Intimacy: Today, I was opening up to my close friend about my low self...

By anonymous - 27/11/2009 09:20 - United States

Today, I was opening up to my close friend about my low self esteem. To make me feel better, he told me that he gets a boner whenever he walks behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 337

You deserved it 7 613

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Same thing different taste

By betchyo - 01/10/2009 06:10 - United States

Today, I was talking to my best friend. After admitting to me that he's gay, I gave him a hug for support and comfort, feeling his erection on my upper thigh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 821

You deserved it 5 519

How could you?

By Horndog - 02/04/2022 18:01 - United States - Staten Island

Today, a female friend, who I'm mildly into, was crying into my arms about how tough things have been for her. I'm so touch-starved that I got a boner as I hugged her. She noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 179

You deserved it 348

Pleased to see me?

By Anonymous - 28/10/2011 23:39 - United States

Today, I went over to my friend's house. We were teasing each other, when she stood up and began to jokingly walk away. Trying to be cute, I tried to pull her onto my knee. I miscalculated and she ended up sitting right on my boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 806

You deserved it 20 050

By notgay - 12/02/2013 02:30 - United States - Alfred

Today, I was walking with my friend. The girl in front of us had a really nice ass, so I turned to my friend and said, "Damn, she has a perfect ass." He replied, "That's a guy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 535

You deserved it 39 029

Hit and miss

By KitCatAttack - 11/10/2020 10:06

Today, I told my close friend that I have a thing for him. His reaction? "Oh, fuck." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 062

You deserved it 176

By florisvanlent - 12/02/2009 16:17 - Netherlands

Today, while copying some stuff for school, I felt someone rubbing her boobs against my back. I got a boner and when I looked to see who the hot chick was, I saw my fat friend rubbing his man boobs against my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 597

You deserved it 56 399

By Anonycock - 06/01/2016 17:15 - Qatar - Doha

Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 832

You deserved it 3 909

By Lin - 02/03/2010 05:57 - United States

Today, I was at a concert and an older man offered to let me stand in front of him because I'm short. It wasn't until the show started and people were jumping around did I realize he had a boner and was repeatedly bumping into me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 157

You deserved it 3 029

Fetishes come in all sizes

By unboned - 11/05/2016 17:30 - United States - Katy

Today, my boyfriend got a raging boner while looking around at a gun store. He hasn't had any sexual interest in me in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 614

You deserved it 2 834

By Nikki - 08/06/2019 22:00

Today, I walked into my bathroom to my boyfriend bragging about how much better his butt looked than mine, all while wearing my jeans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 760

You deserved it 263

jw90 18

Friday 27 November 2009 16:36

he's trying to raise your self esteem by letting you know you raise his self esteem :).

qwerty581 0

Friday 27 November 2009 16:17

well that's not a fml in my eye

Comments

schmidttob 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 23:43

sooo? why is that baaad? he's telling you you've got a hott boottyyy!

ash92_fml 0

Friday 5 February 2010 14:33

how is that an fml?

dontclickme 0

Thursday 18 February 2010 4:11

damnn you must have some ass!

calebg23 0

Wednesday 31 March 2010 22:55

ydi for havin a nice ass

frusciant510 0

Friday 23 April 2010 3:58

aww what ay nice friend ;D lol

upintheorange 5

Saturday 15 May 2010 18:27

AWKWARD

fuckass 0

Tuesday 1 June 2010 16:37

His trying to say "you sexay" he should've just said but still...lol

SheoDagana 0

Wednesday 2 June 2010 1:33

A girl with low self-esteem? No. Way. I don't believe it!

gymdiva1 0

Tuesday 24 August 2010 4:58

hows that a FML!!???

Houdeka 0

Thursday 16 September 2010 3:34

I'll molest you from behind don't resist.

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend showed me how he gives himself a semi-erection before he goes into the men's showers after training so his penis will look bigger in front of all the guys. I find it worrying that he won't have sex with me, but has no problem walking around in front of men naked with a semi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 456

You deserved it 4 703

Today, on a movie date with my boyfriend, it took me a while to understand why he was leaning on his elbow during the entire thing. He had an earpiece cupped in his hand and was listening to a soccer match. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 228

You deserved it 1 706

The Top

Today, my dad walked in to the arena where I was watching a hockey game with my boyfriend and his friends. My dad was wearing a crazy grey mohawk wig/hat. Meanwhile, my boyfriend just finished telling me how embarassing it would be to be that guy's kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 201

You deserved it 2 141

Today, I was at the beach walking on the boardwalk without a shirt on. Two cute girls are walking my way and I decide to try and impress them by flexing my abs. While I flexed them, I accidentally let a fart out that everyone heard. Everybody, including the girls, laughed hysterically at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 936

You deserved it 81 863

Today, I discovered my washcloths smelled like mushrooms. As I'm allergic to mold, I panicked and spent all day washing every towel and sheet in the house. At last, I went to take a shower and discovered that the mushroom smell was actually emanating from my $5-a-bar organic soap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 699

You deserved it 2 250

Today, my research partner emails me 2 hours before our deadline saying that she can't complete her half of our 20 page report because when she woke up this morning she couldn't see. How did she write the email? FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 820

You deserved it 2 679

Today, I received more affection from my wife in a video game than I ever have in real life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 482

You deserved it 4 395

Today, my front tooth randomly fell out in the middle of class. I brush regularly and visit the dentist, the tooth was perfectly healthy looking, and it didn’t hurt beforehand or bleed. It literally just fell out for no reason. Now I have a gap grin and I don’t know why. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 035

You deserved it 224