Animals: Today, I was outside when a mouse ran toward my feet. There was...

By killer - 17/07/2010 14:54 - United States

Today, I was outside when a mouse ran toward my feet. There was a wall behind me, so I tried to jump over him. He changed course, and I landed on him. It crunched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 839

You deserved it 8 118

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Same thing different taste

By goldenpuppy - 19/05/2016 20:54 - United States - Somerville

Today, I was sitting on my couch when I felt something weird underneath me. I got up, thinking I'd sat on my phone or something. Wrong. I'd sat on a live mouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 147

You deserved it 1 086

By Anonymous - 30/03/2012 07:45 - Australia - Perth

Today, I woke up to what sounded like twigs snapping. Turns out it was the skull of a live mouse being crushed in my cat's jaws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 266

You deserved it 2 747

By AquaKelly - 24/12/2014 01:48 - United States - Newark

Today, I set a trap to catch a mouse that ran across my foot. Not only did the trap shut on my finger twice, but I watched the mouse run over the trap without it snapping shut. I guess I have a new roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 827

You deserved it 4 767

By whydoihavecats - 04/08/2015 19:19 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out what mouse intestines squashed against my bare feet feels like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 506

You deserved it 2 661

By juwkgo - 17/02/2010 15:05 - United States

Today, as I was about to leave my house in my brand new heels, I stepped on a dead mouse. My heel went through it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 066

You deserved it 5 595

Sorry Stuart…

By connor1701 - 27/02/2017 20:00

Today, I went to put my coat on to go out. I put my hand in my pocket, not knowing there was a mouse sleeping in there. I squeezed it, it bit me and ran off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 370

You deserved it 648

By animal lover... - 05/10/2013 22:34

Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 898

You deserved it 4 044

Thanks Raymond

By Anonymous - 20/03/2016 05:13 - United States - Boise

Today, my cat brought home a bloody, barely-living mouse. The thing managed to escape and dragged itself into a crack in the wall, where it must have died. The only way to get it out before it starts to stink up the place is by demolishing the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 860

You deserved it 1 703

Spooky

By mike - 11/03/2011 18:34 - United States

Today, I set up a mouse trap to kill the rodent plaguing my kitchen. While lying in bed, I heard an unmistakable snap, and ran to see what I'd caught. The mouse trap was missing. I now have a large, angry, and possibly dying animal running around my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 589

You deserved it 7 163

By Anonymous - 05/10/2014 17:04 - United States - Louisville

Today, I woke up to a mouse sitting on my pillow and chewing on my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 648

You deserved it 3 729

Monado 0

Saturday 17 July 2010 20:19

New version of mouse trap?

ArtIsResistance7 1

Saturday 17 July 2010 20:21

Your cat-like reflexes would make you an excellent ninja. Poor mousie :[

Comments

phippsy95 2

Sunday 18 July 2010 1:07

more like f the muse,s life?

Yung23 0

Sunday 18 July 2010 2:04

dang 85 is sexy

Booper711 0

Sunday 18 July 2010 2:49

fatty haha jk

ToNstAAr 8

Sunday 18 July 2010 3:16

I winced when I read this…

twignig 0

Sunday 18 July 2010 3:38

gah me too.

chantelfurtado 0

Sunday 18 July 2010 3:45

ewwwww WTF

Anon9002 0

Sunday 18 July 2010 3:45

OP is Mario. Should have shoot fireballs at it instead.

UnluckyDom 0

Sunday 18 July 2010 4:08

FTRL **** The Rats Life

musicman226 0

Sunday 18 July 2010 4:56

This sounds like another fml I no of

ttyl99 0

Sunday 18 July 2010 5:11

I find it funny that ur name is the killer yet ummm ur scared of a little tiny mouse

ninjasaurous 0

Sunday 18 July 2010 5:22

Poor moussyyyyy=,[

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Today, my mother-in-law came over. Probably thinking that the needles in our fridge were steroids, and wanting to do the right thing, she took them to throw them away. I'm diabetic, and they were my insulin. I went into shock after she left and had to go to the hospital. FML

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You deserved it 162

Today, my girlfriend sent me a video of herself masturbating so I could watch it on my business trip. As I was watching it, I realised someone was filming her, because the camera was moving and definitely not on a tripod. I know I never recorded a video of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 369

You deserved it 494

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Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I'm "so hot". I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds, "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply, "I didn't know you were into Pokémon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokémon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 742

You deserved it 74 136

Today, my house is suffering from an infestation of these tiny black beetles. After brushing my teeth tonight, I was rinsing out my toothbrush when I found that one of the beetles had curled up to die between the bristles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 993

You deserved it 4 040

Today, my significant other woke at 4:30 a.m. to me crying about a spider in the bathroom. I have an intense fear of spiders; he was super nice and took care of it for me. He even walked me out to my car. I started to calm down driving to work, but when I got there what do I see on the door handle but a spider. I'm still shaking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 947

You deserved it 452

Today, I was at the mall with my boyfriend and 2 friends. My uncle passed by me in the mall. He said, "What are you, babysitting or something?" He pointed to the merry-go-round. My boyfriend was sitting on a giraffe, yelling at the top of his lungs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 309

You deserved it 12 741

Today, I found out that, after a year of separation, my ex-wife is pregnant and due in a few months. The divorce became official a few weeks ago and the father is my former best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 461

You deserved it 331

Today, I found out that my mother cheated on my father. It turns out she had a drunken one night stand with the manager of the restaurant that my parents own, and where I work. The same manager I have been secretly sleeping with for over six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 887

You deserved it 10 497

Same thing different taste

Sorry Stuart…

Thanks Raymond

Spooky

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