Animals: Today, I was in my basement when I saw a giant cricket on the...

By Anonymous - 10/09/2010 02:09 - United States

Today, I was in my basement when I saw a giant cricket on the floor. I found an old plastic bottle of orange paint to drop on it and did so from about five feet up. The bottle exploded and splattered the walls and floor like a crime scene. The cricket hopped away untouched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 054

You deserved it 50 835

Back to school
Is that it, have we really enjoyed the holidays? It's time to find the best back-to-school struggles. More…

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Same thing different taste

By lexii - 05/05/2012 05:01 - United States

Today, while trying to kill a spider in my kitchen, I thought it would be wise to throw a bottle at it. The bottle hit the wall, bounced off the fridge and hit me in the face. The lucky spider crawled away, and is surely still laughing somewhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 742

You deserved it 30 888

Cool

By daisythebunny1988 - 21/03/2020 00:01

Today, I was sitting in my garage with a fan on my face because it was hot when a suicidal cricket decided to jump into the blades, causing his cricket guts to be sprayed onto my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 841

You deserved it 224

By romainmain - 16/09/2012 22:50 - France - Charleville-m?zi?res

Today, I saw a small bug on the wall, so I decided to send it straight to the insect afterlife by smashing it with a book. The book crushed it, and caused my clock to come free from the wall and crash down onto my TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 934

You deserved it 26 595

By rb - 01/05/2011 06:02 - United States

Today, I washed my hands and reached for the towel but felt something sticky. It was a house centipede. It exploded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 774

You deserved it 3 584

Leave spiders to chill

By Anonymous - 17/12/2020 14:07

Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 732

You deserved it 325

By spiderwoman - 15/04/2011 11:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I saw a spider crawling across a poster in my bedroom, so I smacked the spot below it to scare the spider into climbing back up the wall. Instead, because the poster wasn't completely flat to the wall, I catapulted the spider straight into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 299

You deserved it 32 196

Spider-man

By Anonymous - 16/10/2019 16:00

Today, I tried to catch a spider in a glass. It was on the paper and I wanted it to fall into the glass, but I moved the paper the wrong way, screeched like a banshee and flung the glass at the floor. I was barefoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 610

You deserved it 1 321

Juicy breakfast

By Anonymous - 07/01/2022 01:01 - Canada - Warman

Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 050

You deserved it 162

By bugnose - 16/05/2011 06:26

Today, I noticed an extremely large bug buzzing around my room. After several attempts, I stomped on it with my shoe. I was trying to get a closer look at my victory when it flew into my nostril. Turns out it was just playing dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 936

You deserved it 9 132

Hidden

By fml9124 - 20/09/2019 14:00

Today, I saw a scorpion crawling across the kitchen floor. While trying to swat it towards the middle of the floor to prevent it from escaping as I looked for something to kill it with, my cat came to investigate. Kitty thought I was playing with a new toy and joined in by batting the scorpion under the oven. I know it's plotting its revenge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 377

You deserved it 178

jim69_fml 0

Friday 10 September 2010 9:36

YDI moron

schwancy 2

Friday 10 September 2010 9:37

Have you ever tried using your foot? Or perhaps just leaving it alone?

Comments

bloobelly 0

Friday 10 September 2010 9:54

MY GOD! you are dumb.

ohthebloodygore 16

Friday 10 September 2010 9:56

No, no. The correct word is idiot. OP is an idiot.

DEXter501 0

Friday 10 September 2010 9:54

Who the hell does that? YDI for not thinking rationally.

demomanX 0

Friday 10 September 2010 9:57

I love you

nowmyliferoxx 0

Friday 10 September 2010 10:00

Amen #17

ohthebloodygore 16

Friday 10 September 2010 10:01

I hate you.

makemeasandwich 0

Friday 10 September 2010 10:04

lol

FFML_314 11

Friday 10 September 2010 10:07

I loath you.

ohthebloodygore 16

Friday 10 September 2010 10:10

I love you too!

ScaryyMary 14

Friday 10 September 2010 10:13

I'm absolutely terrified of crickets to the point where I climb furniture to get away from them, but I have NEVER been scared to the point where I actually did something this stupid. Fail, OP. Fail.

TheIrishJaneDoe 8

Friday 10 September 2010 17:43

I abhor crickets too! They're the only bugs that bother me that way, except for maybe funnel weaver spiders. Unfortunately, Mr. Doe is creeped out by crickets as well, so neither of us can smash them— that crunch! Ugh.

FFML_314 11

Friday 10 September 2010 18:16

Jane, you would not like it here. From time to time, we get army worms and they fill the roads and it's all you hear driving to work...crunch, crunch, crunch. By the way, crickets are delicious and nutritious! No joke. I hope you can find yours soon, 82.

FFML_314 11

Friday 10 September 2010 18:22

TWSS.

ScaryyMary 14

Friday 10 September 2010 20:11

Spiders don't actually scare me much. I have this really weird fear of any bug with prominent antennae... Crickets are EVERYWHERE where I live :

Ninjasaurus18 9

Friday 8 June 2012 13:33

Why would you be afraid of insects? Unless they're spitting venom, are 10 feet long and have enormous fangs, I don't think they're gonna hurt you. Same with spiders. Not many are venomous enough to kill a person.