Intimacy: Today, I was playing catch with my 6 year old cousin in the garden,...

By Girl - 19/08/2009 00:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I was playing catch with my 6 year old cousin in the garden, when he demanded a piggy back. Trying to be the good cousin, I did so and he soon shouts "Run! Run!" so I do so. Suddenly he shouts "STOP! My winky's gone pointy". I gave my 6 year old cousin an erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 151

You deserved it 5 338

The rhythm of the fight
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Same thing different taste

By girlmeetsworld - 18/02/2009 23:27 - United States

Today, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing his face into my crotch. Then he pulled it out and said "Ew, that's stinky" in front of my entire class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 138

You deserved it 13 659

By Anonymous - 15/07/2012 19:09 - United States - Littleton

Today, I went to a big family dinner. At one point, my cousin ran up to me, sobbing hysterically, holding his crotch, and making a huge scene. Turns out that while taking a piss, he "accidentally" swatted his willy with an electric bug zapper. I can't believe I'm related to this little shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 502

You deserved it 3 513

You what now?

By tryena - 28/02/2009 10:59 - United States

Today, I babysat a five year-old girl. She ran up to me, threw her arms around my waist and said, "YUMMY! I'm going to eat you!" with her face in my crotch. I said sarcastically under my breath, "Finally, some action!" I turned around to find her dad staring at me, having heard. He's my cousin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 307

You deserved it 92 958

By anon - 23/03/2015 02:24 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly got up and ran to his mom to tell her I was "touching in bad spots". I was tickling his armpits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 331

You deserved it 2 939

Onan would be proud

By concernedcousin - 05/10/2019 12:00

Today, my little twelve year-old cousin who is staying with us for a while so his parents can "work out issues" ran into my room, his face ghostly white. He begged me to take him to the hospital because he "tugged" on his penis too much in the shower, and was "bleeding milky stuff." Sigh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 004

You deserved it 192

Early learner

By Michele - 18/01/2010 00:32 - United States

Today, while babysitting a six year-old boy, he asked me if I could show him my "boobies." I said no, that wouldn't be very appropriate. Suddenly, he pulled down his undies and pointed at his package while exclaiming, "Look, my penis is on again!" It was pointing RIGHT at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 612

You deserved it 4 060

By Ginger_Gawd - 21/01/2014 03:34 - United States - Hialeah

Today, I was playing with my little nephew and began to tickle him playfully, even though I know he doesn't like to be tickled. When I was done, he looked me straight in the eye, punched me in the groin, and told me, "No one tickles me". He's six. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 493

You deserved it 46 161

By brittbrat4 - 13/08/2011 06:51 - United States

Today, I was teasing my 12 year old little cousin about him liking my best friend. I guess it made him mad because he yelled "Breast cancer!" at the top of his lungs before power-punching my right boob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 310

You deserved it 36 643

The big reveal

By joe - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Easton

Today, I was teasing my 6-year-old sister about having a boyfriend. I asked her, "Did he take his shirt off?" She promptly said no. A few minutes later, she said, "But he did take his pants off." I then asked why. She said, "To show me his penis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 091

You deserved it 8 762

By Anonymous - 24/11/2012 13:59 - United States

Today, I was playing with my four year-old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 471

You deserved it 7 855

danielrp34 7

Wednesday 19 August 2009 9:37

Umm...Could you give me a piggy back ride too?

spatan89 0

Wednesday 19 August 2009 9:44

well that's nice... you were giving him the ride of his life! his 6 years of life! lol. in a couple years you'll be replaced by some other chick tho... i just hope you're ready for that. haha.

Comments

iHaveNoLife88 0

Wednesday 19 August 2009 21:40

LMAO! I feel bad for you but that is just sooo funny!

MoobyTheCow 2

Wednesday 19 August 2009 21:48

At that age, it probably isn't sexual.

elliekinslurvsya 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 0:35

my winky's gone pointy!! xD that is freaking hilarious! but you do know #88s right, don't you? kids that young cant really control it, it just happens for no reason at all.

GrapefruitZoe 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 1:18

You didn't give your cousin an erection. That HAPPENS to little boys.

replaceme 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 1:53

ah, the beauty of british penis slang.

DameGreyWulf 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 4:42

It's all right. It happens a lot, actually. I mean, that little boys get random erections, not that you give little boys erections. Funny as hell though.

triplethreat13 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 6:11

erections are something males can never fully control, but by the time they're in middle school, they'll know why they get them, so their random erections start to become less frequent. that 6-year-old boy was excited that he was getting a piggy back ride, and the excitement gave him an erection. it had nothing to do with you.

juicyfruit23 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 6:30

thats ok. my 4 year old cousin told me in detail about hiw winkler "beeping" and how sometimes it feels really good, that he talks to it sometimes, and told me about his winkler pit --- the spot behind his winkler where theres 2 balls.

ladiidaa 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 7:48

You almost made me fall out of my chair imagining Kermit the Frog say "Erection Connection" >O Thanks.

DomyDamsy 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 9:28

ummm, yah, so you see, when a boys penis touches an object, he might randomly get an erection from the stimulation of contact, so ur back gave ur cousin a hand job, at 6