Intimacy: Today, I was in the bathroom defecating when I felt something...

By benander - 15/09/2009 21:14 - United States

Today, I was in the bathroom defecating when I felt something hanging there. I reached back with toilet paper and starting pulling it out inch by inch; 3 feet later I learned I had a tapeworm. Worst of all, no pharmacy has the med the doctor prescribed. I have to live with this thing until the med gets here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 015

You deserved it 4 113

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Same thing different taste

By scarred for life - 28/05/2016 05:23 - United States - Carmel

Today, I realized my recent weight loss probably wasn't caused by working out and eating more healthily. It was from the tapeworm I discovered hanging out my ass after I took a crap. I had to pull it out with my bare hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 561

You deserved it 4 081

By Anonymous - 19/01/2011 05:45 - United States

Today, I was going to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. I had awful diarrhea and was almost done, when I noticed a spider on the ground. Being terrified, I took a giant ball of toilet paper to kill it. I realized then that I had no toilet paper left to use. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 714

You deserved it 35 129

By what if I'm being eaten from the inside out? oh my god - 05/04/2013 18:51 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 695

You deserved it 4 836

By ouch - 19/12/2009 15:15 - United States

Today, I was lying in bed with the worst stomach cramps ever. My boyfriend came, looked at me writhing in pain, and said, "Well at least if it's a tapeworm you'll get skinnier." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 351

You deserved it 3 815

Sorry, little dude

By dire-rear - 16/01/2010 20:19 - Singapore

Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 099

You deserved it 3 657

Creepypasta

By mrsekko - 31/05/2011 12:44 - United States

Today, my daughter called for me to come into the bathroom. Turns out the tummy ache she'd been complaining of was actually parasites in her digestive tract. I could swear they were looking at me from the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 866

You deserved it 5 297

By blowinchunks - 24/11/2009 06:00 - Canada

Today, I found a mealworm in my cornflakes. I had already finished most of the bowl. I didn't make it to the toilet to throw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 757

You deserved it 2 965

Ring of fire

By Anonymous - 20/08/2022 12:00

Today, I did a big shit at work and found there was no toilet paper. I had to wipe my ass with disinfectant toilet seat wipes. It burns so bad, I can almost taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 744

You deserved it 289

Bunged up

By Anonymous - 17/03/2024 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, the medication I’ve been taking has caused me to become constipated for so long I'm now unable to go, because all my poop is a solid mass in my bowels no stool softener can touch. So a surgeon is either going up my ass with a hose and a spoon, or cutting open my stomach to remove it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 555

You deserved it 88

By Rob - 16/10/2009 01:59 - France

Today, while on the crapper, I learned that morphine has a nasty side-effect. It appears that it can cause a massive rock-hard piece of dung the size of a bus to form in your intestines. I went to the doctor, he handed me a glove and some laxatives and said, "Have fun!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 633

You deserved it 3 579

LOLYLIF 0

Wednesday 16 September 2009 3:05

I hope to ******* God no one does a comic for this one.

zrjones 0

Wednesday 16 September 2009 1:52

this is oone of the nastiest FMLs ever

Comments

lalalaaa_ 0

Wednesday 16 September 2009 4:33

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW I totally agree! This must be one of the grossest FMLs EVER!!! EW EW EW!!!

EmoKidsFail 0

Wednesday 16 September 2009 4:33

OH MY GOD THIS IS MY WORST NIGHTMARE!!!!!!!!! im sorry.

jme208 0

Wednesday 16 September 2009 4:35

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GROSSEST. THING. EVER!!!!

iFruit 0

Wednesday 16 September 2009 4:36

Oh, shit. (no pun intended) That sucks. I hope you got some revenge and cut the little tapeworm into pieces!

Chibi_fml 9

Wednesday 16 September 2009 4:46

Oh my god, that is absolutely disgusting and horrifying. This sounds like a nightmare. I hope the medication comes REALLY soon (could you not ask your doctor to prescribe a med that they do have?) and you kill it. Fast.

beethoven_fml 0

Wednesday 16 September 2009 4:46

OHHHH JESUS GOD CHRIST EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEUUUUUUURCH

JukeboxBunny 0

Wednesday 16 September 2009 4:51

That's absolutely ******* disgusting. Thank god I'm a vegetarian. I don't have to worry about it. [: Lol on a side note, I wonder what plexico could possibly say about this FML?

Hellcrapdamn 0

Wednesday 16 September 2009 4:55

You should name it :)

hawthornehit 0

Wednesday 16 September 2009 4:58

This is fake.. but since you people don't know why i guess i'm going to have to elaborate.. first off you can't pull out a tapeworm because they are composed of tiny little segments with weak joints that barely hold them together.. now along with that the segments also have teeth-like things that latch on to the inside of your colon so that it can not only stay in it's place but so it can get nutrients.. therefore this person did not accomplish this and either has a huge tapeworm in them or no life and a compulsive-lying habit.. PWNED..

littlemissxx 0

Sunday 18 July 2010 16:48

tapeworms can be really long, he was probably pulling only a broken off segment of the tapeworm. btw, they can grow back.

whoaa_nellie 0

Wednesday 16 September 2009 4:58

i haven't commented on one of these fml's in a loooooooooong time but i just HAVE to say something now: that is utterly disgusting. mortifying actually. and i'm realllllllllly sorry this happened to you. FYL indeed.