Transportation: Today, I was on a bike ride when a bug flew into my eye. Not...

By Anonymous - 17/05/2009 05:17 - United States

Today, I was on a bike ride when a bug flew into my eye. Not wanting to stop, I figured I would just keep that eye closed until I could cry it out. Five seconds later, a bug flew into my other eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 964

You deserved it 8 695

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Same thing different taste

By ow - 04/09/2010 23:43 - United States

Today, while I was running in a cross country meet, a bug flew into my right eye. Then, a bug flew into my left eye. Not wanting to lose a neck-and-neck sprint, I tried to run blind. I hit a pole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 596

You deserved it 8 937

By stupidbug. - 09/04/2012 08:28 - Canada

Today, I thought it would be funny to pee on a small bug in the toilet. A much larger bug thought it would be funny to fly into my eye while I was doing this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 976

You deserved it 37 010

Played a blinder

By hereforfmls - 26/12/2019 05:00 - United States - Jasper

Today, I felt something hit my eye as I was riding on my bike. My glasses ended up falling off. I looked for them for ten minutes before giving up. I ran over them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 599

You deserved it 425

By Knaxer - 12/12/2015 17:22 - United States - Silver Spring

Today, I was riding my motorcycle when a guy cut me off at a light. I honked and swore at him when a bug flew into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 984

You deserved it 6 583

Free glasses for all

By Kat - 12/02/2022 12:01 - New Zealand - Gisborne

Today, as I was hanging washing out in the sun, a huge cicada flew into my face and somehow got behind my glasses. I screamed and ripped them off and ran away. I came back to a broken pair of VERY expensive glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 809

You deserved it 404

Fancy a pint?

By Anonymous - 04/09/2020 22:02 - United States - Tyler

Today, while I was relaxing outside drinking a beer after a long day, a moth decided to fly right into my ear canal. I instinctively threw my hand up to swat it out. With the same hand holding the beer. I soaked the side of my face and down my ear. At least I got the bug out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 998

You deserved it 315

Protein source

By Anonymous - 13/08/2021 17:01 - United States - Chicago

Today, a gnat hit my forehead, fell into the space between my glasses and my face, and bounced off my eye while trying desperately to escape. When I tried to get my glasses off, it fell into my mask instead, and I accidentally inhaled it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 900

You deserved it 157

By Anonymous - 15/08/2015 15:20 - United States

Today, just as I was putting my contacts in, a gnat landed on it. Its guts got squished between my eyeball and the contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 817

You deserved it 1 934

By Anonymous - 04/09/2014 06:44 - United States - Saginaw

Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 543

You deserved it 3 838

Blow it

By Anonymous - 22/10/2021 01:59

Today, I reached to pick out a booger stuck in my nose that had been irritating me, and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 725

Vintage_fml 0

Sunday 17 May 2009 12:19

ROFL double penetration

24788 6

Sunday 17 May 2009 12:09

Lol, I wonder the odds of that happening.

Comments

chocolaholic 0

Thursday 13 May 2010 1:23

Wear sunglasses, idiot.

freaksilly 0

Friday 13 August 2010 10:10

and you read them all, didn't you?

Scottz 0

Sunday 27 February 2011 6:26

Twin tower suicide bombing

mrlopez 13

Friday 2 September 2011 15:17

Um... like stop one side and clear it out before you become a road hazard?

jrenf 8

Monday 9 December 2013 1:24

ydi. wear goggles or glasses next time

lkb307 21

Wednesday 18 December 2013 23:30

ever heard of.glasses moron

worldclassrager 39

Thursday 10 July 2014 8:25

Well I guess you have to stop...unless you know the bike trail so well you can do it eyes closed

Kidd_Ant 18

Friday 20 May 2016 23:49

I now remember why this is the first FML I favorited lol.

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Here's the latest video from our friends at 10secondtraumas.com, enjoy! Kay Akana, co-founder of 10secondtraumas.com, is also a stand-up comedian in LA. Do go and check out her performances, she did manage to make us lot laugh! ...

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 33

Today, I called off my engagement because I fell in love with my best friend of 10 years since we recently reconnected. I confessed my feelings to her and asked her out. She rejected me and said she only sees me as a friend. Now I’m completely single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 4 080

The Top

Today, I got to work in the ER at the local hospital. A lady came in with high blood sugar. She was concerned because the same thing happened to her husband. I reassured her, telling her she'd be back with her husband in an hour or so. Her husband died four years ago from something similar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 494

You deserved it 7 609

Today, a basketball opponent ran into my elbow and hurt himself. He called me to the hospital and, to be a good person, I went to check on him. It turns out he reported me to the police to try and get money out of me. Now I'm stuck at the station while they “investigate”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 569

You deserved it 252

Today, I found myself completely naked, tied to a chair with a slice of ham on each breast. Note to self: never again let my boyfriend make one of his fantasies come true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 598

You deserved it 139

Today, after working 85 hours in a single week, I finally got my paycheck. $500. Apparently I got a pay cut without anyone telling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 156

You deserved it 162

Today, my mom and I tried out Just Dance 2 on the Wii. When we both threw out our hands at the same time, my mom's Wii remote hit my hand and ripped my finger nail. As I stared at the bloody, half hanging off nail, my mom muttered, "You should have stayed in your dance space." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 818

You deserved it 8 856

Today, my two cats, who I'm slowly easing into being together, seem to like the fight they had yesterday. My older cat goes to my new cat's room to mew until I open the door, then lunges at my new cat, and my new cat goes to the barrier until he sees my old cat, and they start their shenanigans again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 749

You deserved it 211