Intimacy: Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he said "I love...

By anonymous - 01/04/2012 18:38 - United States

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he said "I love you, baby." I told him to go deeper, but instead of doing so, he decided to completely kill the mood by stopping and saying it again in a Barry White type voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 590

You deserved it 10 378

Valentine's Day: Love and Maladresse
Discover romantic anecdotes with a touch of awkwardness - because nothing expresses love better than a little discomfort! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 25/10/2014 02:48 - United States - Gainesboro

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. In the heat of the moment, I said his name. He immediately stopped, gave me a deadly serious look and said "Huh? What?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 233

You deserved it 4 937

By dummy - 17/02/2012 00:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 738

You deserved it 5 669

Repetition

By Fuck - 25/02/2015 21:39 - United States - Fowler

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 778

You deserved it 4 443

Bad timing

By KrissyBearr - 31/12/2011 01:36 - United States

Today, while having sex, I told my boyfriend that I loved him. I could feel him go soft inside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 422

You deserved it 10 017

Oh yeah?

By alexis89 - 26/05/2009 16:53 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Attempting to make things a little more exciting, I said in my sexiest voice, "Oh yeah, harder." My boyfriend who apparently doesn't like talking dirty, pulled out and angrily said, "I was trying, what more do you want?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 546

You deserved it 20 200

Excuuuuuuse me?

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 13:32 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 494

You deserved it 11 512

By picturemenakedbaby - 21/07/2009 10:42 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 975

You deserved it 12 731

By not impressed - 09/10/2015 18:27 - Canada - Nanaimo

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 332

You deserved it 4 608

Pick your moments, dude!

By Anonymous - 11/10/2019 00:01

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic night. As we were having sex, he decided to say, "Look mom, no hands!" and it totally ruined the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 914

You deserved it 346

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 316

You deserved it 2 764

micahsmommy 13

Monday 2 April 2012 2:53

Perhaps he was hoping you'd say "I love you" back rather than "go deeper".

mikeymayhem_87 15

Monday 2 April 2012 2:53

You did say go deeper, you just didn't specify how! Lol

Comments

htownpostman 16

Sunday 8 April 2012 13:42

Go deeper.. What if he said make it tighter?

karmicsamadi86 9

Sunday 8 April 2012 16:23

That's hilarious. You should definitely keep him!!

FukUrDreamz 0

Monday 9 April 2012 8:36

Alotta ******!!

LadyyDimplz 0

Tuesday 10 April 2012 1:10

i would kick my boyfriends ass and not offer sex for a long time lol

BenTaz 7

Sunday 15 July 2012 18:10

LMAO XD

damoki 8

Tuesday 31 July 2012 21:33

Hahahaha! Awesome! He has a great sense of humor!

MeleeManMarguu 4

Friday 5 October 2012 11:59

lol, hes hilarious! its a joke from the 2nd austin powers film when hes giving felicity shagwell a massage. watch it if you dont believe me

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The Top

Today, I finally got past my anxiety and confessed my feelings to the guy I like and have been intimate with. He responded that he just still wants to be close friends with me and still bang me monogamously, but with no relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 103

You deserved it 534

Today, I gave my boyfriend an ultimatum: me, the girl who’s been there through thick and thin for the past 2 years, supported him through his unemployment and death of his father, and who cooks and cleans for him every day, or the girl coworker who he’s been emotionally cheating on me with. Guess who he chose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 624

You deserved it 184

The Top

Today, my significant other woke at 4:30 a.m. to me crying about a spider in the bathroom. I have an intense fear of spiders; he was super nice and took care of it for me. He even walked me out to my car. I started to calm down driving to work, but when I got there what do I see on the door handle but a spider. I'm still shaking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 452

Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 702

You deserved it 4 398

Today, I got into a car accident that was my fault. The other driver was my professor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 544

You deserved it 1 737

Today, I learned that you can be qualified for a position, be a nice person and enthusiastic about working, but as soon as the boss has a relative looking for a job, nepotism wins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 442

You deserved it 2 794

Today, after starting my new career as a server, two women were kind enough to leave a $5 tip… while still owing $6.84 on their bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 635

You deserved it 165

Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 614

You deserved it 3 316