Love: Today, I was out skating with a guy I really like. I put on my...

By Anonymous - 02/03/2011 21:26 - United States

Today, I was out skating with a guy I really like. I put on my best moves, to impress him. I ended up slicing his lip open with my skate mid-jump. His lip is now wired shut by twelve stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 897

You deserved it 36 403

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Same thing different taste

Fore!

By Anonymous - 06/07/2009 06:49 - United States

Today, I was skating with my friends when I decided to go to the gas station to get a pack of cigs. The last thing I remember hearing was, "Look out!" I now have twenty stitches because some idiot bet he could throw a brick farther than another guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 100

You deserved it 8 881

By Vicky - 26/12/2009 20:47 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend went to kiss me as we were walking home. It was very icy and he slipped. His teeth went through my lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 170

You deserved it 2 928

By skating101 - 08/12/2009 02:32 - Canada

Today, I went skating at the local rink. I had a really hard time balancing and was falling all over the place. After everyone had a good laugh, someone finally decided to tell me that one of my blade covers was still on, thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 883

You deserved it 29 096

Ice cold break-up

By Ice cold - 22/11/2012 05:35 - Australia - Cheltenham

Today, my girlfriend decided to break the news that she wanted us to be "just friends." However, she did it not in just any old way - while ice-skating. I'm currently in hospital getting stitches in my arm after I tripped in shock and she ran me over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 408

You deserved it 1 769

By holy sleet - 29/11/2013 21:49 - United States - Rochester

Today, while ice-skating with my girlfriend, I tried to do what they do in the movies and make her gently fall into my arms. Instead she slipped, fell, and hit her head on the ice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 773

You deserved it 41 769

Brained

By Qwizzyk - 24/04/2024 17:00 - Russia - Tula

Today, I was riding my scooter at a skate park. I was wearing a helmet, but I got hot, so I took it off. Within the next minute, I fell off my scooter and cut my head open. I had to get four stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 690

By Anonymous - 07/12/2009 03:32 - United States

Today, it snowed. So, a guy I like and I decided to go sledding. I really wanted to impress him by going down the hill and casually slowing down at the bottom right at his feet. Instead, I crashed into him and broke his ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 844

You deserved it 35 732

Passionate

By Anonymous - 09/10/2020 02:00

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate in an alley. He pushed me up against a wall and started kissing me, but he pushed me so hard I cut open my head and needed 10 stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 137

You deserved it 478

By Anonymous - 21/03/2011 03:34 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was buying a new hockey stick; to test it out he started hitting a ball around the aisle and decided to shoot it back into its bin. Instead the ball hit me dead in the mouth, giving me a fat lip. Instead of consoling me, my boyfriend yelled "GOAL!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 940

You deserved it 6 692

Happy feet

By Penguin Slide - 16/08/2022 04:00 - United States - Concord

Today, I went ice skating at a place with the most terrible rental skates. Pair 1 was too worn out, pair 2 too small, pair 3 damaged inside. I thought pair 4 was finally a winner, until I got on the ice and realized the blades were fucked. I went flying forward, landed hard, and slid across the ice like a penguin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 828

You deserved it 127

mack1688 0

Thursday 3 March 2011 1:12

as an EX figure skater. why the hell was his face that close to your blade.

memo619 0

Thursday 3 March 2011 1:19

I'm pretty sure you impressed him he never saw it coming

Comments

ohSNAPyall 26

Thursday 3 March 2011 3:29

I don't think that was a stretch to assume, considering you said your ex is female. :P

ohSNAPyall 26

Thursday 3 March 2011 3:31

If you're that good at skating, you should know basic safety precautions. YDI

grdianknight 0

Thursday 3 March 2011 3:36

come on now, if fml has taught us anything, it's trying to impress someone never works, lol

doubleshot555 0

Thursday 3 March 2011 3:45

Gay=Manboob action=EWWW

kingtz 6

Thursday 3 March 2011 3:47

That makes no sense! You're a girl, your ex is a "she". How are you not a lesbian or bisexual?

1_Classy_Hobo 0

Thursday 3 March 2011 4:13

holy ****. that must have sucked. besides why would you impress a guy with skating? that isn't exactly the greatest thing to them

bodnarfresh 0

Thursday 3 March 2011 4:24

He's probably psyched about his badass scar. Don't worry about it, Pansy-Poo.

OCDC 9

Thursday 3 March 2011 4:53

Next time you try the Iron Lotus, let him do the spinning and kicking.

andrew145 3

Thursday 3 March 2011 5:58

hahahaha

JustinThunder 8

Thursday 3 March 2011 4:53

She used to be a lesbian/bisexual. She never indicated that she never was one.

Hockeyboy4280 18

Thursday 3 March 2011 5:10

And what did Jimmy Macelroy's coach say about the Iron Lotus?! ONLY 2 MEN CAN DO IT! But seriously, fyl OP.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I told my mom that I think I’m anorexic and she told me she didn’t care. When I asked why, in disbelief she replied, "Honey, you are 5’3 and over 350 lbs, at this point you NEED to be anorexic." FML

I agree, your life sucks 134

You deserved it 454

Today, my wife dragged me to the bathroom, promising to "show something hot." Not that I was in the mood, but okay. She took off her pants, sat on a toilet, and demanded that I tell her about my day. She wanted me to entertain her while she was taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 83

The Top

Today, I found out I'm starting to get varicose veins, typical in older people who don't move enough. I'm 34 and I get 9 hours of exercise a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 537

You deserved it 161

Today, my mother looked me dead in the face and said, "I have failed as a parent." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 228

You deserved it 7 112

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after 3 years. Why, do you ask? Turns out her dad used to bully my dad in highschool and my dad kicked his ass after all this time and sent him to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 201

You deserved it 101

Today, I was out with my boyfriend, when he started browsing wedding rings. He found a ring, proposed to me right there in front of a crowd, and then was promptly denied a payment plan. We left without a ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 398

You deserved it 5 752

Today, I worked in a shoe store. As I was removing the shoes off an older man I felt a squish, and pulled back my hand to see brown and yellow. The man then looked at me and said, "Looks like I missed a spot." Dog crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 185

You deserved it 1 857

Today, I lost my cell phone. Since I sleep on the couch, I started looking through the cushions. I didn't find my phone, but after 6 months of uncomfortably sleeping on the couch, I find out I'm sleeping on top of a pull out bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 699

You deserved it 61 291