Love: Today, I was on the bus heading home from school, when I noticed...

By Anonymous - 10/02/2011 23:32 - United States

Today, I was on the bus heading home from school, when I noticed a ridiculously hot girl near me, checking me out. I was about to say something charmingly funny when I suddenly got a whiff of onions. Turns out she had turned around simply to catch the essence of her own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 150

You deserved it 4 799

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 07/12/2010 04:53 - United States

Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 114

You deserved it 2 563

By Nat3_2020 - 27/01/2015 14:02 - United States

Today, as I walked on to the bus, the girl I liked whispered something to her friend. Curious, I asked what was so funny. She said she never realized that when I got on, I shook the bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 139

You deserved it 3 744

Powerful

By Noguestlist - 02/03/2011 08:16

Today, on the train, a cute girl gave me her number. After maybe half an hour, she went to her seat and I went to the toilet for a quick but loud and painful dump. I opened the door and saw her outside getting bitch-slapped by the smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 571

You deserved it 9 954

By mhm - 06/05/2012 02:21 - Canada - Woodbridge

Today, on the bus, I caught the eye of this ugly, sweaty girl giving me a death stare through the driver's mirror. I gave her a death stare back. Only then I realized I was staring at myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 530

You deserved it 37 452

By john - 28/01/2009 23:02 - United States

Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for 2 years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 851

You deserved it 5 156

By Stinky and Single - 06/08/2015 23:14 - United States

Today, I was sitting in a secluded corner of a coffee shop and felt extremely gassy. Thinking I'd be safe, I let out a pretty nasty smelling fart. Next thing I know, a cute guy is approaching me and asked my name, but all it took was for him to inhale once and he bolted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 772

You deserved it 6 709

By oops - 04/03/2016 21:28 - United States - Mankato

Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 052

You deserved it 3 422

Queasy

By Anonymous - 10/11/2019 01:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, my boss offered to give me a ride on her way home. Two seconds before getting into the car, I had to let out a fart. I didn't think the fart would follow me in, but it did. She rolled down the windows, and we lapsed into a silent, awkward ride home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 686

You deserved it 864

By Chris - 22/10/2009 04:57 - Canada

Today, I was riding the bus home from college. I was standing in the aisle and there was a rather cute girl sitting next to me. The bus came to an abrupt stop, I tripped, and fell into her lap. She shrieked, "Eww! Get off me!" and shove me onto the floor of the bus. Nice to know I'm revolting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 426

You deserved it 4 886

Dinnertime

By u.p.i.c. - 02/08/2019 22:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, the smell of my own fart made me feel hungry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 171

You deserved it 567

JoshTheMaggot 8

Friday 11 February 2011 1:08

Don't you like onions?

SandraGee 7

Friday 11 February 2011 1:36

I guess she made a "pass" at you.

Comments

snoot 0

Friday 11 February 2011 8:32

little too sexy

Ranimal 12

Friday 11 February 2011 9:40

I can't lie, I do find boner's comment pretty entertaining. Keep on keepin on sir.

noneyabiz13 0

Friday 11 February 2011 9:49

How funny is that....

noneyabiz13 0

Friday 11 February 2011 9:51

Funny...

IMveryHUNGRY 3

Friday 11 February 2011 9:57

girls fart?

TheDrop 0

Friday 11 February 2011 10:08

I would love if a girl sat on my face and let out a huge, wet fart

itsbryn 0

Friday 11 February 2011 10:28

seems like you care boners. you're letting them control you by defending yourself. saying you don't care is showing you really do.

dre_bro11 12

Friday 11 February 2011 11:02

then tie a knot in the end of your nose and we have a water bomb with a wicked smelly twist in it.

DoubleEdgedBlade 4

Friday 11 February 2011 11:48

Boners, for added "Dutch Oven" effect, turn up the heat in the car.

BikeAllDay818 6

Friday 11 February 2011 12:21

Ask her out, then marry her

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The Top

Today, I had to share my room with my cousin while she stayed over. I let her take my bed while I slept on the floor. Not only do my back and neck hurt, but I had to clean vomit out of my hair. Apparently, she "wasn't feeling well" last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 765

You deserved it 4 558

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 595

You deserved it 15 094

The Top

Today, my grandma came over for the holidays. She tried explaining how Santa is actually Christ reincarnated, giving presents to all the good little Christian boys and girls. She'll be staying all week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 341

You deserved it 5 173

Today, I found out why I've had cockroaches in my bathroom - my landlord didn't bother to finish the wall behind my bathroom sink. There are literally holes that go straight from my bathroom to the garage downstairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 799

You deserved it 125

Today, I decided to surprise my crush by wishing her happy birthday when she came out of the lift. Too bad she was busy giving someone a blow job and didn’t notice me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 905

You deserved it 617

Today, while at work, a customer came up to me, stuck his finger in my armpit, then licked his finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 296

You deserved it 2 442

Today, after working for 7 hours straight, I sat down for a second to wait for an elevator. My manager told me I wasn't allowed to sit and that I had to get back to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 839

You deserved it 96

Today, I got my first big promotion at work. Excited, I shared the news with my parents. My mom responded with, "That’s nice, dear, but your sister just got engaged," and hung up to go back to celebrating with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 485

You deserved it 107

Same thing different taste

Powerful

Queasy

Dinnertime

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