:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 664

You deserved it 3 299

Love hurts

By wray16 - 26/02/2021 21:30 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 131

Saluton 18

Monday 26 October 2009 16:17

"minding your own business"? Does that mean masturbating?

netfreak 0

Monday 26 October 2009 16:15

BOOM! NUTSHOT

Comments

blastvortex 3

Monday 26 October 2009 20:17

Kick his ass.

manjunk 0

Monday 26 October 2009 20:36

if my roomate slapped me in the ass or balls i would punch him in the face

betterthingstodo 0

Monday 26 October 2009 22:22

sounds like someone needs to get in touch with their feminine side! heyooh!

Coly_hrap 0

Monday 26 October 2009 21:11

is your new dorm nickname name numb nuts? you should prolly grow a pair and setup an elaborate prank to get back some selfesteem. GL with that

KoRnchick 3

Monday 26 October 2009 23:24

i accidently did this 2 my bf once! trying to slap his arse

jonny2x4 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 2:09

SLAPNUTS FTW!!!!!

FerrariCake 2

Tuesday 27 October 2009 3:40

Pretty gay. Sounds like you have a represseed homosexual for a roommate. Don't fall asleep in the same room with him.

roflmaonade 2

Tuesday 27 October 2009 3:57

you were in minding your own business? your roommate wanted to slap your butt in the middle of the night? really hard? ..do elaborate

The_Advice_Guy 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 4:15

I suggest that you swap the Kool-aid in your fridge with Drain-o.I promise you,you're gonna be the last man laughing.From your cell in jail.But all the same,you will have gotten your revenge,right?

ijustlaugh 0

Saturday 25 June 2011 8:02

Wow why not go for the less deadly and illegal saline in the Kool-Aid?

ImTheAlpha 30

Friday 2 March 2012 0:28

Dude, your advice sucks Justin Bieber's imaginary ****. Just saying. You seem awesome, from your profile, though. Lølz, sørry, I'm børed. I am going to spam you. SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM! Børed. -.-