Miscellaneous: Today, I was in the toilet when somebody started banging on the...

By thisisbad - 12/10/2009 14:21 - Malaysia

Today, I was in the toilet when somebody started banging on the door loudly. I panicked and immediately cleaned my self and opened the door. As I opened the door, my brother vomited all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 996

You deserved it 2 789

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Same thing different taste

Little shit

By Anonymous - 31/12/2022 18:00 - United States - Fpo

Today, I took my brother to the bathroom at a restaurant. The stall next to mine was locked, so I assumed he was still in there. I yelled his name a few times, then banged on the door out of annoyance. I gave up and returned to the table, where he was sitting with a grin. Turns out I just traumatized a poor lady in the stall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 625

You deserved it 391

By thanksbro - 28/09/2009 00:10 - United States

Today, I came home from school and ran to the nearest bathroom to go #2. In my hurry, I forgot to shut the door so I asked my older brother who was walking by to close it for me. After a while he didn't respond, so I looked up to see not my brother, but his best friend watching me take a crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 846

You deserved it 20 580

You OK in there?

By stinkypants - 10/11/2011 03:15 - India

Today, I went to a dinner party. I had a bad stomach, so I made a dash to the bathroom and forgot to lock the door. While I was in, I heard some voices outside. In a panic, my reflex was to get up and lock the door. I did so, while simultaneously shitting all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 788

You deserved it 11 866

By FullMonty - 15/09/2012 23:26 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, my 2-year-old sister walked in on me while I was showering. She began to splash around in the toilet, and as I hastily jumped out to stop her, my brother and his friend got a good look as they walked past the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 078

You deserved it 3 995

By beccabooyah - 20/11/2011 00:52 - United States

Today, I was using the bathroom and checking Facebook on my phone. As I'm checking my newsfeed, I noticed a new photo upload by my brother. I guess I forgot to properly shut the door to the bathroom, because it's me on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 744

You deserved it 38 699

We could be heroes

By OhPleaseNo - 07/04/2020 14:00 - OhPleaseNo

Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 711

You deserved it 204

By whymyroomthough - 06/08/2014 22:18 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I woke up because of a weird noise. Scared, I turned on my bedside lamp. I saw my older, 17-year-old brother peeing in my bedroom doorway. He was hoping I'd step in it in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 201

You deserved it 3 230

Freakout

By Anonymous - 09/05/2014 22:03 - South Africa

Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I jumped out of bed in panic and rushed into the bathroom, only to see my sister limping around in the nude. She'd just jumped out of the shower because someone had flushed the toilet downstairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 334

You deserved it 4 322

By not a shitty situation so fuck you - 24/06/2016 22:52 - United States - San Francisco

Today, in a public toilet, I got to experience a guy high out of his mind kicking in my locked stall door and puking all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 851

You deserved it 773

By Anonymous - 31/10/2009 19:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 774

You deserved it 6 758

OuchThatsHarsh 0

Monday 12 October 2009 20:02

How in the world did you fit in the toilet?

mickeyroxsox 2

Thursday 10 February 2011 7:21

it's called a joke. get a clue.

Comments

catbutt 0

Monday 19 October 2009 1:39

You should have said "I'm in here".

Wlollpop 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 3:12

get out of the toilet...

samson111 0

Tuesday 13 April 2010 8:55

same as 2 were you in the toliet or on it

VolleyballSMASH 1

Tuesday 6 July 2010 6:26

you were in th toilet???

mickeyroxsox 2

Thursday 10 February 2011 7:20

you panicked because someone knocked on the door? tell them to wait til you're done

damara3 0

Friday 7 October 2011 8:40

Thats rough, bro.

babydoll138 5

Saturday 23 February 2013 19:38

Awh I'm so sorry bro.

dogger2001 6

Wednesday 3 April 2013 4:13

being IN the toilet is easy. lift up the seat and put your ass in the water

Meghet 9

Sunday 17 January 2016 5:21

My worst nightmare...

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The Top

Today, while my boyfriend and I were on a picnic date out in the country, things got a little heated. When we were switching positions, he screamed and started running around. Turns out neither of us noticed the beehive in the tree above us until his dick got stung. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 297

You deserved it 1 134

Today, my parents were helping me construct my bed. We ended up not having enough screws to properly secure the frame. My dad mentioned that it might cause problems if I got a girl into my bed. My mom said, "Don't worry about it, we all know that's not going to happen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 597

You deserved it 9 210

The Top

Today, while having a screaming argument with my son in our front yard, I suddenly realized we are "that white trash family" in the neighborhood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 326

You deserved it 41 358

Today, my parents wouldn't stop making fun of my shy bladder by camping out in front of the bathroom door while I’m trying to pee. As a result, I haven’t peed in 10 hours and my bladder is going to explode. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 026

You deserved it 174

Today, I walked into the house only to be greeted by the strongest smell of dung. I asked my mom about it, and it turns out she's been airing these strange herbs throughout the house, most of which are in my bedroom. She won't let me open the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 744

You deserved it 2 120

Today, my ultra-conservative aunt got rip-roaring drunk at a family barbecue and told everyone that I'm a "raging homosexual" with a lack a moral compass, all because I kissed a male friend at a high school party about 20 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 052

You deserved it 187

Today, at a family dinner, my mother-in-law talked me into showing off some moves that I've learned in martial arts. I gently did a restraining hold on her. She screamed that I was trying to break her wrists, and kept the wounded act up all night, smirking as everyone gave me death glares. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 584

You deserved it 5 227

Today, I totalled my car. I flipped it over on the freeway and broke my collarbone in the process. I was in extreme pain and unable to move. It took the ambulance an hour to get there in rush hour traffic. The song repeating on my iPod was, "Don't Worry, be Happy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 129

You deserved it 5 609