Love: Today, I was lying on the bed with my boyfriend. We were watching...

By Sarah91 - 13/10/2008 08:23

Today, I was lying on the bed with my boyfriend. We were watching his cell phone when an automatic reminder message came on the screen: "Do not forget to tell a lie to babe about going out this Friday". FML

I agree, your life sucks 115 500

You deserved it 16 594

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

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Same thing different taste

By marmarr - 15/05/2011 05:20 - United States

Today, I pretended to not be able to go out with a friend so I could hang with my boyfriend at the movies. When I sat down I received a text that said, "Turn around." It was her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 503

You deserved it 70 830

By voltronn - 23/01/2010 05:04 - France

Today, I had to lie to my boyfriend about having plans on tonight so he'd think I had a life outside of him. All my "friends" are going to a party. I'm not invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 036

You deserved it 6 986

By hunnydoll - 18/08/2009 00:16 - United States

Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I was frantically searching for my cell phone. He was curious as to what I was doing so I told him. There was long silence followed by laughter. He could hardly breathe as he told me, "Honey you're on your phone talking to me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 420

You deserved it 81 639

Happy something

By Zebracat - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was watching TV and started freaking out thinking I forgot to wish my boyfriend a happy anniversary. I wrote him a text and after I'd sent it, I realized that the date is mine and my ex's anniversary date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 473

You deserved it 56 903

By turning red - 27/07/2013 01:14 - United States

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 440

You deserved it 10 311

Red flags all over the place

By DumpedHisAss - 14/10/2009 15:19 - United States

Today, I got a phone call from my boyfriend, who screamed at me for being a f-ing liar and never taking time for him. He'd called my work and knew I wasn't there as I said I'd be. He was right - I was lying. I'd been driving for the past 10 hours to his family's beach house to surprise him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 293

You deserved it 3 777

By Anonymous - 15/03/2010 19:34 - United States

Today, I was in a movie when my boyfriend sent out a mass text saying that he'd just lost his virginity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 402

You deserved it 4 268

By Anonymous - 16/09/2010 04:12 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend who's sick, he told me he felt sleepy due to meds and was going to bed. I jokingly said, "you're going to call your other girlfriend, aren't you?" There was silence before I heard, "you weren't supposed to find out like this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 334

You deserved it 4 517

By cek4uytp - 25/06/2011 06:02 - United States

Today, my boyfriend caught me in a lie about being on my period. He memorized my menstrual cycle, but still forgot that today is my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 787

You deserved it 18 613

Tori Amos?

By wedeserveeachother - 24/01/2022 11:01 - United States - Federal Way

Today, I made up a lie to my girlfriend so I could go to a club with my friends. My girlfriend told me that she was going to stay in and watch a movie. Guess who I shockingly ran into at the club, with her girlfriends? FML

I agree, your life sucks 223

You deserved it 2 313

SEXMUFFIN21 0

Friday 27 February 2009 5:11

who watches a cell phone? you need to get laid

jennaleighhh 0

Saturday 7 March 2009 13:53

...watching a cellphone? if that isn't the weirdest hobby i've ever heard...

Comments

straymondar 10

Tuesday 3 May 2016 23:06

OP, please respond, but what is your job???

dharmaint 15

Tuesday 3 May 2016 23:58

Either he lied to them or Australia has no crime

embarass 14

Wednesday 4 May 2016 0:38

Be happy that he cares for you And you're probably really reliable and always on time so this one time probably made him think the worst.

biftek_fml 2

Wednesday 4 May 2016 1:35

I call crap on this , have a hard enough time getting the cops in for crimes , but they got their because your alarm didn't go off , spinning a yarn there

trucker2 33

Wednesday 4 May 2016 5:47

You must be pretty important at work, to have such alarming wake up call, not many can compare notes on that one

writergirl1029 17

Wednesday 4 May 2016 7:12

It could have been a welfare check. One of my mom's employees (she's a nurse) show up four hours into her shift or call, so they sent the police out to make sure they weren't dead.