Intimacy: Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It...

By Anonymous - 22/03/2011 05:54 - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 539

You deserved it 29 644

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Defeated

By Anonymous - 01/07/2012 23:08

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 165

You deserved it 5 454

Knock next time please

By Anonymous - 09/11/2020 21:32 - India

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 969

You deserved it 794

By Anonymous - 04/03/2010 10:06 - United States

Today, my mom walked in on me and my boyfriend having sex. She was completely embarrassed (as was I) and she flew out of the room. My boyfriend, on the other hand, still wanted to finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 412

You deserved it 20 722

By Rob - 07/11/2018 03:00

Today, I was in my bedroom with my boyfriend and we were kissing. My mom then came into my room and started shouting at my boyfriend for cheating on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 861

You deserved it 401

Timing

By kay_jay1819 - 19/11/2010 05:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had great sex and afterward decided to take a shower together. He left the room to get some towels, so I went to the bathroom and wait. I walked out of his room wearing nothing but a thong and ran into his mom who had come home from work early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 999

You deserved it 33 480

Lock it up

By stickyface - 24/10/2010 05:18 - Canada

Today, I decided to be adventurous and give my boyfriend head in the downstairs TV room. Just as he was about to come, I heard someone walking towards the door. I took my mouth off to get up and lock the door right as he came. I didn't make it to the door but my dad saw something he will never forget. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 059

You deserved it 41 813

By Anonymous - 05/04/2011 18:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and we were just about to kiss. Until his mum walked in saying his girlfriend was at the door. I thought I was already there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 867

You deserved it 5 294

By keepsmiling - 02/09/2009 11:19 - France

Today, I thought it would be sexy to surprise my boyfriend by hiding in the closet naked and pouncing on him as he came to get his pants. I never got to the pouncing. Apparently my boyfriend has heightened reflexes so instead I got slapped hard across the face. My ear is still ringing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 408

You deserved it 47 604

By cutiekenz21 - 31/07/2011 00:45 - United States

Today, my boyfriend's mother walked in on us having sex. He started crying and ran into the bathroom where my clothes were located, leaving me to deal with his mother. Naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 804

You deserved it 8 376

By BigBangrocksthenight - 03/04/2010 00:31 - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. Things got kind of heated, so he decided to take off my bra. They cooled back down when a bug flew out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 597

You deserved it 10 473

jeepster7874 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 11:40

headshot! plus 50 points!

muchagente 5

Tuesday 22 March 2011 11:45

well done. that will teach her to knock and wait for an answer.

Comments

brandon161994 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 21:08

wow I wonder wut she said after lol

natetheman14 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 21:21

haha lol that's a good one

CarleeBugg123 5

Tuesday 22 March 2011 22:13

GOAL!!

pablothepenguin 2

Tuesday 22 March 2011 22:24

Search and Destroy? No. More like an insane version of one in the chamber only got one chance and you don't get it right -______- FHL

pablothepenguin 2

Tuesday 22 March 2011 22:26

You should've made it about a killstreak!

ZzjayrodzZ 3

Tuesday 22 March 2011 22:52

oh man, I can't imagine her reaction.

xx_kaelen_xx 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 23:01

haha that's awesome!! xD

muffinlizzie 7

Tuesday 22 March 2011 23:02

All I can say is by god that's an epic win right there.

traviskashi 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 23:18

its called a lock

Rahnt 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 23:18

Oh my god that's amazing! Totally made my night reading this :D

Keywords

Love Party Lonely Awkward ADHD Transportation Cars Ironic Vacation Work Mental health Miscellaneous Grandparents Accident Covid Health Kids Annoying Cute Shopping Coworkers Dogs Animals Photography Art Videos Exhausted Sex Intimacy Money

The Top

Today, I ran into my ex at the mall. He’s married, with a 2 year-old. Three years ago he ended our 6-year relationship because he said he didn’t believe in marriage and kids. Sorry for not being good enough to achieve those things with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 125

You deserved it 223

Today, my girlfriend offered to roleplay as a sexy nun, then dumped me, claiming my saying yes meant I was attacking her catholic faith and that I’m a sick, depraved criminal. She was the one who offered. I’m not remotely interested in roleplay, I only agreed cause I thought it was her kink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 695

You deserved it 133

The Top

Today, I blacked out going up a roller coaster. Instead of helping me, my friend took pictures of my face and posted them on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 312

You deserved it 7 412

Today, while standing in line at the grocery store, I noticed that myself and the woman in front of me were wearing the same shirt. As she was about to leave, I said to her "Hey! I'm wearing that shirt!" She turned to me and replied, "Not in THIS size you aren't." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 222

You deserved it 10 894

Today, my friend stole my phone to call the creepy boy that follows me around at school. I wouldn't have been so bothered if she hadn't had phone sex with him, all while pretending to be me. He got so into it, he now thinks we're a couple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 996

You deserved it 6 342

Today, my girlfriend, who I've been dating for over a year, was going to Florida for a short trip with a few friends without me since I couldn't get work off. She asked me to put her iPod in her bag for her as she was almost ready to walk out the door. That's when I saw she'd packed 10 condoms with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115 991

You deserved it 6 324

Today, I was Skyping with this kid, when his girlfriend started arguing with him. They do this every other week, and there was a bet on when they'd finally break up. I egged the guy on and told him not to take her shit. She ended up dumping him. Now I feel like an asshole, and all for a lousy $20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 215

You deserved it 47 250

Today, after waiting a week for an update on my car after the engine blew, all covered by warranty, I was informed that my car is under investigation for warranty fraud. This is its fourth engine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 903

You deserved it 116