Transportation: Today, I was searched and questioned at the airport for having... - FML

By Anonymous - 27/11/2013 02:39 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, I was searched and questioned at the airport for having an apple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 960

You deserved it 4 784

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Busted

By blububble412 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Sierra Vista

Today, we had a drug search at school. After the search, we went back inside. My bag was open, and my lunch was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 548

You deserved it 2 533

On the run

By Airplane crap - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Leavenworth

Today, I got stuck on an airplane for a while before takeoff. Someone decided it was a great time to get diarrhea while on the toilet, and we couldn't take off for safety reasons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 486

You deserved it 4 228

Holding pattern

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff - United States - Chevy Chase

Today, I just landed in Washington, DC. Unfortunately, I also took off from Washington, DC an hour ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 997

You deserved it 261

Rough

By aarone23 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was slammed onto my car, thrown on the ground, and arrested for outstanding warrants from 1979. I was born in 1992. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 299

You deserved it 4 151

By jcesom - 29/07/2009 05:53 - United States

Today, I showed by ID to get into a bar and the bouncer kept it because he said it wasn't me. It was. Apparently I've gained so much weight I am unrecognizable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 549

You deserved it 15 944

By Ohwhy - 27/10/2012 11:53 - United Kingdom - Liverpool

Today, as I waited to fly home, a very attractive woman smiled and gestured towards the seat next to me. However, a hyperactive child and his mother barged past into said empty seats. The woman really hit it off with the guy behind, while I was stuck listening to a kid scream at Angry Birds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 492

You deserved it 2 082

Suspect

By Anonymous - 01/08/2009 04:30 - United States

Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was, "A man running." I didn't even get an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 402

You deserved it 2 849

Early warning

By Hreyes - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I overheard my boss stressing out over finding a replacement for me. I didn't know I was leaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 019

You deserved it 2 228

Still not calling it X

By twitterfailsme - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Israel - Rishon Le Zion

Today, I googled myself in preparation for my upcoming job interview. Turns out there's a girl on Twitter with my name and age who tweets nonstop about getting wasted and being on probation. She won't make her profile private. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 516

You deserved it 3 670

It's sus to us

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - New Orleans

Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 436

You deserved it 4 496

Next

Top comments

haileyshelton 14

Wednesday 27 November 2013 5:59

Apple bomb?

RedPillSucks 31

Wednesday 27 November 2013 6:00

Weapon of tasty destruction

Comments

JMichael 25

Wednesday 27 November 2013 15:09

They're just protecting your right as an American to be obese.

AutumnReflection 7

Wednesday 27 November 2013 15:14

How does that happen exactly ?

kdbb 4

Wednesday 27 November 2013 15:25

terrorist. that's un-American. you should be eating mcdonalds.

isuckok 11

Wednesday 27 November 2013 15:33

Bring grapes instead. Nobody ever got searched with grapes.

otebear 3

Wednesday 27 November 2013 16:21

Well, to be fair, apples are rubbish.

Abottleofmadness 10

Wednesday 27 November 2013 17:21

Maybe they were just jealous of your apple iPhone...

Zebediabolical 39

Wednesday 27 November 2013 17:22

Anyone in America who's eating an apple instead of a twinkie is completely Unamerican!

MissMegan711 5

Wednesday 27 November 2013 17:24

You're not supposed to bring fruit to the airport especially if you are flying to another country. It can have diseases and germs. So next time try learning the rules beforehand.

Kfriz 1

Wednesday 27 November 2013 17:48

This exact thing happened to me once. They patted me down.

worldclassrager 39

Wednesday 27 November 2013 18:07

I have learned unless you get it beyond the security checkpoint eat anything you have outside of it...

4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11

Keywords

First Dates Love AITA Awkward Dogs Animals Cute Alcohol Am I overreacting? Health Relatable Food Holidays Miscellaneous Family Thanksgiving Politics Transportation Cars Sex Intimacy Contraception Suspicious Cheating Kids Poopoo peepee Gross Accident Birthday Gifts

The Top

Today, my dad agreed to let me borrow the car to go rock climbing with my friends. He'd just filled it up with gas, which is how I realized halfway back home that one of my "friends" had siphoned well over half the gas straight out of the tank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 898

You deserved it 2 259

Today, I found out my fiancé has been sleeping with his therapist behind my back. If that wasn't bad enough on its own, I'd talked him into starting therapy six months ago to help with his mental health troubles, and have been mostly paying for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 375

You deserved it 229

The Top

Today, I stumbled upon a slightly drunk neighbor, trying to type in the entry code with his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 917

You deserved it 60

Today, I heard my cat climbing on the counters in the kitchen. To prevent a tremendous avalanche of dishes, I picked up the cat and put it outside. She got scared from the blinds and scurried away leaving deep scratches across my nipple. I wasn't wearing a shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 176

You deserved it 16 610

Today, my niece, who is fifteen, convinced my six-year-old daughter that her name is spelled C-U-N-T, and just pronounced as Catherine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 557

You deserved it 3 461

Today, I invited my best friend to sleep on my couch while he looks for a new place. He walked inside, dropped his stuff on the floor and asked me my policy on hookers. I laughed it off as a joke. Half an hour later my doorbell rang. He took my laughter as a yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 631

You deserved it 6 868

Today, I finally learned why the application of lasers, acids, liquid nitrogen and witchcraft never did any good on the huge warts on my hands. Apparently, it's a genetic disease and not a virus. For unknown reasons, I've recently grown the normal viral kind too. On my tongue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 027

You deserved it 4 276

Today, it's -5°C outside and snowing and it's only September. If that wasn’t bad enough, we aren't allowed to have the heat on at work due to a menopausal monster who loses her shit and throws things if we turn it on. I can't feel my toes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 263

You deserved it 237