Cats and Animals: Today, I was playing with my cat. I tried to put him on my stomach,...

By creedonfied - 06/11/2012 20:27 - United States - Billerica

Today, I was playing with my cat. I tried to put him on my stomach, but he refused to stay put. Ever since I lost weight, he won't lay with me or purr. I think my fat was the only thing he liked about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 324

You deserved it 2 994

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Same thing different taste

Heftychonker

By Anonymous - 26/08/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's cat adores me. I can't sit down without her jumping on my lap and purring. The cat is also overweight, with very sharp claws, and likes to knead on my legs. My legs look like I lost a fight with a thorn bush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 110

By Jeanna S. - 23/11/2012 15:10 - United States

Today, my cat was too overweight to get out of the litter box, so he gave up, and went to sleep. I had to pick him up out of his own waste and clean him up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 414

You deserved it 28 278

By dormeur - 18/01/2013 11:39 - France - Malakoff

Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a paw slap, then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 730

You deserved it 15 849

By Anonymous - 21/10/2012 05:59 - United States

Today, my cat played dead just so I would leave him alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 459

You deserved it 6 072

Sorry little buddy

By Sorry kitty - 23/11/2022 16:00

Today, my cat sat on me, 30 minutes before I had to go to work. When I picked him up almost immediately after he got comfortable so I could get ready, he looked and sounded absolutely crushed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 888

You deserved it 212

Thanks for the support

By Anonymous - 01/03/2024 15:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, I came home very tired from a bad day at work, and really just wanted to relax on the couch for a while. My cat jumped into my lap, wanting affection. I was petting him, thanking him for his emotional support. He reciprocated by noxiously farting in my face and running away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 180

By Fat Arsed Lass - 01/06/2014 10:28 - New Zealand - East Tamaki

Today, while laying on the couch my cat came and laid on me. Turns out my ass is big enough for my 13 year old cat to walk around in circles, wash itself, stretch and sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 465

You deserved it 9 499

By orely44 - 08/03/2013 14:13 - France - Rez

Today, after about fifteen minutes of my cat bullying me into letting him get onto my lap, I finally caved. He clambered on, turned around, farted in my direction, and got off as fast as he got on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 664

You deserved it 9 612

By insert pussy pun, hurr durr - 29/06/2016 17:34 - United States - Hopkinsville

Today, my boyfriend got irrationally pissed at me because his cat decided to sit on my lap instead of his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 314

You deserved it 1 153

My pride and joy

By A good cat owner - 02/11/2022 10:00 - United States

Today, I had to explain to another person that my cat is not morbidly obese, he just looks really fat when he lays down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 182

Mauskau 35

Tuesday 6 November 2012 23:32

My cat refuses to sit on my lap, but he climbs on my mum's stomach and chest and sits on them because she's fat lol.

yessy729 0

Tuesday 6 November 2012 23:34

Am I the only one that read 'pussy' first?

Comments

maddygirl820 10

Wednesday 7 November 2012 2:59

Cats are creepy anyway Edit: Cue the creepy cat obsessed women

LolPieRofl 11

Wednesday 7 November 2012 3:02

In the middle east nobody likes cats and u would see lots of stray cats but barely stray dogs

LolPieRofl 11

Wednesday 7 November 2012 3:02

In the middle east nobody likes cats and u would see lots of stray cats but barely stray dogs

danial1214 21

Wednesday 7 November 2012 23:58

They just dont want the cats to lay around in there houses and get fat but they let them come inside during daytime. And there arent many stray dogs because they all either die of starvation or die fighting other dogs.

Special_Psycho 8

Wednesday 7 November 2012 3:18

Evil fuzzy, I really hope your kitty becomes cuddly again. Good luck to you.

awkward_gothlady 32

Wednesday 7 November 2012 3:25

How big is the cat? If he's a big kitty, he might not feel comfortable lying on your stomach. I'm pretty skinny (5'7.5"/125 lbs), and my cat likes to lie on my stomach. But the cat I had before her didn't. I think that since he was kind of big (13 lbs), he just didn't feel like he fit. My current cat is about 6.5 pounds and she likes lying on my stomach.