Intimacy: Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, telling him how...

By fml - 12/08/2011 06:14 - Canada

Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, telling him how much I loved him. His answer? "Less lovin' more humpin'." This happens every single time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 854

You deserved it 30 571

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Same thing different taste

Humping

By needanotherbed - 28/05/2014 14:21 - United Kingdom - Ipswich

Today, I climbed into bed with my sleeping boyfriend after a long shift at work. He immediately rolled over, clamped my leg between his knees, and started viciously humping it. This is the fourth time now, and he still doesn't believe that he even does it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 413

You deserved it 6 196

By dummy - 17/02/2012 00:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 733

You deserved it 5 665

Exercise One

By blah - 02/06/2020 23:00

Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend, he started humping my leg and said, "I'm gonna hump the fatness out of you and make you beautiful." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 310

You deserved it 436

Not helping

By Anonymous - 19/06/2022 06:00 - Spain

Today, i told my boyfriend that I wasn't feeling emotionally well, and wanted cuddles. He proceeded to hump my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 915

You deserved it 1 303

By Anonymous - 14/03/2011 19:16 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 960

You deserved it 14 588

A little higher, dude

By Anonymous - 04/04/2022 14:00

Today, I was laying in bed with my boyfriend. He started caressing me, his eyes were closed, and he said, “I love touching your boobs.” Which was actually a roll of fat on my stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 075

You deserved it 523

By jonnah - 05/03/2010 13:06 - Canada

Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. His response? "Is that why you have been so clingy and annoying lately?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 682

You deserved it 5 293

By Anonymous - 19/06/2014 14:33 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 675

You deserved it 8 434

By Anonymous - 01/04/2011 04:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 732

You deserved it 36 358

By yoked - 18/12/2009 03:48 - United States

Today, while lying in bed with my wife, I asked her if she still loved me. Her reply "Sometimes". This I know is true because she instantly rolled over and farted on my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 192

You deserved it 4 640

silly_kitten 9

Friday 12 August 2011 16:14

That's when you say "Less humpin' more dumpin'."

zebraface 15

Friday 12 August 2011 16:08

Ditch his ass

Comments

evilangel1220 0

Saturday 20 August 2011 1:01

Please tell me he's an ex now!!!

alexdeka 1

Sunday 21 August 2011 3:41

What a dick

randomemoperson 0

Wednesday 24 August 2011 7:23

Wow... He's a keeper!

wasdadeal 0

Wednesday 24 August 2011 10:58

Haha instant classic

Carian01 0

Sunday 28 August 2011 11:31

YDI for not breaking up with him the first time he said it.

UsagiArwen 23

Wednesday 31 August 2011 0:25

I'm torn between votes on this one. Totally FYL that he's actually got the audacity to say that to you and treat you like you're only worth loveless sex, but even more so I gotta say that YDI for sticking around with the jerk. Why are you with this guy if he only treats you like a cut of meat and shushes you when you try to get intimate in your own way?