Health: Today, I was shaving my balls with a blade razor because my electric... - FML

By ITguy1982 - 28/05/2009 17:15 - United States

Today, I was shaving my balls with a blade razor because my electric trimmer had died and I had a big date with the girl of my dreams. I moved too quickly and accidentally knicked a vein in my scrotum. I had to hold gauze over my balls until the paramedics arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 637

You deserved it 60 589

ITguy1982 tells us more.

ITguy1982 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 21:26

Just got back from the hospital. Needed 8 stitches to close everything back up again. I had to postpone the date. Hopefully she'll be willing to wait a few weeks for me to heal up. I now have to put my sack in a plastic zip lock bag when I take a shower in order to prevent the area from getting wet.

Black Friday: Sales and crazy situations
Shopping stories where discounts aren't the only surprises! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

Miru_fml 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 20:03

OMG.... that sucks! FYL for getting cut, but also YDI because... why would you shave your balls, and on a first date??

genius_man16 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 20:05

BAHAHAHAHAHAHA You should know to be careful when you shave down there. THEY ARE YOUR ******* BALLS MAN!! YDI for being a fool.

Comments

healingtouch 0

Monday 1 June 2009 3:41

Why would you shave your balls anyway? Just trim, man. Trim!

Scorponok 0

Monday 1 June 2009 5:33

Should have just bought some new batteries, you cheap fool.

LaLaJoy 2

Monday 1 June 2009 5:47

I honestly don't believe half of what I read on this site. If you nick yourself shaving, it may bleed a lot, but there's no way the paramedics would have to come for that. Even if you believed the original post, #90 pretty much shows that this FML isn't meant to be taken seriously. :)

lunchmeat317 0

Monday 1 June 2009 21:49

There are so many things wrong with this that it's not even funny. Why the **** would you bring a blade anywhere close to your balls? Your balls dude? Your balls.

jayjaylee19 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 6:58

dude... balls... blade+balls= bad idea. that was kinda obvious

Morelcap 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 7:20

And I thought shaving/trimming pubes was ridiculous...

jplumbob 4

Wednesday 3 June 2009 9:25

I am glad I wasn't your paramedic. I would not touch your balls. I would have made you fix it yourself.

gamingawesome 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 21:38

Call me psychotic, but i use a nail trimmer

findingmylemon 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 21:39

Omg I covered myself when I read this. That blows

peaceoutt13 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 3:09

hahhahah! that is sooo ******* funnnyy! but tht really suckss..

26
27
28
29
30
31
32
33
34

Keywords

Birds Food Work Jealousy Love Mental health Public freakouts Miscellaneous Awkward Relatable Cooking Fire Coworkers Cute Neighbours Kids Grandparents Wanker Lonely Halloween Party Fight Family Argument Animals Cats Parents Health Embarrassing Sports

The Top

Stop everything you're doing right now, there's an (almost) naked lady in today's illustration! Plus, there's a puppet AND doctors. It's the perfect illustration, made by Gemma Correll, our British artist of the day. Check out her interview! ...

I agree, your life sucks 10

You deserved it 9

Today, I finally got my boyfriend to watch one of my favorite TV shows. I was excitedly talking when he interrupted me and angrily said, "Can you stop with the fucking spoilers?" I then realized I'd spoiled half the show. He left to play video games. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 855

The Top

Today, I was messaged by a great guy I went to college with, and he was telling me how stupid he had been for not asking me out in college and about how much he had liked me. After talking for 30 minutes about trying to get together soon, he told me that he had mistaken me for someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 335

You deserved it 2 902

Today, after fasting for 24 hours and drinking 2 buckets of laxatives, my doctor's office notified me that my colonoscopy had been cancelled. I'd just finished the prep by taking the fart pills, and now have the cleanest colon ever. A lot of time spent on the toilet that I’ll never get back though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 057

You deserved it 122

Today, I wore a new pair of shoes to work. By lunchtime, my feet were covered in blisters and I had to limp my way through the rest of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 378

Today, I slipped into an ATM vestibule quickly without a mask. The place smelled like the antiseptic at a doctor's office, so I figured, "What could go wrong?" Not more than 6 hours later, I found out that I’m sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 1 908

Today, it's been a month since I silently moved on from my online boyfriend. I met him in a chatroom after a break-up. I thought he was my "forever after." He told me he'd lost his feelings for me and told me to wait. I waited, only for him to reveal that he was going on a date by asking me if a shirt was good for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 270

You deserved it 172

Today, I began writing thank-you cards for the gifts I got for my 21st birthday. To one set of grandparents, I wrote, "Thank you for the dancing chicken toy," and to the others I wrote, "Thank you for the $10 check." Those were the only gifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 789

You deserved it 258