Miscellaneous: Today, I was in minding my own business in bed in my dorm room....

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By Jack - 26/10/2009 06:32 - United States

Today, I was in minding my own business in bed in my dorm room. It was dark and my roommate came over, intending to slap my ass really hard. The problem is, I was lying face up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 002

You deserved it 3 010

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Same thing different taste

It was an accident!

By innocent - 06/01/2014 21:32 - Australia

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 049

You deserved it 7 513

By ericane27 - 27/12/2011 19:53 - United States

Today, I woke up to someone screaming "FIRE!" When I sat up, my face went right into my room-mate's ballsack. Apparently it was funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 367

You deserved it 5 853

By sociallyanxiousroomie - 19/04/2016 10:22 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my roommates had a party while I stayed in my room, and that was fine by me. What was not fine was when a stranger broke into my room, asked to lay next to me, and then just went ahead and did it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 559

You deserved it 1 632

By 123roomielover - 26/01/2011 17:40 - United States

Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 574

You deserved it 3 741

By Anonymous - 02/03/2011 11:20 - United States

Today, my roommate came home and instantly began raging, cursing, and threatening to kill me. While I was cowering in my bedroom, the police had to settle the situation. All I'd done was rearrange some furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 587

You deserved it 6 349

By ayye_its_nikki - 19/12/2012 05:07 - United States - Cedar Park

Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 546

You deserved it 21 361

By NickJJ - 16/05/2014 02:34 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I woke up to somebody shaking my shoulder. I had slept over at a friend's house, so I assumed my friend was just fooling around. With my head under the pillow, I swung my hand at his face then gave him the finger. Turns out, my friend left for basketball and I had slept in. It was his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 502

You deserved it 18 446

By SoVeryMonday - 30/11/2009 18:01 - Canada

Today, we rearranged the bedroom and my boyfriend and I switched sides of the bed. When the alarm went off, he got confused as to which side the clock was on. Instead of hitting the snooze button like he normally does, he hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 163

You deserved it 9 528

By Sawarski - 07/01/2013 20:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 670

You deserved it 3 302

Love hurts

By wray16 - 26/02/2021 21:30 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 832

You deserved it 135

Saluton 18

Monday 26 October 2009 16:17

"minding your own business"? Does that mean masturbating?

netfreak 0

Monday 26 October 2009 16:15

BOOM! NUTSHOT

Comments

OhMyGodOx 0

Sunday 8 November 2009 12:16

:L I Laughed

ming88 0

Wednesday 11 November 2009 19:47

haha! nice one but fyl

beckybecks20 8

Tuesday 27 April 2010 19:38

lmfaoooo #49:DDD

88sforlife 0

Tuesday 15 June 2010 5:23

Boom

rach_hunnie 0

Sunday 7 November 2010 16:15

Are u a boy ??? if u are then definatly FYL!!

ImmaZebra 0

Sunday 12 December 2010 9:32

He probably knew it wasn't your ass. ;)

xerxes190 3

Saturday 22 January 2011 6:51

are all American college boys gay?

OHnathanIO 4

Monday 20 June 2011 8:57

win

ijustlaugh 0

Saturday 25 June 2011 8:06

ahw accidentally do it back. :] or there are these really cool collin clenser pills that make you get rid off EVERYTHING and it hits you hard and fast so mix it up in his drink lol