Intimacy: Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It... - FML

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By Anonymous - 22/03/2011 05:54 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 557

You deserved it 29 661

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Same thing different taste

Defeated

By Anonymous - 01/07/2012 23:08

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 179

You deserved it 5 459

Knock next time please

By Anonymous - 09/11/2020 21:32 - India

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 986

You deserved it 814

By Anonymous - 04/03/2010 10:06 - United States

Spicy

Today, my mom walked in on me and my boyfriend having sex. She was completely embarrassed (as was I) and she flew out of the room. My boyfriend, on the other hand, still wanted to finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 425

You deserved it 20 739

By Rob - 07/11/2018 03:00

Today, I was in my bedroom with my boyfriend and we were kissing. My mom then came into my room and started shouting at my boyfriend for cheating on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 879

You deserved it 402

Timing

By kay_jay1819 - 19/11/2010 05:04 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had great sex and afterward decided to take a shower together. He left the room to get some towels, so I went to the bathroom and wait. I walked out of his room wearing nothing but a thong and ran into his mom who had come home from work early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 011

You deserved it 33 490

Lock it up

By stickyface - 24/10/2010 05:18 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I decided to be adventurous and give my boyfriend head in the downstairs TV room. Just as he was about to come, I heard someone walking towards the door. I took my mouth off to get up and lock the door right as he came. I didn't make it to the door but my dad saw something he will never forget. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 066

You deserved it 41 831

By Anonymous - 05/04/2011 18:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and we were just about to kiss. Until his mum walked in saying his girlfriend was at the door. I thought I was already there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 878

You deserved it 5 298

By keepsmiling - 02/09/2009 11:19 - France

Spicy

Today, I thought it would be sexy to surprise my boyfriend by hiding in the closet naked and pouncing on him as he came to get his pants. I never got to the pouncing. Apparently my boyfriend has heightened reflexes so instead I got slapped hard across the face. My ear is still ringing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 417

You deserved it 47 618

By cutiekenz21 - 31/07/2011 00:45 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend's mother walked in on us having sex. He started crying and ran into the bathroom where my clothes were located, leaving me to deal with his mother. Naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 828

You deserved it 8 383

By BigBangrocksthenight - 03/04/2010 00:31 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. Things got kind of heated, so he decided to take off my bra. They cooled back down when a bug flew out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 610

You deserved it 10 476

Next

Top comments

jeepster7874 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 11:40

headshot! plus 50 points!

muchagente 5

Tuesday 22 March 2011 11:45

well done. that will teach her to knock and wait for an answer.

Comments

liebestoter753 5

Tuesday 22 March 2011 17:46

that's what she gets for not knocking hah

PurpleWaffles 2

Tuesday 22 March 2011 17:51

lock the door next time(: and how is slinging a bra sexy? weird-ohh(:

jfarrow9703 11

Tuesday 22 March 2011 18:35

It was probably just a training bra anyway!!! No achievements for that!!!

alissa_roar 6

Tuesday 22 March 2011 18:57

Embarrassing.

dvldoc 1

Tuesday 22 March 2011 19:24

Score

MoxyMo 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 19:28

Hahaha so how'd that end for you? xp

napiiboy 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 19:52

You shouldve asked her to join...

scramron 2

Tuesday 22 March 2011 19:58

did she comment on your ****

zeeshanmukhida 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 20:27

fyl for sure

Zuckmycuck 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 20:46

this just made me extremely horny

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The Top

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents. My dad thought it'd be hilarious to act surprised and ask me if I'd already dumped the girlfriend I introduced him to yesterday. She slapped me and stormed out of the house before my dad could tell her it was a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 472

You deserved it 2 615

Today, after years struggling with obesity, alcoholism, and mental illness, I finally decided I'd fixed myself up enough to try dating. The first girl I went out with said, "You're 31 and you've never dated? Sorry to break it to you, but nobody's going to want to walk a 31-year-old through Dating 101." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 347

You deserved it 212

The Top

Today, my wife has video of me asleep on the sofa, clearly having a vivid sex dream, with a raging erection, ending with me having an orgasm that soaked through the front of my shorts, leaving a wet spot, which she helpfully zoomed in on just to really illustrate my shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 634

You deserved it 183

Today, after I'd spent all summer creating lesson plans for the fall, I'm finally ready for new students. I'd tested all my lessons with summer school students, who loved them because it taught them to think differently about how to use a computer. My boss told me I can't use it because students won't like it, even though they already did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 918

You deserved it 224

Today, I discovered that I'm adopted. How? After a great lunch, I asked my uncle how he'd made the salad dressing. He replied, "Haha! It's a secret family recipe, my dear!" I wouldn't have thought twice about it, were it not for my parents' shocked expressions, and the long, awkward silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 271

You deserved it 2 091

Today, in the spirit of Halloween and to get back at a child who repeatedly pressed the doorbell until I showed up, I quickly opened the door and yelled "Boo!" The child ended up being carried away crying with wet pants by a mother threatening to sue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 059

You deserved it 5 259

Today, I found out I have to have an operation. This will be the third in 3 years, all for completely unrelated reasons. I'm only 26 and apparently my body is already falling apart at the seams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 829

You deserved it 149

Today, while getting ready to go to bed, I told my boyfriend that I feel depressed due to the lack of intimacy in our relationship. His response was to roll over, fall asleep, and send a deadly fart my way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 321

You deserved it 3 890