Kids: Today, I was pretending to be an angry bear while babysitting...

By Anonymous - 16/04/2011 23:42 - United States

Today, I was pretending to be an angry bear while babysitting a 3 year-old boy, and an 19 month-old girl. I was chasing them around the house, having a great time. Just when I bent over to pick up his sister for a diaper change, the 3 year-old decided it was his turn. He bit me square on the ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 150

You deserved it 11 258

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Same thing different taste

By buttpain - 01/12/2016 18:29

Today, I had dinner with my boyfriend's family. His 3-year-old nephew came running for a hug. At the last second, he darted past my arms and bit me on the ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 613

You deserved it 844

By KPKallery - 05/06/2009 05:25 - United States

Today, I was babysitting. I was sitting on the sofa when I felt that I need to ajust my sitting arangment. After moving, I felt a small toy snap under me. The little boy said it was fine. One hour later he snuck up on me and beat me with an umbrella for breaking his toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 802

You deserved it 11 749

By mew - 25/10/2011 18:04 - Canada

Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 175

You deserved it 3 236

By AnHoneyMouse - 12/05/2017 02:00

Today, while I was cooking, my dogs were messing around behind me. I suddenly felt a painful bite on my ass cheek and instinctively kicked back. I then realized it was my 3-year-old daughter, who was laying on the floor crying with a nose bleed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 126

You deserved it 1 411

Little shit

By moneyman22 - 01/03/2010 19:09 - United States

Today, I was asked to take care of my 3 year-old little brother. After 15 minutes of him screaming and me trying to keep him entertained, he started throwing his toy cars at me. He hit me in the mouth, and I started to bleed. My parents yelled at me for "not controlling him." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 481

You deserved it 3 966

Straight to jail

By anon - 15/07/2011 01:51 - United States

Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 000

You deserved it 70 970

By anon - 23/03/2015 02:24 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly got up and ran to his mom to tell her I was "touching in bad spots". I was tickling his armpits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 330

You deserved it 2 937

By peestain - 25/10/2010 10:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I babysat my neighbour's spoilt bratty twins. When I told them it was their bed time, they pushed me over. One then started smashing me with a plastic sword, and as I lay helpless on the floor the other one peed on me. I got owned by two five year olds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 674

You deserved it 32 131

By Anonymous - 12/05/2009 03:43 - United States

Today, I was babysitting a really bratty little girl. She came and cuddled up on the couch so I took it as an apology. I feel asleep while she was sitting with me and when I woke up she had peed on me. She locked herself in her room and was laughing about peeing on me for discipling her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 728

You deserved it 7 587

By Anonymous - 15/11/2010 07:26

Today, I volunteered to help out at an elementary school. I accidentally elbowed a little girl in the face while playing tag. And an hour later, a little boy flew out of his swing because I accidentally pushed him too hard. They're both siblings and are my child psychology instructor's kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 158

You deserved it 9 110

enonymous 8

Sunday 17 April 2011 9:28

Now that he has the taste for flesh. He will come back and finish you off this time with some A1 sauce and some Jamaican jerk sauce for variety

hollylollyxoxo 0

Sunday 17 April 2011 9:18

LOL I didn't know angry bears bit asses :P

Comments

Thanatos1206 0

Sunday 17 April 2011 9:46

So he decided it was his turn to change your diaper? I guess he decided to use his mouth to tear a hole in your diaper and suction it out...sick kid.

madisonpaige19 7

Wednesday 12 September 2012 4:27

Your theory is quite weird to me.

khaya 9

Sunday 17 April 2011 9:49

They grow up so fast.

xxcheezy7xx 5

Sunday 17 April 2011 10:03

lucky he didnt dive under and naw on your testacals,

EYYYBOOTS 0

Sunday 17 April 2011 10:29

I think a babysitter would be a girl hun

Fuzzbump 5

Sunday 17 April 2011 10:44

#23 Why do you say that?

SteelCladAngel 0

Sunday 17 April 2011 13:37

gnaw....

SteelCladAngel 0

Sunday 17 April 2011 13:40

gnaw....

kingtz 6

Sunday 17 April 2011 18:13

26, because, really, would you hire some dude to watch your kids?

Lopee069 4

Sunday 17 April 2011 10:37

I dont think he was pretending. He wanted your ass. ^.~

IMveryHUNGRY 3

Sunday 17 April 2011 10:39

Now are we talking cheek or hole?

ComTlancy 12

Sunday 17 April 2011 12:19

lol, Pedobear now has an FML account

ohSNAPyall 26

Sunday 17 April 2011 13:17

RABIES SHOT!!!!

Mailid 0

Sunday 17 April 2011 13:19

Kids do the funniest things. lol.

mrahhhhh 21

Sunday 17 April 2011 13:21

YDI for not having a shiny metal ass, which would have made this FML 10x funnier.

lazerdude07 0

Sunday 17 April 2011 13:26

you can't chase a 19 month old girl. she probably can't walk

monnanon 13

Sunday 17 April 2011 14:38

19 months old a year and 7 months, most kids can walk and run by then, they are usually walking a few steps or at least standing by a year old.

jal10a 1

Sunday 17 April 2011 14:48

I know a 9 mos old who walks with help now and will be walking by himself in no time

sby258 0

Monday 18 April 2011 6:29

my 18 month old nephew is a fast runner lol

monnanon 13

Monday 18 April 2011 11:27

I can only assume that the person that said she cant walk thought the baby was a lot younger than 19 months. If the baby has no physical problems and doesn't need one of those hip casts then for the most part they are running well before 19 months.