Transportation: Today, I was in the car with my 16 year old daughter. There was...

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By Anonymous - 05/02/2010 06:18 - United States

Today, I was in the car with my 16 year old daughter. There was a guy on a fast looking motorcycle next to me at the stop light. I yelled to him to "get it up!" so that he would do a wheelie. Just before the light turned green he yelled back, "You're too old for me, but I'll get it up for her!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 129

You deserved it 32 334

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By Anonymous - 30/12/2022 03:00

Today, I was driving when this guy aggressively rode my tail and crossed over the yellow line to pass. He reached the stop light before I did, and I slowly pulled beside him and started clapping for this lunatic driver. He rolled down the window and said, "My daughter is in the hospital. How do I get there?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 1 087

By Fat Dad - 03/03/2009 21:27 - United States

Today, I drove my two kids to their friends' houses. In my convertible, looking what I though was my best, I slowed down outside a bar with cute 20 year old girls in front. My daughter noticed the speed reduction and said, "Keep driving dad, you're fat and mom left you for a reason." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 656

You deserved it 43 822

Thanks dude!

By Megan - 11/07/2023 12:00

Today, my car broke down at a red light. A man pulled up next to me and yelled at me to get out of the fast lane. I thought he was gonna offer help, as I was a young woman on her own, but he just yelled at me and sped off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 240

By enderw - 16/06/2009 17:22 - United States

Today, I picked up my 17 years old daughter after a late night movie in down town and got pulled over by a cop. He questioned us for a solicitation. I told the cop that she was my daughter but he said "so you are the daddy" and laughed. Good to know that my daughter looks like a ho and I a perv. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 138

You deserved it 6 412

By Anonymous - 13/01/2013 18:25 - United States - Unionville

Today, the girl of my dreams asked me if I wanted to go biking with her. "Just the two of us," she said. I had to turn her down because I'm 17 years old and never learned how to ride a bike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 083

You deserved it 38 595

By BikerGuy - 24/02/2016 06:31 - Canada - Alhambra

Today, the girl who likes me incredibly much asked me if she could come for a ride with me on my motorcycle. Normally this isn't a problem as I take lots of people out for rides for fun, but this time I had no choice but to tell her she couldn't because she's just too heavy for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 873

You deserved it 2 205

By Emma Five - 14/03/2012 03:22 - United States

Today, my dad was driving me to college. I'd cracked a joke about how old people like him shouldn't be allowed to drive, and I guess he took it personally, what with him speeding straight up to the parking lot wall, and only braking after I started shrieking in terror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 601

You deserved it 32 276

By ZZ - 30/06/2009 03:01 - Canada

Today, I was riding my bike on the side of the road because there was no sidewalk. Then a car with a loud horn honked at me. Pissed off, I turned around and screamed "shut the fuck up!" It was my girlfriend's parents saying hi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 570

You deserved it 66 793

By Robert - 13/09/2013 01:11 - United States - Drummond Island

Today, I pulled my motorcycle into a wheelie when my crush drove by. She was the one who drove me to the hospital when I went over backward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 085

You deserved it 52 722

By outplayed - 01/09/2017 16:00

Today, while reviewing boxes of motorcycle parts, I noticed my neighbor's daughter gleefully watching me. I jokingly said, "Wanna do this?" and she let out a loud squee and got to work alone. A few hours later, the bike was ready for a test run. I had no idea how to even start building it. She's 14. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 769

You deserved it 2 546

Ochi_fml 0

Friday 5 February 2010 12:16

lol, that is funny!

azurablade 0

Friday 5 February 2010 12:16

ew?

Comments

happypapp12 0

Friday 5 February 2010 12:56

LOL lmao rofl

gatorgrl1988 0

Friday 5 February 2010 13:01

strummin Dan base mon

amira101 20

Friday 5 February 2010 13:03

maybe you should've said wheelie instead of get it up just say. lmao

perdix 29

Friday 5 February 2010 14:38

He'd probably try to say "Pop a wheelie" but it would come out as "pop a cherry," and we just had that FML a few hours ago!

Boddmon 0

Friday 5 February 2010 15:54

lol in which case he would/should have gotten off his bike, came over to the car and said to the mother "okay!" pushed the mother aside and done the 16 year old. Then plead innocent to rape charges because the mother told him to do it!

LucasaB 0

Friday 5 February 2010 13:14

 It's you're retard! 

DynamicDave 11

Friday 5 February 2010 13:43

#16. my thoughts exactly.

ImaginaryFoe 0

Friday 5 February 2010 13:52

Um, you're a man? So you got pwnd by a bisexual biker in front of your faughter? That is an FML

Freeze_fml 16

Friday 5 February 2010 14:18

Luke, I am your faughter!

kev08326 1

Friday 5 February 2010 14:04

lmfao

perdix 29

Friday 5 February 2010 14:05

The good news he'd probably let you ride his motorcycle while he rides your daughter. He'd probably trade you his helmet for a jimmy hat -- just consider his gesture to be a loan, but yours an outright gift ;)

heeheehoo 0

Friday 5 February 2010 14:13

I don't understand half the things perdix says. is he really that funny?

BigLostBear 0

Friday 5 February 2010 14:20

he is funny sometimes, other times it's like Meh.

perdix 29

Friday 5 February 2010 14:20

Yes. Yes, I am. What don't you understand? Urban dictionary can be a great friend.

SeedlessMe 13

Friday 5 February 2010 14:37

Yeah, seriously what didn't you understand heeheehoo? maybe you're just not that bright...

SeedlessMe 13

Friday 5 February 2010 14:39

weird- why'd it only post half.....

SeedlessMe 13

Friday 5 February 2010 14:41

Cthulu 0

Friday 5 February 2010 15:22

Yes he is. His brand of humor sometimes requires thinking, actual usage of that dormant organ resting in your skull, so you may not understand it.

SeeBrendenBurn 0

Friday 5 February 2010 15:42

The dominant organ isn't in my skull, it's in my scrotum.

o0XMzMayX0o 0

Friday 5 February 2010 17:12

I agree he is funny!! and you got to think wat he is saying sometimes, but if I get it Hun so can u!

jillz 0

Friday 5 February 2010 20:25

I read somewhere else that Perdix is taken though :( ....so get off his dick already! :p (kidding)

perdix 29

Saturday 6 February 2010 1:56

No, no, no, no, no. Stay on it! I'll let you know when it is safe to disembark! ;)

perdix 29

Saturday 6 February 2010 5:13

Sorry, the license didn't go through. We're just engaged now. Gotta wait til you move to Texas and turn 17.

perdix 29

Monday 8 February 2010 7:20

I was hoping for polygyny, but I'll settle for polygamy in 8-1/2 months. That ought to give me time to train my sperm at the Michael Phelps Swimming Academy so they can beat the other dude's baby batter to your eggs!