Intimacy: Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while,...

By sn-511 - 01/03/2013 22:54 - Italy - Naples

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 031

You deserved it 5 993

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Same thing different taste

Classically Abby

By shesanexnow - 19/08/2022 22:00

Today, my girlfriend screamed that I was a "filthy, sex-crazed pig-man" because I grabbed her ass. We were in her house, alone, and she was in the middle of giving me a long, deep kiss after I'd gotten off work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 327

You deserved it 209

Night terror

By unlovedandunfucked - 10/12/2014 18:16 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I woke up from a wet dream. My girlfriend quickly figured it out and bitched me out for having one when she was "right there" for me to ask for sex. Logic failure aside, the last time I flirted with her, she called me a sex-obsessed pig and didn't talk to me for three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 763

You deserved it 4 560

By shallowvomit1013 - 23/12/2009 01:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend came over to my house. Hoping to get a little action, i started to make out with her. Unfortunately I was wearing basketball shorts so when I got an erection all she did was bat it back forth like a cat toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 038

You deserved it 5 426

Hey good lookin'

By Anonymous - 18/07/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, a "friend" mentioned that my husband was "yummy", then asked if she could "have a turn" with him. I left and went home, outraged. When I told my husband, he couldn't conceal his stupid horny grin, and immediately tried to initiate sex. Pig. FML

I agree, your life sucks 279

You deserved it 530

By Anonymous - 14/03/2013 16:59 - Germany - Dortmund

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 728

You deserved it 10 555

By Anonymous - 24/04/2013 18:56 - United States - Huntington Park

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 461

You deserved it 9 862

Smooth talker

By ugh - 31/01/2012 00:25 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 967

You deserved it 5 603

By shit.... - 08/11/2012 18:25 - Malaysia - Kuala Selangor

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 634

You deserved it 31 360

Confusing

By so confused - 09/12/2023 15:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she was sexually frustrated. Naturally, I started coming on to her, only for her to shove me away and snap that just because she was sexually frustrated, it didn't mean that she wanted sex. Huh? FML

I agree, your life sucks 436

You deserved it 217

By arctic1 - 27/05/2009 09:45 - United States

Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 324

You deserved it 68 694

6tori6 5

Saturday 2 March 2013 2:57

yet she is the one who put her hand down your crotch...

HandaPitler 1

Saturday 2 March 2013 2:57

Women, usually assuming we want to have sex just because we have a boner. i feel your pain op. my ex was the exact same way

Comments

Shepardspie71 8

Saturday 2 March 2013 20:24

Ok she needs to be taught how intimacy works. She sounds like a dumbass.

ni0ve 9

Saturday 2 March 2013 20:56

why she touchinf

janro72 10

Saturday 2 March 2013 21:58

maybe she wanted to give you an erection a different way...

CreeperIRL 14

Saturday 2 March 2013 22:56

She was playing hard to get

AllegroRubato 16

Saturday 2 March 2013 23:45

Hahahaha Oh man, I feel for you, OP. Crazy girlfriends! what'chu gonna do? :)

ao9s7yashdun 7

Sunday 3 March 2013 0:46

Wow. She doesn't understand how simple the male equipment really is.

accursedvenom 1

Sunday 3 March 2013 2:52

wtf did she expect to find when she put her hand there?

xmaximusx 12

Sunday 3 March 2013 6:12

What was she touching your dick for then? Shes that much of a tease, good luck putting up with that shit

RKD 23

Sunday 3 March 2013 7:00

Can you say, "ex-girlfriend", anybody?

adam_night 9

Sunday 3 March 2013 7:23

Hey it's not your fault! Those things got a mind of there own!

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I agree, your life sucks 7 600

You deserved it 1 542

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 989

You deserved it 320

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I agree, your life sucks 29 720

You deserved it 39 684

Today, a thirty-something guy swaggered into my workplace. He was wearing shutter shades and torn jeans, and claimed to be our new boss. I called security to throw him out, at which point he produced his ID and let me know I'd be attending an employee review session next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 910

You deserved it 8 177

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I agree, your life sucks 10 608

You deserved it 43 979

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I agree, your life sucks 48 628

You deserved it 3 794

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I agree, your life sucks 17 220

You deserved it 36 435