Intimacy: Today, I was playing catch with my 6 year old cousin in the garden,...

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By Girl - 19/08/2009 00:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I was playing catch with my 6 year old cousin in the garden, when he demanded a piggy back. Trying to be the good cousin, I did so and he soon shouts "Run! Run!" so I do so. Suddenly he shouts "STOP! My winky's gone pointy". I gave my 6 year old cousin an erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 153

You deserved it 5 338

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By girlmeetsworld - 18/02/2009 23:27 - United States

Today, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing his face into my crotch. Then he pulled it out and said "Ew, that's stinky" in front of my entire class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 143

You deserved it 13 663

By Anonymous - 15/07/2012 19:09 - United States - Littleton

Today, I went to a big family dinner. At one point, my cousin ran up to me, sobbing hysterically, holding his crotch, and making a huge scene. Turns out that while taking a piss, he "accidentally" swatted his willy with an electric bug zapper. I can't believe I'm related to this little shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 506

You deserved it 3 516

You what now?

By tryena - 28/02/2009 10:59 - United States

Today, I babysat a five year-old girl. She ran up to me, threw her arms around my waist and said, "YUMMY! I'm going to eat you!" with her face in my crotch. I said sarcastically under my breath, "Finally, some action!" I turned around to find her dad staring at me, having heard. He's my cousin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 312

You deserved it 92 993

By anon - 23/03/2015 02:24 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly got up and ran to his mom to tell her I was "touching in bad spots". I was tickling his armpits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 343

You deserved it 2 942

Onan would be proud

By concernedcousin - 05/10/2019 12:00

Today, my little twelve year-old cousin who is staying with us for a while so his parents can "work out issues" ran into my room, his face ghostly white. He begged me to take him to the hospital because he "tugged" on his penis too much in the shower, and was "bleeding milky stuff." Sigh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 014

You deserved it 194

Early learner

By Michele - 18/01/2010 00:32 - United States

Today, while babysitting a six year-old boy, he asked me if I could show him my "boobies." I said no, that wouldn't be very appropriate. Suddenly, he pulled down his undies and pointed at his package while exclaiming, "Look, my penis is on again!" It was pointing RIGHT at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 622

You deserved it 4 064

By Ginger_Gawd - 21/01/2014 03:34 - United States - Hialeah

Today, I was playing with my little nephew and began to tickle him playfully, even though I know he doesn't like to be tickled. When I was done, he looked me straight in the eye, punched me in the groin, and told me, "No one tickles me". He's six. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 495

You deserved it 46 174

By brittbrat4 - 13/08/2011 06:51 - United States

Today, I was teasing my 12 year old little cousin about him liking my best friend. I guess it made him mad because he yelled "Breast cancer!" at the top of his lungs before power-punching my right boob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 314

You deserved it 36 647

The big reveal

By joe - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Easton

Today, I was teasing my 6-year-old sister about having a boyfriend. I asked her, "Did he take his shirt off?" She promptly said no. A few minutes later, she said, "But he did take his pants off." I then asked why. She said, "To show me his penis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 105

You deserved it 8 773

By Anonymous - 24/11/2012 13:59 - United States

Today, I was playing with my four year-old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 472

You deserved it 7 856

danielrp34 7

Wednesday 19 August 2009 9:37

Umm...Could you give me a piggy back ride too?

spatan89 0

Wednesday 19 August 2009 9:44

well that's nice... you were giving him the ride of his life! his 6 years of life! lol. in a couple years you'll be replaced by some other chick tho... i just hope you're ready for that. haha.

Comments

ACupOfBagels 0

Monday 24 August 2009 19:51

on the bright side youre probably hot but on the bad side youre cousin might possibly be into insest

mrs_sean_flanery 0

Monday 24 August 2009 20:26

LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! totally my fave FML!!!!!

Shannonnicole 0

Tuesday 25 August 2009 2:24

it's not cute to see a 4 year old get an erection...that's straight up disturbing if anybody thinks that's cute.

its_jaspertasic 0

Sunday 6 September 2009 9:00

I agree.

its_jaspertasic 0

Sunday 6 September 2009 9:03

Totally creepy.

BLiNdZoRz 3

Thursday 10 September 2009 3:16

ignore this comment

Greyst0ne 0

Thursday 10 September 2009 22:31

YDI for being sexy

zucchinifreakm 0

Saturday 26 June 2010 7:58

shirvon100 0

Friday 25 September 2009 1:09

OMG he probably knew what was goin to happen and i asked you to run so he could get an up, obviously he doesnt know its a form of masturbation but he probably knows it felt good, kids, watchya gona do

shirvon100 0

Friday 25 September 2009 1:13

Phantom13 3

Saturday 10 October 2009 8:55

Seriously hun.....stop giving sex advice like you know the damn subject....as a matter of fact do us all a favor and stop talking about sex altogther....or just stop talking....whatever works! Personally, I like the last option best.....really? Errections a 4?! Where the **** do you get your facts from?! First the whole clit/g-spot thing and now this?? I hope no one is taking your misinformation seriously....next you're going to masterfully inform everyone how you can't get pregnant if you **** in water.....