Love: Today, I was on my first date with my crush. When I saw her,...

By firstdate - 24/01/2010 19:32 - United States

Today, I was on my first date with my crush. When I saw her, I greeted her with, "Hey, sweetheart." She's convinced I said, "Hey, retard." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 259

You deserved it 5 325

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Negging

By f*ck - 02/05/2012 16:22 - United States

Today, I had a date with the girl I've been interested in for months. I'm pretty laid-back and casual with my friends, which backfired and caused the date to end with a slap, when I greeted her with a friendly "S'up, slut?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 315

You deserved it 98 425

By SY5623 - 12/08/2015 00:00 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, I got all excited because I thought my crush was flirting with me, when in actuality she was taking advantage of me liking her so she and her friends could make fun of my speech impediment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 882

You deserved it 1 933

By Disappointed - 26/05/2016 20:27 - Canada - Niagara Falls

Today, I started dating my crush. Turns out she's a living nightmare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 198

You deserved it 2 724

By nikto - 03/06/2011 01:01

Today, I went speed dating. I arrived at my first date and she looked me up and down and said, "Oh, that's awkward." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 045

You deserved it 3 957

By clairebear104 - 19/09/2014 03:15 - United States - Louisville

Today, I went on a blind date. My date would respond to me by saying "retweet" and "favorite" when she thought something was relatable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 219

You deserved it 4 100

By Anon - 30/01/2009 11:39 - Canada

Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 342

You deserved it 7 441

By sophistication - 21/08/2009 15:36 - United States

Today, I gathered the courage to ask my crush on a date. As I called her, she quickly answered and said "Can't talk right now, I'm in a movie theater." and then hung up. I'd called her home phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 164

You deserved it 3 240

By negromancer - 11/07/2009 01:08 - United States

Today, I worked up the courage to ask my crush out for coffee after work. She agreed and I confidently said, "Alright, it's a date!" She replied, "Haha, a date with you? I'm just going for the free coffee!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 675

You deserved it 4 387

By hatethatiloveyou - 10/02/2009 00:37 - United States

Today, my crush talked to me for the first time. He told me to stop staring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 942

You deserved it 14 798

By Anonymous - 16/06/2017 14:00

Today, I saw the girl I've been crushing hard on. I go up to talk to her, and I'm immediately greeted by, "I like girls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 568

You deserved it 796

EffMEffinL 0

Monday 25 January 2010 1:19

That reminds me of the time I passed by my friend at school in the hallway, and said, "What's up?" she looked hurt and didn't respond. Later, I asked her why. She thought I said 'Shut up'. Communication Fail.

saranottelling 7

Monday 25 January 2010 1:23

What I really want to know is why you greeted her with "Hey sweetheart" on the1st date. That's more of a 5th-10th date thing. On the 1st-5th dates you greet each other by name. The 10th date and up you start making those really horrible nicknames that make your friends sick each time you use them.

Comments

45yell 0

Monday 25 January 2010 4:02

lul funny 1

Queen_Naiomi 2

Monday 25 January 2010 4:13

@38, you are just mad that no one calls you sweetheart. Guys who call girls that are trying to be nice, I call everyone hun or love just because that is in my nature. But seriously, that is hysterical.

CYNNER 0

Tuesday 26 January 2010 1:50

#40 not hysterical. realistic. my boyfriend calls me beautiful but we've been together for 3 years. first date is a little soon for pet names

539533 0

Monday 25 January 2010 4:13

that's random

ducks4life 0

Monday 25 January 2010 4:14

that bitch is stupid

NyahNyahNyah 2

Monday 25 January 2010 4:43

Embarassing, but funny. FYL

daneeyoll 0

Monday 25 January 2010 4:54

happens

aeslehc_ 0

Monday 25 January 2010 5:54

She IS kind of a retard if she thought that's what you said and can't be convinced otherwise.

saaaammmmm 0

Monday 25 January 2010 5:56

I had an interesting mishearing experience working as a cashier. A foreign man came in and asked for directions. During our very civil discussion he called me a ******. I didn't trust my ears so I ignored it. He said it a few more times but it was so incongruent with the conversation that I ignored it. A few years later a friend that had recently learned English was able to illustrate what had happen. She eloquently asked a teacher if she could go take a "shit." Apparently it is very easy to learn curse words without realizing what they mean when learning a new language.