Transportation: Today, I was on my way home from work and decided to stop at...

By whoops - 11/04/2009 20:43 - United States

Today, I was on my way home from work and decided to stop at the grocery store. I purchased $200 in groceries and went to put them in my car. I then realized I drove my motorcycle today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 417

You deserved it 88 782

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Same thing different taste

By Lou - 01/06/2010 15:59 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to the supermarket; it was taking me ages to walk home because of the heavy food bags. Halfway home, I realised I had gone in my car. I had to walk all the way back to get my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 575

You deserved it 58 705

By dave - 27/10/2009 15:36 - United States

Today, I took a trip to Wal-Mart. There's a car wash that they conveniently built right outside of this Wal-Mart. So as I was leaving, I decided to make use of this car wash, not even thinking about the $200 worth of groceries I had just purchased. I drive a pick-up truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 756

You deserved it 68 635

By Elena - 07/07/2011 23:56 - United States

Today, after having worked two jobs for months to save up for a big vacation, I came home to find my hard-earned money replaced by my boyfriend's brand new motorcycle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 523

You deserved it 6 510

Respect

By Anonymous - 05/03/2023 15:00

Today, I went to the grocery store, but once I'd filled my cart, I realized that I'd forgotten my wallet, and because I'm not the sort of animal who just dumps stuff in random aisles, I had to awkwardly put all my items back on their shelves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 198

By hatesgravity - 02/09/2010 11:40 - United States

Today, after finally getting up the nerve to take my motorcycle to up 75mph on the freeway, I made it off in one piece, only to fall off my bike in the mall parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 929

You deserved it 25 616

By Anonymous - 10/09/2013 07:35 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I bought $250 worth of groceries and was feeling rather good about myself because it's the first time I've been able to do so in months. When I returned home I found my fridge/freezer broken. Most of the food I bought was dairy or frozen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 115

You deserved it 3 816

By parisite - 01/10/2010 08:35 - France

Today, I decided to get some exercise for the first time in months. I went to the store and bought a brand new bicycle and all the necessary paraphernalia. I drove a half hour to a bike trail, unloaded the bike, and started riding. 10 feet later, the chain snapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 167

You deserved it 4 256

By brokeasscollegelife - 20/11/2015 21:25 - United States - Tallahassee

Today, I biked to the store to buy a new lock, since biking is my only form of transportation. I left my bike unattended for the last time, only to come back with a new chain, but no bike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 655

You deserved it 3 458

Biker

By scottskidee - 12/04/2011 17:45 - United States

Today, I had my girlfriend drive me to go buy a motorcycle. I rode it 50 minutes home, got in the drive way, put the kick stand down, and then lost my balance and fell on the other side. I paid $3000 to drop it in the first hour and break the turn signal off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 522

You deserved it 25 071

By getyourownbike - 12/05/2009 23:11 - United States

Today, I rode my bike to the store because I only had a few things to pick up. When I walked back out after five minutes, my bike was stolen. I had gone to the store to buy a new bike lock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 809

You deserved it 12 920

rachel13_fml 0

Sunday 12 April 2009 3:07

HOW DO YOU FORGET SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

some1outthere 0

Sunday 12 April 2009 3:03

LOL at #3. Anyway, how the hell do you forget what you were driving?

Comments

J1bbl3 3

Tuesday 1 June 2010 19:28

I call shananagens, no ones this retarted.

npandeya 0

Sunday 12 June 2011 4:00

Must be a Jersey thing.....

pinkredneck30 2

Friday 8 July 2011 23:44

what were you smoking.... lol

Roxysurf7 1

Friday 29 July 2011 10:28

great job...you must be a genius!!

fuckyouimawesome 1

Wednesday 7 September 2011 22:41

Lololol have fun walking :D

cunningchick 1

Tuesday 7 February 2012 18:00

Find a way, ive carried tiki torches a 12 pack of mountain dew and red solo cups at once while on the back of a motorcycle,

st333ph 12

Tuesday 9 October 2012 1:55

Manly

blackwidowtaco 31

Monday 19 August 2013 21:57

No one is this dumb

lukelax 5

Friday 22 August 2014 22:29

Lol

posierosie 8

Tuesday 3 March 2015 7:06

Take a cab?

Keywords

Love Cute Surprise My ex Texting Awkward Wanker Sex Intimacy Insomnia Health Sleep Mental health Cooking Food Kids Parents Weekend Miscellaneous Pranks Annoying Embarrassing Work Technology Coworkers Zoom Roommate Argument Animals Cats

The Top

Today, I watched as my girlfriend washed the last of the dishes with a dishcloth, then used that same dishcloth to wipe down the counters. I now understand why we always have bugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 261

You deserved it 194

Today, I learned that my insecurities regarding my dick size were unfounded, as my girlfriend gushed over my dick and said it was amazing. We then got down to business, and almost immediately heard, "Ow! Fuck, that's my cervix! This hurts! Stop!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 667

You deserved it 1 211

The Top

Today, I have to take time off from work to take part in an intervention because my sister's obsession with the guy from Harry Potter has crossed over into illegality. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 510

You deserved it 3 472

Today, my boyfriend gave me a gift card for $32 to a local salon. I thought the amount was kind of random, but when I went in I saw that the bikini wax was $32. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 513

You deserved it 13 990

Today, my crush grabbed my butt while I was walking up the stairs. In surprise I farted. He won't even look me in the eyes now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 565

You deserved it 7 671

Today, my dad told me I'm no longer allowed to see my boyfriend. Apparently there is a deer camera above my driveway that snaps pictures whenever it senses movement. Too bad I didn't know that when I was giving my boyfriend head in the driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 384

You deserved it 60 116

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 829

You deserved it 6 342

Today, my computer crashed and corrupted my games files and deleted over 100 hours of saved data. I have to now start all over again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 803

You deserved it 339

Same thing different taste

Respect

Biker

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